英语小故事第110期：Flower Power

Ted Nugent was in love. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in love with his wife. He was in love with his girlfriend. He had met Lauren at a car show. She was one of the pretty models who gave sales pitches extolling the wonders of the new cars. To impress her, Ted promised that he would buy a new Mercedes if she would go out with him. She said yes, and one thing led to another.

Ted’s wife, Stephanie, wondered why Ted bought the new car, since he had just bought a new Cadillac two years ago. Because Stephanie liked the Cadillac so much, Ted said, it was now hers. He had bought the Mercedes for himself. Ted started staying late “at the office.” He told Stephanie that he had to work extra hours to help pay for the Mercedes. She didn’t mind—she was enjoying her Cadillac.

When Lauren’s birthday rolled around, Ted called up 1-800-Blossom and sent her three dozen roses. To ensure that the transaction would be private, he put it on his business credit card. Even though Ted had to give his home phone and address, the Blossom representative promised that no paperwork would go to Ted's home.

A week later, Stephanie greeted the mailman at the mailbox. He handed her the mail, including an envelope marked “Thank You, 1-800-Blossom.” Stephanie was curious. It wasn’t her birthday, or Valentine’s Day, or their anniversary. Why on earth had Ted ordered flowers? Opening the envelope, she hoped she wasn’t going to ruin a surprise from her husband. The enclosed letter thanked Ted for his order of three dozen roses. The letter even included the note that went with the flowers: “My darling Lauren: These roses aren’t half as pretty as you are.” The letter offered a 10-percent discount on Ted’s next order.

When Ted got home late that night, he found an angry note on the door explaining why all the locks had been changed. Four weeks later, Ted sued 1-800-Blossom for ruining his marriage.