万万没想到：职场人见人爱只要六招

So you want to know how to make people like you? It's easier than you think.Here are six research-backed tips:
你想知道如何让别人喜欢你吗？其实比你想的要容易的多。研究得出以下6条结论：

1. Encourage people to talk about themselves
1. 鼓励人们谈论他们自己

It gives their brain as much pleasure as food or money:
这种做法给大脑带来的愉悦相当于食物或者金钱：

Talking about ourselves — whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter — triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money, researchers reported.
研究者们的报告称，无论是在私人谈话还是通过脸书推特这些社交媒体交流时，谈论自我总会激发类似于食物和金钱给大脑带来的愉悦感。

"Self-disclosure is extra rewarding," said Harvard neuroscientist Diana Tamir, who conducted the experiments with Harvard colleague Jason Mitchell. Their findings were published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. "People were even willing to forgo money in order to talk about themselves," Ms. Tamir said.“
自我表露会带来超级多的满足感。”哈佛大学神经系统科学家黛安娜·塔米尔说。她和她哈佛的同事詹森·米切尔共同完成了这个实验，他们的科研结果发表在《美国国家科学院院刊》上。她说：“人们甚至不要钱，也想要表露自己。”

2. To give feedback, ask questions
2. 提供反馈，询问问题

If you use questions to guide people toward the errors in their thinking process and allow them to come up with the solution themselves, they're less likely to feel threatened and more likely to follow through.
如果你使用问题来引导人们发现他们在思考过程中的错误，允许他们自己想出解决办法，人们更不容易感受到威胁，且更愿意跟随你的引导。

It's not you searching for problems; it's him searching for gaps in his thinking process. The more you can help people find their own insights, the easier it will be to help others be effective, even when someone has lost the plot on an important project. Bringing other people to insight means letting go of "constructive performance feedback," and replacing it with "facilitating positive change."
不是你来寻找问题，而是他来寻找自身思考过程中的缺漏。你越能帮助他们找到自己的见解，就更能有效的帮助他人，即使在他压根没意识到一个重要项目的情况到底是怎样时。让他人找到正确的见解意味着“促进积极的改变”，而不是“建设性的表现反馈”。

3. Ask for advice
3. 寻求建议

Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, persuasion expert Robert Cialdini and many others have all recommended asking for advice as a powerful way to influence others and warm them to you.
斯坦福教授杰弗里·普费弗、谈判专家罗伯特·恰尔迪尼以及其他专业人士都推荐过询问他人的建议是一种很有力的影响他人并且让他人喜欢你的好方法。

Wharton professor Adam Grant breaks down the science behind it:New research shows that advice seeking is a surprisingly effective strategy for exercising influence when we lack authority. In one experiment, a researcher had people negotiate the possible sale of commercial property. When the sellers focused on their goal of getting the highest possible price, only eight percent reached a successful agreement. When the sellers asked the buyers for advice on how to meet their goals, 42 percent reached a successful agreement. Asking for advice encouraged greater cooperation and information sharing, turning a potentially contentious negotiation into a win-win deal. Studies demonstrate that across the manufacturing, financial services, insurance and pharmaceutical industries, seeking advice is among the most effective ways to influence peers, superiors, and subordinates.
沃顿商学院的亚当·格兰特解释了这背后的道理：新研究显示当我们缺乏权威的时候，询问他人建议是一种影响他人的有效手段。在一次实验中，一名实验员让人们来谈论一处房地产的销售。当销售人员只专注于想要卖出尽可能的高的价格的时候，只有8％的人达到了目标。当销售人员询问顾客如何才能满足他们的要求时，42％的销售人员最后达到了卖出房产的目的。寻求建议鼓励了人们之间更多的合作以及信息的共享，把潜在的有争议的协商变成一个双赢的局面。研究显示，在制造业、金融服务业、保险业和医药行业，询问对方的建议都是最有效影响同事、上司和下属的方法。