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有人插队的时候你就应该这样

2010-10-21来源:和谐英语

You are standing in line for 20 minutes, when suddenly someone cuts in front of you. what do you do? Do you say anything?

你排队排了二十分钟,这时候突然有人插队!这是多么让人崩溃的一件事!你咋办?你要跟他说点啥?

 应对方案1.

I use avada kedavra on them

我咒死他们。(avada kedavra 是哈利波特中的索命咒……你太狠了,做人要宽容啊!)

应对方案2.

I wait until were almost at the register .......... then I cut in front of that person !! If he/she says anything , I give`em the "finger" !!

先隐忍不动,然后等快到柜台了,抓住时机抢回地盘!他们敢说半个字,我就竖中指!
(君子报仇十年不晚么……无需语言直接鄙视死插队者,有腔调!)

应对方案3.

I once heard a funny story from a young, female radio show host about someone cutting her in line at a beauty counter. Basically, a lady (probably age 45) picked up jars of facial products and cut the girl in a long line that she was in. This girl stared with slight anger at the lady until the lady stared back and asked "what are you looking at?!". The young girl then said loudly so that everyone in the line could hear: "Oh, nothing, I just wanted to see what products you're using! I want to look nice like you when I'm 60 too!".

我听过一个故事,说的是一个45岁的大妈拿了一堆护肤品,结账的时候插到一个女孩子前面。女孩子啥都没说就只盯着大妈看,大妈被看得不自在了,问小姑娘你看啥看?女孩子用在场所有人都听得到的音量吼出来一句:没啥,就想看看你买的护肤品都是什么牌子的,我也想跟你似的,六十岁了还这么不显老!
(此种毒舌境界乃是吾辈的奋斗目标!!)

应对方案4. 剧场版 “如何杜绝插队之不文明现象”主题表演
ME = M
PERSON WHO CUTS IN LINE = P

M: ''Ummm.. dude you can't just cut in line like that''

我:额,兄弟,你插队这样是不行的。

P:" So, you're not the boss of me"

插队那货:你是我老大啊唧唧歪歪的!

M:"You best go at the end of the line"

我:你最好回头乖乖排队去。

P:"What if I don't want to?"

插队那货:不去,你能咋地!

M:"Then FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FALCON KICK"
**DOUBLE FALCON KICK TO THE FACE**

我:那我就不客气了。(飞起一脚,踢的就是脸!)

P:"OH ... MY GOD DUDE U CRAZY"

插队那货:哇!你神经啊你!

M:"GO TO THE END OF THE LINE OR I'LL RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB LIKE WOLVERINE"

我:回去排队!不然我卸了你!

P:"OH GOD!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

插队那货:神啊上帝啊基督爷爷啊!!救命啊!!!!啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!!!

M"And that's how you do that"
*Large Applause *

我(面向观众):您瞅准了,就得这样!
(掌声雷动)