还在跟那些糟糕的朋友浪费时间？真朋友的五大特质

As we go through life, we have the opportunity to meet a variety of different people. Some become casual acquaintances who we just smile and wave at when we see them and others don’t merit a second thought after they walk out the door, but a select few will make it into the inner circle and become friends.
我们这一生总会遇到各种各样的人：有些只是泛泛之交，仅限于微笑打招呼；有些转头就会被我们忘得一干二净；而有那么一些人，最后却能成为我们的知心密友。

There are different types of friends, however, and it often takes a while to determine whether the person you enjoy spending time with is a true friend or not. Sure, it’s great to get to know new people, and you might really enjoy hanging out with a particular group on weekends, but how do you feel when you’re around them? Do they elevate your spirits, or put you down? Would the person you go clubbing with on Friday nights come and visit you if you were really sick? What about bailing you out of jail? Would they come with you to break terrible news to your family, or be willing to go for a picnic in the middle of the night just because?
当然，朋友也分很多种。有些人相处起来很愉快，但是否是真朋友就不得而知了。虽然利用周末不断结识新朋友也很有意思，但当身边尽是些点头之交时，你又会怎么想呢？这些人会影响你的喜怒哀乐吗？这些和你在周五晚上一定逛夜店的朋友，会在你生病的时候过来看你吗？你万一蹲了监狱，他们会保释你吗？当你家里发生不幸，他们会伸出援手吗？或者，看在朋友的份上，他们愿意半夜跟你去野炊吗？

Let’s take a look at a few traits of solid, amazing friends.
让我们来看下真正可靠的好朋友都有哪些特质吧！

1. The Ability to Listen
乐于倾听

“A friend asks, ‘Tell me one word which is significant in any kinds of relationship.’ Another friend says, ‘LISTEN!’” – Santosh Kalwar
“某个朋友问，‘用一个词告诉我所有关系中最重要的是什么？’另一个朋友回答：‘倾听！’”——桑托什·卡尔瓦

When we communicate with other people, we can usually tell whether they’re listening to us, or just waiting to speak. Their body language speaks volumes about whether they actually care about what we’re saying. If they interrupt us, text to other people while you’re talking, change the subject, or turn the conversation back to something about them, then they aren’t really paying attention, are they?
与人沟通时，我们一般能判断出对方是否真在倾听，还是只是自己在等着要说话。通过观察他们的肢体语言，我们就能看出他们是不是真的在意我们所说的话。如果他们随意打断你、在一边跟别人发短信、改变话题或把话题引到自己身上，那么，他们并没有真的倾听，不是吗？

A true friend will focus entirely on you and actually hear what it is you’re saying. If you need to just rant away about a shitty situation, they’ll shut up and let you vent. If you need advice, they’ll listen to what you need, repeat back to you some key points to ensure they got all the information, and then give you some tips and pointers. Whether you’re heartbroken, elated, or just in need of a sympathetic ear, you can be sure that when you’re talking, your words are being heard.
真朋友能全神贯注倾听你的一字一句。如果你呱啦呱啦抱怨不停，他们会默默任你发泄；如果你征求意见，他们会倾听你的需求，跟你互动讲话重点，然后再给出建议。不管你是难过、开心还是需要同情，只要讲出来，真朋友肯定会听到心里去的。

2. Honesty/Sincerity
诚实真诚

“We are all travellers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
“我们都是大千世界里的过客，旅途中最重要的莫过于忠诚的朋友。”——罗伯特·路易斯·史蒂文森

If you upset an acquaintance by saying or doing something unpleasant, they’ll likely just pretend it never happened and then bitch about you to everyone else behind your back. A true friend will call you on your behaviour and let you know that it was hurtful/upsetting/offensive because your relationship is important to them and they want to ensure that all snags are worked through. An acquaintance will pretend that everything’s okay and then whines about you to anyone who’ll listen doesn’t care about ensuring that everything’s okay. You’re replaceable to them, and if they don’t smooth things out with you, they can just hang out with somebody else from now on.
如果你说了或做了什么让泛泛之交难堪的事，他们只会装作没事一样，然后在背后把你黑得一塌糊涂。而真朋友却会坦白告诉你他受伤了，觉得很生气很难过，因为他很看重你们的友情，希望所有不愉快都能化解。泛泛之交表面装作一切都很好，背后却逢人就大倒苦水说你不是。对泛泛之交来说，你是可有可无的，如果跟你处不来，他可以立马找其他人。