英语四级六级作文点睛(四)

→ 改词扩句

——不改变原句的意思，仅通过词汇、语法手段使句子看起来更高级、地道。下面请看例子：

例10

原句：

They give us new information about the latest products. Some advertisements are very elegantly presented. And we are inspired or even moved by them. No matter it is an evil or an angel, advertisement has become an essential part of our modern life.

改句：

They provide us with up-to-date information about the latest products. Some advertisements are so elegantly presented that we are inspired or even moved. No matter it is an evil or an angel, advertisement has become an indispensable part of our modern life.

【解析】

原句中有"give"这个常用词，我们细想一下用一个比较高级的词组"provide sb. with sth."来替换它，同理，我们把"new"换成"up-to-date"，把"essential"换成"indispensable"。

然后，再看原句中的连接词"and"，我们可以发现And连接的前后句并不是并列关系，而是因果关系，所以我们可以用"so…that…"来连接两个句子。

例11

原句：

Unfortunately, it has also caused some problems never thought of. When we are faced with the dilemma, should we carry on the practice?

改句：

Unfortunately, it has also given rise to some unexpected problems. Confronted with the dilemma, should we carry on the practice?

【解析】

细看原句，我们首先在词上进行替换，“cause”比“give rise to”这个词组用的多，属于作文常用词汇，所以在考场上用“give rise to”是个亮点。同理，“faced with”改成“confronted with”，意思也是丝毫未变的。然后，原句中使用了定语从句，当然这也是可以的，但是在这里改成"unexpected"更为简洁清楚。最后，原句中 “when”后面跟的主语和主句一致，所以我们可以直接去掉“when we are”。

例12

原句：

Although our country is rich, the qualities of our living are still not satisfactory.

改句：

Rich as our country is, the qualities of our living are by no means satisfactory.

【解析】
细看原句，我们很快可以锁定"although"这个常用词，我的改法是把形容词“rich”提到句首，改成倒装句，这个句型一般为“形容词+as+名词主语+谓语动词”，意思是“尽管······还······”。

其次，我们细细研究下原句，可以发现还有一个地方可以修改得更好，原句想表达的语气，即“很不令人满意”，没有完全用英语表达出来，所以，去掉“not”，改成“by no means”，表示“绝不满意”之意，这下是不是语气更加强烈了呢？

小编的话：其实想提高作文真的很简单，比起背那些模板作文，现成的好词佳句，为什么不每天积累一个好词，一个用法来从根本上提高呢？咱不求一下子速成，咱追求的应该是融会贯通！