三十而立太晚了：为什么说二十几岁才是人生的关键

BT: How do you suggest they track their progress toward their future goals? Are milestones like 21 and 30 important?
BT：您是如何建议他们朝着未来目标不断进步的？21和30岁这样的里程碑时刻是不是特别重要？

MJ: Absolutely. Milestones--21, 25, 30, New Year's, birthdays, reunions--are important because they trigger self-reflection. Am I where I wanted to be by this age? Did I do what I said I would do this year? If not, why not. And if not now, when? A savvy 20something who interviewed me recently told me about a question she was advised to ask herself as she moved through adulthood: "If you keep living your life exactly as it is, where will you be in 3 years?" If you don't like the answer, now is the time to change course.
MJ：没错。21岁、25岁、30岁、新年、生日、团聚日——这些都是里程碑时刻，因为它们能促人反思。到了这个年纪，我有没有处在自己想处的位置？我年初的计划完成了没？如果没完成，原因又是什么？如果现在不完成，那么什么时候可以完成？最近有个很有悟性的、20出头的女孩采访我，她告诉我，有人建议她在这几年中反复扪心自问：“如果你保持着今天的生活状态，3年后的你会是什么样子？” 如果得到的答案并不是你所喜欢的，那么现在就是洗心革面的时候。

One way to keep yourself honest about the future is by making a timeline. At what age would I like to be out of this dead-end job? By when do I hope to be married? How old do I want to be when I try for my first child? It may not be cool to have a timeline, or to admit to having a timeline, but you don't have to etch it in stone. It's just a way of thinking about how your life might, or might not, be adding up.
让自己诚实面对未来的方法之一是制定一个时间表。什么时候我才能跳出这份没前途的工作？我打算什么时候结婚？我打算几岁时要第一个孩子？虽然定计划这事儿听上去不是很酷，但是，你又没必要把它刻在石头上啊。这不过是种帮助你计划未来人生的方式。

BT: About 25% of recent grads are unemployed, and 25% are underemployed. What is your advice for those who simply can't find a job?
BT：应届毕业生有25%找不到工作，还有25%的人做着大材小用的工作。你对于那些找不到工作的人有什么建议？

MJ: Yes, half of 20somethings are un- or underemployed. But half aren't, so my first piece of advice is to figure out how to get yourself into that group. Most often, the way to do this is through what is called "the strength of weak ties." The strength of weak ties is from sociologist Mark Granovetter's work on social networks. What he found was that new information and opportunities usually come from outside of our inner circle. That foot-in-the-door at the company where you want to work isn't going to come from your best friends--your strong ties--or you would already be working there. That job lead is going to come from weak ties, or from people you hardly know. Email your aunt's neighbor or that old professor or your roommate's friend from college.
MJ：没错，大约一半的20出头年轻人不是找不到工作，就是找不到称心如意的。但也有一半的人找到了。所以，我第一个建议是：想想自己怎么能从这一半跳到那一半的梯队中。通常来讲，要实现这一点，“弱关系的力量”很重要。所谓的“弱关系”是社会学家Mark Granovetter在研究社交网络时提出来的。他发现最新的信息和机会往往来自那些你最亲密人以外的圈子里。假如你想去某家公司工作，这个职业机会绝对不会来自你的挚友（即强关系），否则你早就进去工作了不是么。这个工作机会很可能来自弱关系，或者来自那些你几乎不认识的人。所以，给你大姨的邻居、学校里的老教授、或是大学室友的朋友发个邮件吧，说不定你就得到这份工作了。

That's how people are getting jobs--especially good jobs--even in a tough economy. Most 20somethings hate the idea of asking outsiders for favors, but those who won't do this fall behind those who will. 20somethings who sit on the sidelines because of a bad economy will never catch up with those who figured out how to get in the game.
工作就要这样去找，尤其是好工作。即使在经济不景气的情况下，也能找得到。很多20出头的年轻人不喜欢向不熟的人求助，于是他们便被那些愿意求助的同龄人甩在了后面，因为坐以待毙是永远也追不上积极进取的脚步的。

For those 20somethings who already have jobs but who are underemployed, it is crucial to remember that not all underemployment is the same. Be sure you have a job that is allowing you to earn some form of identity capital. Maybe you have a low-rung job at a hot company that adds value to your resume. Whatever you're doing should make the next thing you'd like to try seem more possible.
对于那些虽然找到了工作，但并不满意的年轻人，你们需要记住一点，那就是并非所有的不充分就业都是一样的。要确保你自己在干的是一份能为你挣得身份资本的工作。比如，你在一家炙手可热的公司虽然做着打杂的活儿，但它能给你简历添金。所以，你现在做的任何一件事，都应该是在为你的梦想铺路。

BT: How can 20somethings reclaim their status as adults given all the cultural trends working against them?
BT：如何让20多岁的年轻人在文化趋势相悖的情况下，重新塑造他们的成年人身份形象呢？

MJ: Don't let culture trivialize your life and work and relationships. Don't hang out only with people who are drinking the 30-is-the-new-20 kool-aid. I cannot tell you how many emails I have received from 30somethings since The Defining Decade came out, ones in which the writer says something like, "I used to roll my eyes at my peers who were determined to meet benchmarks--graduate school, real relationships, decent-paying jobs that reflect their interests--on time or early. Now I'm envious and admiring of them. Now I'm working twice as hard for half the result." Don't shrug your shoulders and say, "I'm in my 20s. What I'm doing doesn't count." Recognize that what you do, and what you don't do, will have an enormous impact across years and even generations. You're deciding your life right now.
MJ：别让这些文化趋势把你的生活、工作和情感变得无聊琐碎。不和那些鼓吹“在新世纪30岁就等于从前的20岁”这类言论的人交朋友。当《决定性的十年》一书出版后，我收到过无数封来自30岁人的email，其中一封信中说道：“以前，我总是对那些努力完成计划的人翻白眼。他们有的在准备读研、有的准备结婚、有的想找自己感兴趣同时又体面的工作……最终都及时甚至是超前地完成了他们的目标。而如今的我又嫉妒又佩服他们，只能用两倍的努力，却只能换来他们已拥有东西的一半。” 千万别耸耸肩无所谓洒脱地说：“我才20出头，做什么都是徒劳。” 区分什么该做、什么不该做能对你的人生、甚至你后代的人生产生巨大的影响。你的人生，要由你自己决定。