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汇丰银行商务写作教程(9)

2008-09-04来源:
怎样让你的商务信件写得完整、连贯,不会让客户看了之后还不是很明白你的意图?这节课我们就来学习怎样让信件完整、连贯。
Being Complete: Why Do It

You’ve learned that you need to revise your writing 5 times to get results. You’re going to begin revising by looking at being complete. You’ll look at the other "Cs" in the next chapters.
You’ll learn how to check your documents to make them complete.
What do you think a complete document contains?
When you revise your writing to make it complete, you make it easy for your reader to respond. The reader doesn’t need to look for missing information.
You’ll also help the reader save time; they don’t need to read irrelevant information.

Therefore, a complete document contains
all that the reader needs to know
only what the reader needs to know
Being Complete: How To Do It

How do you know that your letter is complete?
You need to ask yourself two questions:
What is the structure of the letter?
What should I include in the content of the letter?
Usually, when you want to check if your letter is complete, you begin by looking at the structure of the letter.

A business letter contains 5 parts. The proper arrangement of these 5 parts is S-O-F-A-R.
Salutation
Opening
Facts
Action
Remark
STRUCTURE
Check the structure of the letter below. Try to identify the five parts of the letter.
Ms Fiona Green
100 Clearwater Bay Road
Sai Kung NT
22 April 200X
Dear Ms Green
PPS
I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date. Thank you for your kind attention.
Yours sincerely
Clever Man

Is the structure of the letter complete?
One part is missing from the letter. What is it?
A (for Action) is missing. In other words, the writer did not include the reader’s response. That’s why the reader will not know what to do after reading the letter.
You can check to see if your letter is complete by looking at the structure - or outline - of your letter. If one or more parts is/are missing, your letter is not complete. So, it needs to be revised.
There is, however, another way to check to see if your letter is complete.

CONTENT
You can also check the contents of the letter to see if it is complete. You can do this by comparing the contents of your letter with the plan you wrote earlier in the Writing Process.

What should be included in the contents of your letter?
the writer’s purpose
the reader’s response
all and only the information the reader needs.
Look at Clever Man’s letter again. Try to identify the writer’s purpose, the reader’s response and the information the reader needs.
What is missing from Clever Man’s letter?
The writer has stated his purpose: he is "advising" the reader. The writer has also given the reader some information: he notes that the "PPS details and application form were sent". But the writer does not tell the reader what to do. So, the reader’s response is missing.

As a result, the reader had to phone Clever Man to find out what she should do. He told her to fill out the form and return the application form to him.
Try to revise Clever Man’s letter to make it complete. On a piece of paper, write what you think the reader should do. Then decide where you should place this reader’s response in the letter.

Suggested answer:
Ms Fiona Green
100 Clearwater Bay Road
Sai Kung NT
22 April 200X
Dear Ms Green
PPS
I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date. Thank you for your kind attention.
Yours sincerely
Clever Man

You’ve checked the structure and the contents. As a result, you had to revise the letter by adding a sentence.
Now the letter should be complete. However, there’s one more thing you can do to check if a letter is complete.
You can use the "5W1H method". Do you remember this method? (You learned it in Chapter 1.)
The "5W1H method" involves asking the 5W and 1H questions, ie
Who? What? Why? When? Where? (5W)
How? (1H)
You should use this method whenever you write to

request action or information
provide information.
This will help you make sure that you include all and only the information that the reader needs.