孩子的自制力决定未来成功与否

Of course, not all 4-year-olds are ready to manage that, so the classroom is loaded with cues and clues to help the preschoolers make their own decisions and be responsible.
当然，并非所有4岁的孩子都能够做到这些，所以教室里到处是帮助学龄前儿童作出自己的决定并负责的暗示和线索。

Liya Pomfret and Rowan Miller demonstrate how they use the "solutions kit" to resolve conflicts.

丽雅·庞弗雷特及罗文·米勒展示了他们如何使用“解决方案工具包”来解决冲突。
 
A series of seven photos over the sink shows the correct sequence for hand washing. A "solutions kit" poster shows techniques the children can use to resolve disagreements themselves, like sharing or playing with another toy. The two teachers give the children multiple cues when it's time to clean up: Lights flash, a bell rings and the children clap and count to 100. That makes it easier to switch gears without a meltdown.
水槽底一系列的七张照片显示了洗手的正确顺序。一个“解决方案工具包”海报显示了孩子可以利用它独立解决分歧的技巧，比如与他人分享或者玩其他玩具。到打扫的时间的时候，两位老师会给孩子们多个提示：闪灯、铃声、孩子们鼓掌并数到100。这使得变换活动更容易，而且不会乱套。1

If a child has problems with self-management, the teachers make a customized "visual cue" card, with photos of the four play choices in the room, to make the decision easier.
如果孩子不能自我管理，老师在房间里挂上四种游戏选择做的照片作为特定的“视觉提示”牌帮助他们更容易地做出决定。

And teachers Cathie Morton and Daniela Capbert don't just supervise — they're in the thick of the children's play so that when the inevitable conflicts arise, they can redirect the children into other activities or help them talk through their feelings.
像凯西·莫顿和丹尼拉·凯普贝尔特不只是监督——他们也会参与到儿童游戏中，当不可避免的冲突发生时，他们可以让孩子们做其他活动，或帮助孩子通过交谈交流感受。

When things do go wrong, there are consequences. Timeouts and apologies don't mean much to children at this age, Owen says, so the teachers try to match consequences to the deed. When one of the children accidentally knocks over a 2-foot-tall tower of blocks that several children had spent half the morning building, the teachers ask the builders what should happen next. "Help fix it," one boy says. And, with a little prompting from the adults, they all pitch in and rebuild.
事情做错了，必然会有后果。罚坐冷板凳和道歉对这个年龄段的儿童并不是很重要，欧文说，因此老师会尝试匹配行为后果。当一个孩子意外地碰倒几个孩子花了半个上午才搭建的两英尺高的积木时，老师问搭积木的孩子们下一步会发生什么。“帮助修复它，”一个男孩说。而且，成人给他们一些鼓励后，孩子们都开始加入重新搭建。2
 
Self-Control At Home
在家自制

Parents can help their children learn self-control. Mary Alvord is a clinical psychologist in Silver Spring, Md., whose new book, Resilience Builder Program for Children and Adolescents, teaches self-control strategies. Take small steps, she says. For example, preschoolers can learn that they don't always get what they want immediately; they may need to wait for that treat.
家长可以帮助孩子学会自我控制。玛丽·阿尔沃德马里兰州银泉的一位临床心理医生，她的新书《儿童和青少年韧性培养计划》教导自我控制策略。采取小步骤，她说，例如，幼儿可以知道他们并不总是立即就能得到想要的东西，他们可能需要等待饭菜。

"I call it Grandma's rule," Alvord says. "No dessert until you finish your dinner."
“我称之为奶奶的法则，”阿尔沃德说，“用完晚餐前不会有甜点。”

Parents can help teenagers learn self-control by making sure the family has clear rules for things like curfew or finishing homework before they have screen time. Teenager who have problems with impulsivity may benefit from special driving classes that let them practice controlling the car in difficult conditions on a racetrack. For all teens, clear rules such as curfews help them regulate themselves.
通过确定家庭对某些事有明确的规定，比如宵禁令或者完成作业后才能看电视，父母可以帮助青少年学习自我控制。那些容易冲动的少年有可能会受益于特殊驾驶课程，让他们练习在困难的条件下控制赛道上的车。对于所有的青少年来说，像宵禁这样明确的规定可以帮助他们自律。

Though self-control can be improved throughout life, Moffitt says the earlier children can learn these skills of self-discipline and perseverance, the better. "The later you wait in life to try to learn self-control skills, the more problems you have to reverse and overcome."
虽然自制能力的学习提高贯穿于整个人生，莫菲特说，儿童学习自律和毅力的技巧越早越好。“在生活中尝试学习自我控制能力拖得越晚，要扭转和克服的问题越多。”

All the more reason to start picking up blocks when you're very young.
所以，在你还小时，更要捡起那积木。