增强语句表现力的有效方法
2007-11-05来源:
一、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。
1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如：
Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)
Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)
2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。
例如：
1) Weak: The team members are good players.
Revision: The team members play well.
2) Weak: One worker’s plan is the elimination of tardiness.
Revision: One worker’s plan eliminates tardiness.
3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中，把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如：
1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.
Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.
2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered.
Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.
二、多用语意具体的动词，保持句意简洁明了。例如：
1、Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.
Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.
2、Poor: She is a careful shopper.
Better: She compares prices and quality.
三、尽量运用主动语态。例如：
1、Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.
Better: Charity has supported the organization.
2、Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.
Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如：
1、Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.
Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
2、Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.
Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.
3、Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
4、Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.
Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.
五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如：
1、Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.
Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.
2、Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.
Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.
1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如：
Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)
Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)
2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。
例如：
1) Weak: The team members are good players.
Revision: The team members play well.
2) Weak: One worker’s plan is the elimination of tardiness.
Revision: One worker’s plan eliminates tardiness.
3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中，把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如：
1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.
Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.
2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered.
Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.
二、多用语意具体的动词，保持句意简洁明了。例如：
1、Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.
Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.
2、Poor: She is a careful shopper.
Better: She compares prices and quality.
三、尽量运用主动语态。例如：
1、Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.
Better: Charity has supported the organization.
2、Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.
Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如：
1、Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.
Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
2、Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.
Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.
3、Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
4、Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.
Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.
五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如：
1、Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.
Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.
2、Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.
Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.
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