与外国人见面 该不该拥抱?

As trends go, this hugging thing seems pretty innocent, but not everyone's happy with it. AP

THEY might be relatives, best friends, a pair of lovebirds or casual acquaintances who barely know each other. These days, it doesn't seem to matter.

The New York Times recently reported that American teens are hugging practically everyone they see. Say goodbye to the greetings of the past, from the hands-off "What's up!" to the handshake or high-five. For young people across the country, hugging is the new "Hello".

Girls are hugging girls. Boys are hugging boys. Girls and boys are hugging each other. And, like every major trend, there are lots of variations on the form. There's the classic, full-body, arms-around-the-person bear hug, the casual one-armed side hug, the group hug and the hug from behind. There's the handshake that turns into a hug and the hug that turns into a pat on the back.

As trends go, this one seems pretty innocent. But some parents, teachers and school administrators are worried nonetheless. Will young people who aren't as comfortable with physical contact feel peer pressured into hugging? Will kids who don't receive hugs feel left out? Could an extra-long hug slide into the more ominous territory of sexual harassment?

In response to some of these concerns, some schools have set up new rules to limit or eliminatehugging. One school head has created a three-second limitation for hugs at her school. A few schools have taken even more drastic measures, placing a ban on all forms of touching between students.

A few important points are being left out of the discussion. While the US has traditionally been reserved about touching – saving hugs and kisses for relatives, romantic partners and very close friends – people in many other parts of the world have been greeting each other this way for ages.

In Latin America or Western Europe, in countries like Spain, France, and Italy, a kiss on the cheek is common among women, as well as among women and men who are not romantically involved. The cheek-kiss varies by region. Sometimes it is just an air kiss blown past the face. In other places, the proper way of greeting is to deliver a kiss upon both cheeks, or sometimes even a triplet of kisses performed by kissing one cheek, then the other, then back to the first.

I lived in Ecuador for six months as an exchange student, and was a bit taken aback to learn that, in addition to kissing all my fellow students and their friends, I was also expected to kiss my new boss on the first day I met her! This is the norm there, and most women don't think twice about leaning over to give or receive a kiss when they are introduced to someone new.

Latin American men are more likely to shake hands when greeting other men, but in some countries like Turkey, it's not unusual for men who know each other well to exchange kisses on the cheek. Meanwhile, for the Maori people of New Zealand, a traditional greeting called the "hongi" involves pressing noses together.

So, from a global perspective, the new trend of teen hugging in America is not so "new" after all. People all around the world move in close to say hello, and Americans are just now joining in.

There's yet another point to consider: For as long as there have been kids and parents, kids have embraced new trends and lifestyles that have shocked or confused their parents. Parents and teachers who are now trying to grapple with the "hugging issue" should remember that when they were kids, they too found new ways of relating to each other that concerned or confused their parents. Every generation represents a step away from the previous one. This generation's teens are hugging. Who knows what the next generation will do?

Try the handshake first

AMERICAN teens may be hugging each other more, but that doesn't mean everyone expects to join the hug-fest. While it's normal in some countries to hug or kiss total strangers when first meeting them, it's still quite unusual in the US and UK. A simple handshake and "Nice to meet you" will work just fine. This rule holds true no matter what the age of the person you're greeting is, with a few exceptions. You aren't required to shake hands with a very young child, of course. A wave and a smile are more than enough. Sometimes, younger people greet their elders with a kiss on the cheek as a sign of respect. Your best bet is to rely on the handshake first, and go along with what others do if the greeting seems more involved.

英语词汇解析

embrace接受

drastic激烈的

Ecuador 厄瓜多尔

fest 以一种特殊的活动为特征的聚会

hug 拥抱

ominous不祥的

triplet 三个一组

BONUS

be taken aback

惊讶

She barely knows him, so when he gave her that lovely purse, she was really taken aback.

她跟他一点儿都不熟，所以当他送给她那个好看的皮夹时，她非常吃惊。

grapple with

纠结

She had to grapple with her homosexuality for years until she couldn't keep it bottled up and decided to come out.

她为自己的同性恋倾向纠结了很久，最后她决定出柜不再隐瞒。

slide into

不知不觉地陷入

After his wife left him, he found himself gradually sliding into alcoholism.

妻子离开他之后，他发现自己不知不觉地成了一个酗酒者。