别学布林！办公室恋情是高风险游戏

No. 1: Avoid a supervisor-supervisee relationship.
首先是避免在上下级之间发展恋情。

Especially for the person in the supervisor’s seat, such a relationship is “criminally stupid,” says McKenna. “You might as well put a sign on your forehead that says, ‘Kick me here.’” McKenna acts mainly as a defense lawyer. In Brin’s case it’s not clear he broke this rule, given that he’s outside the company and doesn’t officially supervise his new romantic partner.
尤其对处在上级位置上的那个人来说，这样的关系“非常愚蠢可能招惹上官司”，麦凯纳说道。她说，“这无异于在脑门上贴了一个标志，上面写着‘朝这儿踢’。”麦凯纳主要做被告方的辩护律师。就布林的情况而言，考虑到他不在公司内部，在职务上没有与新恋人形成上下级关系，因此尚不清楚他是否违反了该规则。

Still Edward Hernstadt, a plaintiff-side employment lawyer in New York, agrees with McKenna. An employee can make a claim that she (it’s usually a she) wouldn’t have dated the boss if she hadn’t felt compelled. “The supervisor will say, ‘I just asked you to go on a date,’” says Hernstadt. “But the subordinate will say, ‘I felt I couldn’t say no.’”
然而，纽约原告方劳动法律师爱德华•赫恩斯塔德同意麦凯纳的看法。员工可能会声称如果不是感觉受到了胁迫，她（通常是女性）是不会与老板约会的。赫恩斯塔德说，“她的上级会说，‘我只是问你是否愿意与我约会。’但当事人会说，‘我感到不能够说不’。”

If a supervisor and a subordinate just can’t resist each other, McKenna recommends that they sign what she calls a “cupid contract.”
如果上下级之间彼此吸引且不能自拔，麦凯纳就建议双方签署一份“丘比特合约”。

They should spell out in writing the fact that both are engaging in a consensual relationship. If the company has a sexual harassment policy, they should make it clear they understand the rules.
他们应当白纸黑字地写清楚：彼此两情相悦。如果公司有关于性骚扰的制度，他们还应当写明自己知晓这些规则。

Helaine Olen agrees. “Set some ground rules you can use if the relationship flames out,” she advises. “It’s like a prenup for an office romance.”
赫莱茵-奥伦也认同这一点。她建议，“订立一些基本规则，一旦关系恶化可以用到。对办公室恋情来说这就像婚前协议一样。”

Olen also suggests that the senior partner in the relationship step up and report the romance to the human resources department. In so doing the supervisor should volunteer to take the hit if the company decides the pair should no longer work together.
奥伦还建议，上下级恋情中作为上级的一方应当主动站出来，向人力资源部门报备。在这样做的过程中，如果公司认为两人不应再一同工作，上级的一方应该主动提出离开。

It’s far preferable to find someone outside your department to date. Connie Thanasoulis-Cerrachio, a career coach who has worked with companies including Merrill Lynch, Pfizer and Citigroup, recommends looking for love at office philanthropic activities and social events like softball games rather than in the neighboring cubicle.
在自己部门以外的地方寻找心仪对象就可取得多了。曾经与美林证券、辉瑞制药和花旗银行合作的职业教练康妮-萨纳索利斯·切拉基奥建议在公司的慈善活动以及像垒球游戏等社交活动中寻找爱情，而不是盯着身边的同事。

Another piece of perhaps obvious but valuable advice: Pause before you plunge.
另一个显而易见但非常宝贵的忠告是：在一头扎进去之前请三思。

“Stop and think about yourself in relation to the other person,” advises Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the author of 16 books on dating and romance.
“停下来想想自己和对方的关系。”华盛顿大学社会学教授佩珀-施瓦茨建议道，她着有16本婚恋作品。

“If you’re in heavy lust, you’ve got to slow down.” McKenna agrees. “Think about the fact that 50% of marriages don’t make it,” she says. “The batting average for other relationships is much worse.”
“如果你用情很深，你就不得不放慢节奏。”麦凯纳表示认同。“想想50%的婚姻都不能走到最后，”她说，“其他关系的平均成功率就更低了。”

One more piece of advice: Consider how you would feel if you lost your job.
还有一条建议：想想如果失去工作，你的感受会是如何。

Everyone who has experienced heartbreak knows that proximity to an ex can be unbearable. All too often, say experts, failed office romances result in one person leaving the job–willfully or not.
任何经历过分手的时候人都知道，与前任恋人抬头不见低头见是多么难以忍受的一件事。专家们称，办公室恋情告吹常常会导致一个人离开公司，无论是否出于本意。

“The possible consequences here are not just the loss of the person you’re gaga over,” says Schwartz. “It could mean the loss of your livelihood.” Brin obviously doesn’t run that risk and it seems his new romantic partner will also be safe, given that she doesn’t report directly to him. But for the rest of us, it’s wise to keep in mind the potential fallout from an office liaison.“
这里可能出现的结果是，你失去的不仅仅是让你为之倾倒的那个人，”施瓦茨说道，“可能还有你的生计。”显然，布林不用冒这个风险，而且考虑到他的新恋人不必直接向他汇报工作，貌似她也比较安全。但是对我们其他人来说，牢牢记住办公室恋情对事业的潜在影响不失为明智之举。