大学里你学不到的7个人生技能

In far too many classes that I have taught over the last 5 years, I have heard the refrain from students, "This is the first time we are learning this." Or, even more disturbing, "I wish I had learned this earlier in my college career."
在过去5年的时间里，在我教过的课堂中，总能从学生那里听到这样的说法，“这是我们第一次学习这方面的知识。” 或者能听到更令人不安的说法，“我希望在大学中我能早点学到这方面的知识。”

What are some of the life lessons I would teach every college student--and career professional--if I had the chance? Here are seven of the most important lessons I fervently wish everyone could have the chance to learn:
如果我有机会，我会教给每个大学生（也包括专业老师）哪些人生课呢？这里有七堂最重要的课程，我热切希望每个人都能有机会学习一下：

1. It's a waste of time and energy to find the person, people or organization to "blame" for your troubles.
把自己面临的困境归咎于某个人、某群人或某个组织，这是在浪费时间和精力。

There are so many things in life that aren't fair; Why? Because you can't right all of the wrongs, and you won't ever be at peace if you are looking for fair. Does that mean you don't try to change things or fix yourself? Of course not! But, more importantly, focus on those things you can control and you can influence. Spend minimal time on those things that are completely out of your control. Instead of blaming and finger-pointing, figure out what you can do to make a difference.
生活中有很多事情不公平，为什么？因为你不能纠正全部错误，如果你想要公平，你就不会内心平静。这是否代表你不应该尝试去改变什么，或是从自己身上做出调整改变呢？当然不是！但是更重要的是，专注于那些你可以控制并能起到影响作用的事情上。在那些脱离你的控制的事情上用最少的时间。不是简单地挑挑毛病转嫁责任逃避责任，你要弄清楚，到底自己能做些什么才能带来改变。

2. Communication isn't natural and doesn't come easy to most people.
沟通并不是自然而然的事情，沟通对于多数人来说都不是件容易的事情。

Yes, we learn to talk at an early age and talking, as well as walking, is a natural function for most people. But talking and communicating are two different things. Communication takes focus and energy. It takes a sincere interest in the other person or people. It requires active and reflective listening. In other words, you need to actually care about others if you ever really want to communicate effectively.
对！我们从小就学会了说话、走路，对多数人来说，是一种本身自然具备的能力。但说话和沟通是两码事。沟通需要精力专注、待人真诚，积极听取他人意见和看法并对其做出反应。换句话说，如果真的想做到有效沟通，需要真的在乎别人的感受。

3. Learn how to solve your own problems.
学会如何解决自己的问题。

Stuck in a rut? Many people are, at some point in their life. Not sure what to do next or how to get somewhere? It's a common occurrence. The question is whether you spend your time lamenting how stuck you are, or you devote your attention to finding a new, creative way out of your problem.Be a problem-solver, not a problem-maker.
停滞不前？很多人在生活的某一阶段原地踏步停滞不前。不知道下一步该做什么？该怎么去往某个想去的地方？这都是常见现象。问题在于，你是把时间用在感叹自己处于如此卡壳的状态，还是把注意力转移到寻找新的创造性的出路上。要成为问题解决者而不是成为麻烦制造者。