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名师点评EBC中级学生用书作文题(4)

2011-09-09来源:和谐英语
  本期作文题目:
  Formulate a smoking policy for your office which is fair to both smokers and nonsmokers. Write a 40-50 word memo informing all staff of the policy.
  老师提示:
  我们需要确定,如果我是公司职员,我要在这篇memo中获得什么信息?是不是要知道:
  1.新的吸烟政策从什么时候开始;
  2.吸烟区划定在什么地方?
  网友作文一:
  TO: All Employees
  FROM: CEO, Willan Smith
  SUBJECT: NEW SMOKING POLICY
  For all the employees, especially smokers,[1] plz be aware that our company's new smoking policy has been formulated as follow: A main smoking area's going to be restricted before Next MONDAY[2], anyone is not allowed to smoker in non-smoking zone even in the washing room.[3]
  Plz target the smoking and non-smoking area and stick to the company's new policy.[4]
  Thx.
  修改:
  [1]去掉,抬头已经写过给所有的员工,所以直接从正文开始就行了,费这个事干什么?
  [2]时间不确切,最好是 from next Monday. Before 这个期限是什么时候?如果不能给出确切信息,就不要说,还不如换成具体的吸烟区域更好: be restricted to the room next to the toilet.
  [3]你经常在洗手间吸烟吗?或者你们公司有这样的同事?把这句话去掉。
  [4]添加:to ensure that it is fair to all of you.
  网友作文二:
  To: All staff
  From: Hope0068
  Everybody know that smoking is dangerous for your health. And the The studies didn't just point to the ill effects of smoking on those who smoke--non-smokers, too. [1] Notice is hereby given that the smoking area is located in the special corner[2] of the first floor of this building. This come into force on[3] September 15th.
  Thanks.
  修改:
  [1]Memo 的主要作用就是提醒同事们注意事项,这和吸烟有多有害不相干,去掉。改为:to assure working environment
  [2]一般的公司都应该给个room
  [3]from