真爱无需钻戒 结婚不必有房

Most of us are adult enough to know magic doesn't exist. And yet we're the same species that thinks fat rings are fairy-tale items which somehow "secure" another person's love, one step away from a "happily ever after".
我们中的大多数都已经足够成熟，知道这个世界上并不存在什么魔法。我们同样也都知道用一颗大钻戒去“套住”一个人的心，然后“永远幸福地生活在一起”是只是童话中才会出现的故事。

They're expensive, useless and, worse, are insulting to notions of actual love. As anyone who's been in a serious long-term relationship knows, you don't need geology to proclaim (let alone justify) said love.
戒指又贵又没用，更糟糕的是，它们还侮辱了爱情的真谛。任何一个认真处在长久恋爱关系的人都知道，你并不需要通过地里埋藏的东西来宣告（甚至刻意证明）你的爱。

Before you take me for a cheapskate who just doesn't want to spend the money on a ring, let me explain a bit more. Many of us, especially men, have strapped our feet to the commercialised notions of what constitutesrelationships. We've turned into zombies, hungry for all things red and supposedly lovey dovey. We buy into the baffling displays of romance like the nauseating crimson heart-shaped horror show we call Valentine's Day. Or the flowers and boxed chocolates we're supposed to deliver on anniversaries to celebrate monogamous tolerance and the disbelief you haven't murdered each other.
在我被你们视为不愿花钱买戒指的吝啬鬼之前，请允许我多做一些解释。我们很多人，尤其是男人，已经被束缚在商业化概念构成的情感之中。我们变得像僵尸一样，渴望一切红色的东西和所谓的情爱缠绵。我们相信那些莫名其妙的浪漫表达方式，比如满眼红到令人作呕的恐怖心形物（我们称之为情人节），或者是我们应该在周年纪念日那天送上鲜花和盒装巧克力，以庆祝我们竟能在一夫一妻制下相互容忍而没有相互残杀。

We speed through our finances and morals, enjoying the exhilaration of fitting in to societal expectation, as opposed to reflecting on whether our actions are warranted or justified. And our partners seem all too ready to go along with it.
我们忽视了自身的经济能力和个人信念，享受着因为符合社会期望而带来的喜悦，却没有反思我们的行为是否必要或者合理。我们的伴侣对此似乎也都是赞同的。

Engagement rings – specifically expensive diamond ones – are often prime examples of this unthinking mindset. The problem isn't the rings themselves, but the justifications – or the lack of justifications – behind their acquisition.
订婚戒指——尤其是昂贵的钻石戒指——往往是这种盲目心态的典型例子。问题并不在于戒指本身，而是在于买戒指这件事的合理性。

We mustn't confuse engagement rings – given, usually to a woman, when a proposal is accepted – and wedding rings – given on wedding day. (Already, we should recognise how strange it is to need two different kinds of rings.)
我们千万不能把订婚戒指和结婚戒指弄混了，前者是在女人同意了男人的求婚之后，男人送给她的戒指，而后者是在结婚当天送给她的戒指。（好吧，其实我们已经意识到需要两种不同的戒指是件很奇怪的事情了。）

Whatever the long history of engagement items – I've heard claims of it dating from ancient Egypt or Rome, for example – the focus on engagement rings should really start with De Beers, in the 20th century.
有传言称订婚习俗起源于古埃及或古罗马，但不管订婚习俗的历史有多么悠久，我真正听说订婚戒指这件事应该是从20世纪的戴比尔斯公司（De Beers）开始的。

After large diamond mines were discovered here in South Africa around 1870, the mines' major investors amalgamated their interests to form De Beers Consolidates Mines. They recognised that due to diamonds having little intrinsic value, they would need to create demand via (the illusion of) scarcity and pretend worth. So began one of the most successful marketing and public manipulation campaigns of the 20th century, originating from four words: "A diamond is forever".
1870年左右，在南非发现一些大钻矿之后，这些矿的主要投资者们便达成了利益联合，成立了戴比尔斯联合矿业。他们知道钻石本身并没有什么价值，但他们需要利用钻石稀缺的假象来创造需求，假装它们很有价值。所以“钻石恒久远，一颗永流传”这句广告语便成为了20世纪最成功的营销和公关案例之一。

By convincing men their love for their future wife is directly proportional to the expense of the diamond ring, and convincing women to expect love in the form of shiny stone, De Beers and their marketers, NW Ayer, began a tradition so embedded we forget it's a marketing ploy. Genius marketing, to be sure, but marketing nonetheless.
通过让男人们相信他们对未来妻子的爱与钻戒的价格成正比，同时也蛊惑女人们去期待闪亮石头所表达的爱，戴尔比斯和他们的营销伙伴爱尔广告公司开启了一段深入人心的经典之旅，甚至让我们都忘了这是一种营销策略。它的确是一种天才营销，但不管怎样，也只是营销而已。

And guess what? The prices keep going up, as if we are really loving more and deeper these days. According to the XO Group Inc 2011 Engagement Engagement & Jewelry survey, the average engagement ring cost $5,200. If you think that's bad, consider that nearly 12% of US couples spend more than $8,000 for an engagement ring. Of course, we should take such stats with some measure of scepticism, as Will Oremus highlights. Nonetheless, these are the prices at a time when the average American family earns less than it did in 1989.
猜猜接下来怎样了？钻石的价格持续增长，时至今日，我们对它们的爱更是有增无减。根据XO集团有限公司（XO Group Inc）的2011年度订婚首饰调查，人们在订婚戒指上的平均花费约为5200美金。如果你觉得这已经是非常可怕的数字了，那么再想想，其实还有近12%的美国夫妻会花8000美金以上去买订婚戒指。当然，正如作家欧蕾慕斯（Will Oremus）所强调的，我们应该带着怀疑的态度去看这些数据。这些价格都是1989年的调查结果，而在那个年代，美国家庭平均赚到的美金其实都达不到这些数字。

The American bias of these stats shouldn't negate the overall point: diamonds – and therefore diamond rings – are expensive and the demand was created artificially for an item that's only property here is shininess (it decreases in value as soon as you walk out the store).
尽管钻戒花费的可信度有待商榷，但这不能掩盖这个事实：钻石以及钻戒的天价都是人为创造出来的，它们唯一的特性就是闪亮（但一旦走出商场，闪亮的它们就会黯淡下来）。