英语小故事第112期：Man Holds Staff Hostage

Morgan Cohen walked into the campaign office for Hillary Clinton. He claimed to have a bomb strapped onto him. He told the five workers to go about their business, but he ordered them not to try to leave. “If one of you tries to leave,” he said, “I will kill myself along with the others.” Then he walked over to a desk and asked for Hillary’s phone number. Hillary was in Iowa, talking to voters about her plan to provide national health care for everyone in America.

None of the workers had her cell phone number. Upset, Morgan dialed 911. He told the dispatcher that if they didn’t give him Hillary’s phone number immediately, he would blow up her campaign office and everyone in it. The dispatcher asked him to please hold on while he tried to get the number. Police and the FBI drove over to the office and surrounded it.

The dispatcher gave Morgan the correct phone number. He dialed it, and Hillary answered her phone. Morgan explained to her that he was not getting the medical treatment that he needed. Every time he went to visit his doctor, his doctor was out to lunch--even at 10 in the morning and 4 in the afternoon. “How can my doctor eat lunch all day long?” he asked Hillary. Hillary said she didn’t know, but that she would try to get a law passed forbidding doctors to have all-day lunches.

Morgan continued talking to Hillary until he noticed the police car lights outside the building. He hung up and walked to the front door of the building. A police captain asked Morgan to release all the hostages. Morgan said he would release them if the police brought him a cigarette and a Whopper from Burger King. A short while later, while Morgan was eating the Whopper, the police rushed in and tackled him. His “bomb” was nothing more than a few flares taped to his waist under his jacket.

Morgan, who lived in a nearby town, was known for his strange behavior. He had been under psychiatric care for much of his life. FBI officials were outraged that Morgan had interrupted a busy presidential candidate. A spokesman vowed that Morgan would be thrown into jail for a long time for kidnapping, reckless endangerment, and terrorism. “Mental illness is no excuse,” he declared. “This is a nation of laws, not excuses.”