好朋友在身边：如何做个真正的朋友

“I found that the more truthful and vulnerable I was, the more empowering it was for me.” ——Alanis Morissette
“我发现我越诚实越坦诚，就会获得越多的能量。”——艾拉妮丝·莫莉塞特

Hiding your flaws might be appropriate in a job interview, but it’s not something you should do in a conversation with a friend you trust. Never hesitate to speak your thoughts and feelings in their raw and unfiltered form. Who knows? They might open up and disclose a surprising secret in return. Full disclosure will strengthen your friendship and make you both feel at ease in each other’s company.
工作面试的时候隐藏锋芒也许比较合适，但和自己信赖的朋友聊天时就没必要这样做了。别顾虑太多，不说出自己真实的想法和感受，或是不假思索的言语。这样做了又如何呢？也许会打开彼此的心扉，你也会获知对方的一个秘密。畅所欲言能巩固你们的友情，还会让彼此都觉得对方的陪伴十分舒服。

7. Forgive the past.
原谅过往。

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”——Buddha
“耿耿于怀就像是自己喝着毒药，却期盼另一个人死去。”——禅语

Have you ever hurled an insult at a person when you were feeling stressed and wished you could take it back? If so, you should understand that even the best of us suffer from the occasional slip of the tongue. Holding onto a grudge over a minor slip-up will make you look petty, so let it go.
压力大的时候有没有对别人大吼大叫进行侮辱，现在后悔莫及想收回？如果是，你需要了解及时最好的我们也会遭遇口舌之灾。把怨恨没完没了的纠结在鸡毛蒜皮的小事上会让你看起来非常的市井俗气，算了吧。

8. Watch out for jealousy.
小心嫉妒之心。

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” ——Bette Midler
“成功最糟糕的一部分是试着找到为你而开心的人。”——贝蒂·米勒

Your friend landed his dream job and you feel stuck in a rut. Your friend scored a hot date with Mr. Perfect and you feel down and depressed. Jealousy is a nasty feeling that can take hold of our thoughts without warning. If a friend achieves something you aspire to do, channel that jealous feeling into an “if they did it, I can too” attitude.
你朋友找到自己梦寐以求的工作，你觉得有点不爽。你朋友跟完美先生爱的死去活来，你感到低落和压力。嫉妒是一种糟糕的感受，会在不知不觉中占据我们的思想。如果有朋友做到了你也想做的事情，不如把态度转变成：他们都能做到，那我也可以吧。

9. Speak the truth (even if it hurts).
说实话（哪怕有点伤人）。

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”——Oscar Wilde
“真相很少会纯洁简单。”——奥斯卡·王尔德

Have you ever watched a friend damage her self-esteem by staying in an emotionally abusive relationship? I have, and it hurts more than words can express. Confronting a person about an inconvenient truth isn’t easy, but sometimes it needs to be done. If you have something to say and can’t find the nerves to do it, ask yourself, “How would I feel if it was me making a very bad decision and my friend said nothing about it?” While speaking out doesn’t guarantee you’ll change their mind, staying silent does guarantee you’ll regret not speaking up sooner.
有没有看着一个朋友身处虐心的恋情，连自尊都不顾？我有过，这种感受无法用语言来表达。要告诉某人一个不好的事实不容易，但有时我们需要这么做。如果你有话要说，却鼓不起勇气去做，那问问自己：“如果是我在做一个很糟糕的决定，但朋友却无动于衷，那我会怎么想？”说出你的想法并不能保证就能改变他们，但保持沉默只会让你日后后悔没有早点说出口。

10. Make it special.
让你们的友情与众不同。

“We are all special cases.”——Albert Camus
“我们都是不同的个体。”——阿尔贝·加缪

The greatest friendships have quirks and qualities that are exclusive to them. Search for a special activity, gesture, or saying that is reserved for your true friend only. That could be a song you belt out on every car ride, a goofy handshake or gesture that no one else understands, or a weekly ritual just for the two of you.
最好的友情对两个人而言总有着俩人之间的特殊习惯或喜好。找一个特别的活动、手势或者话语，只对你真正的朋友使用吧。可以是每次乘车都必听的一首歌，一个傻傻的握手或者是没人能懂的手势，或者是只有你俩的一周一次的活动。