英语六级写作点评 Every country needs to remember
2009-04-27来源:和谐英语
Task 2: Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.
Every country needs to remember its past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Recently, there seem to be a hot-debated issue that we should remember our past of our country. Whether every country needs to remember previous history or not, as far as I am concerned, I find myself on the opinion that we must remember our past forever concerning the following aspects.
Fist of all, I take the attitude that our history is very significant. （这个主题句有点问题，历史很重要，这个太没有观点了）We own a long history country, which had been built about five thousands years and includes fifty-six ethnics, among which Han Ethnic is the biggest. Our country is formed by these great persons whose spirit make（makes） us admire. When we mention these great leaders, we can’t help thinking of Chairmen Mao who had experienced quiet a few wars and created a lot of wealth.
最好把毛泽东的全名写上，不要只用mao
Moreover, we should remember our culture（也是主题句的问题，为什么要记住呢？按照你后面论述的，应该把主题句改为：记住历史可以指导我们以后的学习工作或生活）. Our motherland had witnessed 5000 years. There is a very complex culture, which includes Kongzi and Laozi.（孔子和老子的说法不对，孔子叫做confucius，老子lao-tzu） When we give a birth, we need to learn them from our mother. And then we go to school, the teachers also teach us these knowledge which is ethic. lastly, we usually use moral of our culture to do business.
Admittedly, sometimes we needn’t remember our past, which covers a lot of pains like wars and poor, and we should forget. However, we must learn what happened in these war and we should communicate well with these countries without any hatred. According to previous poor, the whole country should study hard modern techniques and work hard for country.这段的让步有问题，你说应该忘记战争贫穷，这都是不和逻辑的说法，应该说历史中确实有一些糟粕，我们应该正确对待，加以区分。
In a nutshell, as a part of country, we should remember our previous history without discrimination and hatred. In terms of technology and economic, there is a great space to improve, comparing to other countries. We should remember our past.
Every country needs to remember its past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Recently, there seem to be a hot-debated issue that we should remember our past of our country. Whether every country needs to remember previous history or not, as far as I am concerned, I find myself on the opinion that we must remember our past forever concerning the following aspects.
Fist of all, I take the attitude that our history is very significant. （这个主题句有点问题，历史很重要，这个太没有观点了）We own a long history country, which had been built about five thousands years and includes fifty-six ethnics, among which Han Ethnic is the biggest. Our country is formed by these great persons whose spirit make（makes） us admire. When we mention these great leaders, we can’t help thinking of Chairmen Mao who had experienced quiet a few wars and created a lot of wealth.
最好把毛泽东的全名写上，不要只用mao
Moreover, we should remember our culture（也是主题句的问题，为什么要记住呢？按照你后面论述的，应该把主题句改为：记住历史可以指导我们以后的学习工作或生活）. Our motherland had witnessed 5000 years. There is a very complex culture, which includes Kongzi and Laozi.（孔子和老子的说法不对，孔子叫做confucius，老子lao-tzu） When we give a birth, we need to learn them from our mother. And then we go to school, the teachers also teach us these knowledge which is ethic. lastly, we usually use moral of our culture to do business.
Admittedly, sometimes we needn’t remember our past, which covers a lot of pains like wars and poor, and we should forget. However, we must learn what happened in these war and we should communicate well with these countries without any hatred. According to previous poor, the whole country should study hard modern techniques and work hard for country.这段的让步有问题，你说应该忘记战争贫穷，这都是不和逻辑的说法，应该说历史中确实有一些糟粕，我们应该正确对待，加以区分。
In a nutshell, as a part of country, we should remember our previous history without discrimination and hatred. In terms of technology and economic, there is a great space to improve, comparing to other countries. We should remember our past.
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