社会大课堂：社交达人的7个秘密

Have you ever witnessed somebody who is so confident and fluent in conversations that it’s actually really impressive? How do they do it?
你是否遇过自信满满、谈笑风生的社交达人，给人印象尤为深刻？他们是怎么做到的呢？

We all know people who are beloved by everyone and seem able to make friends wherever they go. Some regard them with admiration tinged with a bit of envy, then shrug their shoulders and figure those people are just born with that special “something”. It might be surprising to learn that being popular is a skill that can be learned like any other.
我们都遇到过人见人爱的家伙，他们到哪儿似乎都能交上朋友。有人对他们既羡慕又嫉妒，最后耸耸肩觉得他们或许天生就有“万人迷”的本领。其实，“人见人爱”也是一种可以学习的技能哦！

Just as you wouldn’t expect to wake up one morning knowing how to play the piano, the key to success in making friends is setting goals and developing a game plan. Use these seven tips as the framework on which you build your skill set.
就像你不可能一觉醒来就变成钢琴高手一样，交朋友也需要设定目标、循序渐进。请参考以下7个贴士，训练自己成为社交达人吧！

1. Be interested, not interesting
关注他人，而非以自我为中心

A widespread misconception is that popular people are the ones talking about their latest promotion or exciting vacation they took or wild party they attended. Hearing the occasional interesting story is fine, but most people become bored or resentful listening to these blow-by-blow accounts. It’s far more effective to take a genuine interest in the lives of others and get them talking about themselves. And remember that no word sounds as magical as one’s own name. Addressing people by name makes them feel special.
常见的错误想法是：受欢迎的人总在谈论自己最新升职、快乐假期或热辣派对。偶尔听听有趣故事也还不错，但若一直听别人呱啦炫耀，多数人会感到厌烦抵触。更有效的办法是：真正对他人生活感兴趣，多让别人开口讲话。而且请记住：世上最美好的词就是自己的名字。所以，常称呼他人姓名，让他们觉得自己特别。

2. Be positive – but not too positive
积极乐观，但也别做过头

Think about people you’ve known who expect the worst from everyone and everything and aren’t shy about speaking up. Not much fun to be around, are they? This doesn’t mean you have to be constantly spreading false rays of sunshine. That’s nearly as annoying as eternal pessimism. Have a clear-eyed and honest attitude and people will come to value your opinions as trustworthy.
想想身边那些口无遮拦的家伙，总是扫人兴搅浑局，真没趣，是吧？你无须总是假装给点阳光就灿烂，这种做法和无休止的悲观一样惹人厌烦。保持镇定诚恳，别人自然会信赖你。

3. Be charitable to others
善待他人

Gossiping about friends and co-workers may gain you an audience, but it’s superficial and temporary. Those who indulge their pettier instincts trashing others aren’t the ones you want in your circle. Eventually even those people will realize that you’re just as likely to be talking about them in the same way and they’ll steer clear. It also translates as weakness and insecurity, trying to build yourself up by tearing others down. Take the high road and you’ll be seen as fair-minded.
背后议论朋友和同事虽能赢得同盟，但却非常肤浅短暂。相信你也不喜欢和爱八卦的人做朋友。最后这些人甚至会发现，他们自己也会这样被人八卦，只好灰溜溜避开。八卦其实是一种软弱和不安的表现，八卦的人试图通过诋毁他人来膨胀自己。正直做人，别人会认为你比较公正。