如何跟你讨厌的人打交道

　　第五招：及时灭火

　　The worst thing you can do with an angry or irrational person is engage him or her. In the heat of aggression, any word or action interpreted as aggressive in response will only trigger more aggression – and most of the item, if someone is upset and railing about it, every word and action will be read as aggression. As hard as it might seem to do, the best thing is to sit quietly and let them spend themselves ranting and raving, and then ask if they’d like to schedule a time to discuss the matter more calmly and return to whatever you were doing. If this sets off another round of yelling, simply wait it out and repeat。

　　面对一个怒发冲冠的人，“和他计较”是最糟糕的做法。在这种时候，任何不当的言行都很可能会火上浇油——即使是正常的举止，在愤怒的人眼中也会被误读。遇到这种情况，最好的办法是安静地坐下来，等他们宣泄完怒气，然后问道：“您愿意先冷静一下，然后挑个时间，让我们来讨论一下XX问题吗？”假如你话音刚落，对方又开始大发雷霆——没关系，保持淡定，再试一次。

　　6. Close the door。

　　第六招：拒绝干扰

　　While you may have to interact with people you don’t care for in any number of situations, remember that your time is your own and don’t let other people, especially ones you’d rather not interact with, take control of your time. Communication outside of the narrow band needed to fulfill both of your objectives should be minimized – which often means forcefully limiting such talk. Make it clear when you are unavailable, and make yourself unavailable as often as possible. If you have the power, require that your partner make an appointment, and gently reject any effort to discuss your work or projects outside of that scheduled time. People – even annoying people – tend to respect the time of people who make a clear showing that they take their own time very seriously。

　　当你不得不和讨厌的人共事时，记住：时间是自己的，别让任何人掌控，尤其是那些你讨厌的。唠家常之类的闲聊要严格杜绝。没空聊就是没空聊——让自己尽可能地保持“没空”状态吧。有可能的话，和对方事先约好谈话时间，并礼貌地拒绝任何“计划外”的干扰。每个人(极品们也不例外)都会尊重认真计划时间的人。

　　7. You’re valuable. Remember it。

　　第七招：你是有价值的，记住这点。

　　If you’ve found yourself in a position where you are obligated for some reason to spend time with someone you dislike, remember that most likely, they are in the same position – and it’s you they dislike. But you wouldn’t be in that situation if you didn’t provide something of value – whether that’s a work skill or talent, specialized knowledge, even things as abstract as emotional support or solidarity. You have a mission, so to speak, and everything that distracts you from that mission reduces your value。

　　当你不得不和讨厌的人打交道时，没关系，记住——人家也有同样的感觉，因为讨厌是相互的。但要记住：如果你之前没体现出自己的价值，你就连这打交道的机会都得不到。不管这价值指的是某种工作技能、天份、专业知识、抑或是抽象的情感支持、或凝聚力等。你是具有使命的。任何阻挠你完成使命的事物，都会降低你的价值。

　　People that are annoying, difficult, selfish, boring, or otherwise a chore to deal with are that way for reasons that have nothing to do with you – it’s not your job to fix, engage with, or indulge those tendencies. Don’t worry abut figuring them out or correcting them, worry instead about how you’re going to manage their annoyances without letting it hinder your ability to achieve your own goals. What is your place is to take the control the other person has clearly relinquished, and making sure you get out of the contact what you need. The tips above will help。

　　无论有的人多么讨厌、难以相处、自私、无趣、或难缠，让他们去，这些都与你无关。你的职责不是去改变别人的缺点，相反，你该考虑的是：如何在从容应对这些烦恼的同时，不影响自己目标的达成。你该做的，是把握住对方已经放弃的控制权，保证自己能从这样不算愉快的接触中得取所需。相信以上几招会对你有帮助。