为什么我们要学会宽容?

Research and personal observations showthatthe person who forgives is happier and perhaps even healthier. While thegoalof forgiving may be noble, the effects are concrete.

研究和个人观察表明，宽容待人不仅让人们感到更幸福快乐，或许还可以让人们变得更加健康。虽然我们宽容可能仅仅是为了显得高尚，但这带来的效果确实实实在在的。

Richard Fitzgibbons cites these benefitstothe one who forgives:

Richard Fitzgibbons提到以下这些宽容待人获得的好处：

·decreased levels ofanger and hostility;

·更好地缓解愤怒和敌意；

·increased feelingsof love;

·更好地感受爱与被爱；

·improved ability tocontrol anger;

·更好地控制怒火；

·enhanced capacity totrust;

·更好地相信别人；

·freedom from thecontrol of events of the past;

·更好地走出过去的阴影；

·no longer repeatingnegative behaviors;

·更好地避免重蹈覆辙；

·improved physicalhealth;

·更好地提高身体健康水平；

·significantimprovement in psychiatric disorders;

·更好地改善精神紊乱；

On the other hand, one who cannot forgivemaycontinue to suffer endlessly.

反而言之，一个不懂宽容的人或许会不断在无尽的痛苦中煎熬。

"The man who opts for revenge shoulddigtwo graves."
Chinese proverb

中国有句谚语——“寻仇之人须存玉碎之心”。

From the work of Roy F. Baumeister,JulieJuola Exline, and Krisin L. Sommer come these findings: There is anemotionalcost of refusing to forgive. If the perpetrator is someone the injuredpartymust continue to see, each contact with the offender will cause the victimtofeel upset again. Continuing to feel angry toward distant or deadperpetrators,over transgressions that cannot be changed, does nothing but makethe injuredparty miserable. Forgiveness would release the victim, and would bea welcomerelief.

Roy F. Baumeister、Julie Juola Exline和KrisinL. Sommer的研究发现：对他人的不宽容需要付出情感代价。如果被伤害的一方不得不继续和犯错的人打交道，那么每一次与之联系都会让被伤害者感到心烦意乱。而如果犯错者不再联系或已经故去，那么对那些已经发生而无法改变的错误无法释怀只会让人更痛苦。对他人宽容不仅可以减轻自己的伤痛，也会让他人感到欣慰和慰藉。