社会网站会导致婚姻不忠诚?

FOR most people, Facebook is a harmless way to keep in touch with friends and family. But flirtations on the social networking site are now becoming a factor in marriage breakdowns. One online law firm says 20 per cent of their divorce petitions in the past year contain references to Facebook.

对大多数人来说Facebook 这类SNS社区是一个维护朋友关系最棒的地方。你可以在上面分享最近的感受、旅游照片、看到的新鲜事。可是知道吗？有时候在这些社交网上瞎暧昧的调情却有可能造成现实生活中真的婚姻破裂，因为社交网站经常导致婚姻不忠诚情况出现。另外还有不少夫妻将通过Facebook找到的配偶出轨信息当作提出离婚的证据。

Mark Keenan, from divorce-online.com, says: "A lot of people found things out about their partner on Facebook. "The most common thing seems to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they are not really supposed to." With lawyers predicting that divorce-related enquiries will rise by 25 per cent this month compared to January 2009, here ELLIE WHITE speaks to two women whose marriages collapsed because of Facebook.

来自英国的一个律师事务所的介绍，他们处理的离婚案件中，有20%都是因为Facebook 而出问题分道扬镳。不过这并不能说明Facebook 魅力无敌，让人沉迷其中都不惜抛弃爱人了。而是说，现在的夫妻对婚姻缺乏信任感，以至于常常查看对方Facebook网页，直到从Facebook 某些暧昧调情留言中，认定对方有出轨，从而婚姻走向破裂。

Some names have been changed.

本文主人公使用化名

Case study 1
案例1：

MARIANNA GINI, 32, a housing support worker, lives in London with her son Adam, eight. She was married for six years before she found out through Facebook that her husband Robert, 34, was having an affair.

They divorced in June 2008. She says: "A relative of my husband's mistress contacted me on Facebook and told me he was having an affair. I had suspected him for some time because whenever I looked at his profile page there were messages on there from women I had never seen or heard of. I knew he was having an affair because when I look at his Facebook page, there were messages from girls I've never heard of. But Robert works as a pastor and is a religious man, so when I confronted him about the messages and he told me I had nothing to worry about, I believed him. He was spending a lot of time in Brazil at the time, for work, and said the posts were from members of his church community there - women who needed his spiritual help. I admit I was jealous - and suspicious - but he was my husband and I trusted him. The posts kept appearing and I was mortified. I felt like I was being made a fool of. I also knew that there could be many messages he was receiving that I couldn't see. Then, in September 2006, I received an email from the sister-in-law of a woman he was having an affair with. I couldn't believe she had contacted me - but she said she thought I needed to know. I was very upset, but also relieved. Again, I confronted him. He couldn't deny it any more. So I told him I wanted a divorce. I was happy to be out of the marriage and away from the stress and unhappiness. I hate to think what would have happened if Facebook hadn't alerted me. It is a horrible way to find out that your marriage is a lie. But I'm glad I found out - it could have gone on for years without me knowing."

32岁的母亲MARIANNA GINI 目前和她8岁的儿子单独生活在一起，她和丈夫是在2008年离婚的，起因便是她在Facebook 上看到自己34岁的丈夫与其他女人有了外遇。MARIANNA 说“那个‘第三者’在Facebook 上加了我为好友，并告诉了一切实情。其实才开始我也有怀疑丈夫，因为总是在丈夫的Facebook 上看到该人的身影之后，不过我并没有想到当事人会主动加我好友告诉我一切。我听过后，相当的难过和失望。当我把这一切告诉丈夫时，他仍旧在继续对我进行欺骗，于是我和他离婚了。” MARIANNA 还说，如果没有Facebook 告诉我这一切，我还不知道自己要被欺骗到何时。

Case study 2
案例2：

SARAH PICKET, 36, is a housewife from Oldham.

The mum of three was married to taxi driver Chris, also 36, for eight years, until her Facebook flirtations led to their split. She says: "TWO years ago I started on Facebook and was soon addicted. I loved tracing people I had lost touch with. Then ex-boyfriends started to find me. Karl was a guy I'd dated for two years. He still looked lovely and soon we were flirting. I told my husband my password - I had nothing to hide. But I didn't think he'd start looking at my messages. One from Karl joked about a time we'd been caught snogging round the back of a nightclub. Chris read it and went mad. I changed my password and he accused me of keeping secrets. Within months we were having explosive rows. But I couldn't stay away from Facebook. As soon as I dropped the kids off at school I'd be on it and when the kids were in bed I'd be on it again, sometimes until the early hours. Chris was very jealous and convinced I was having an affair. I wasn't but I was flirting a lot. It came to a head a year ago. I was out with my girlfriends and I kept spotting his taxi outside bars I was drinking in. He was following me. That's when I realised all the trust had gone out of my relationship. I confronted him and we had a blazing row in the street. I told him he should move out.

36岁的家庭主妇SARAH PICKET，2年前迷上了Facebook ，并在上面与自己的前任男友有了联系。“他看上去还像以前一样可爱，很快我们就开始调情了。”SARAH说，“起初，我认为这不是什么秘密也没有什么隐私，就把Facebook的密码告诉了丈夫。但我认为他并不会去真的查看我的邮件。不过事实证明我错了，丈夫真的看了那些调情邮件，并郑重其事的警告了我。我立马修改了密码，不过得来的却是丈夫更多的怀疑，于是问题便在这样一点一点的怀疑中爆发了。我当时仍旧非常沉迷Facebook，严重的时候甚至忘记了生病的孩子，而丈夫则彻底的认为我有了外遇，虽然仅仅是在网络上。我们之间已经缺乏了最基本的信任，丈夫甚至跟踪我到酒吧，还以为我真的有出什么事情呐……”

That was a year ago and we're now getting divorced. I'm single and enjoying my freedom... and I can go on Facebook without being hassled."
CHRIS SAYS: "Facebook wrecked our marriage. I didn't like her flirting. She wouldn't like me doing it so why should she? After what has happened, I don't go on networking sites. I hate them."

SARAH 最后说道“现在好了,离婚一年了，我单身了，再也没人打扰我玩Facebook了。” 她丈夫说：“Facebook已经毁了我的婚姻。我不喜欢她和别人调情——她也不会喜欢我这样，可她为什么还是坚持如此？”“自从事情发生之后，我就再也不上这类网站了！恨透他们了！”

Couldn't keep away ... Sarah loves Facebook
SARAH 直到现在依然非常热衷于上Facebook，她离不开它了。