社交课堂：12步克服羞涩和社交焦虑症

Don’t wait for others to introduce you; you should initiate the introduction. I recently saw U.S. President Barack H. Obama on television; he was walking into a voting location to cast his ballot for the 2012 U.S. Presidential Election. I watched to see how his demeanor differed from others.
不要等别人来介绍你，你应该先主动介绍自己。最近我在电视上看到美国总统巴拉克•奥巴马：他向投票点走去，竞选2012年的美国总统。我一直留意他的言行究竟如何与众不同。

Here’s what stood out: he walked confidently with a smile on his face, and he took time to introduce himself to the individuals in the room. That’s all, and it made him appear to be very presidential, very confident in himself.
这个与众不同就是：他面带微笑地自信地走过去，然后开始向房间里的所有人介绍自己。就凭这样，已经使他显得非常有总统范儿、对自己非常有信心了。

He could have walked in there with his head held down, assuming everyone knew who he was, like the socially anxious. But instead, he owned his space, he initiated contact and looked very powerful in the process.
本来他也可以低着头走过去，心里猜测别人怎么看他，一副社交焦虑的样子；但是，他压住了气场、主动开始了交流，整个过程都显得很有震慑力。

8. Move Slow
放慢动作

One “sure fire” way to appear socially anxious is to make lots of sudden movements. Consider the lion, the lion only moves when it is necessary, all of its movements are deliberate. The lion appears confident; the lion is confident.
显得社交焦虑的一个“致命”方法就是一下子做太多动作。想想狮子吧，只会在必要时出动，而且每次出动都很慎重。狮子不仅看上去很自信，也确实很有信心。

Now imagine the chipmunk, chipmunks are constantly “looking over their shoulder,” they make lots of sudden movements, always on the watch – always appearing to be supremely nervous and on guard against attackers.
再想想花栗鼠——总是东张西望、动来动去、张望不停，看上去似乎非常紧张，总在防备袭击者一样。

Slow, deliberate movements will not only make you appear more confident, it will actually contribute to your personal confidence bank…so avoid “chipmunk like” behavior.
缓慢而慎重的动作不仅使你看上去更自信，实际上也能真正提高你的自信力。所以，千万不要有花栗鼠一样的行为啊！

9. Take Up Space
压住气场

You must learn to take up space; powerful people take up lots of space. Don’t hold your arms in towards your body – open them up. If you’re in a meeting, spread your things out, use body language that makes you appear larger than life. Anxious people shrink; confident people expand and shine.
你必须学会压住气场；有气度的人都很有气场。不要两臂交叉抱胸，放下来吧。如果你在开会，那就多分散自己的物品，用肢体语言来提高自己的形象。焦虑的人畏首畏尾；自信的人张扬而耀眼。

As you practice taking up space – you will appear more confident and in control.
你在练习气场时，会变得越来越自信，也越来越有掌控力。

10. The Secret to Success
成功秘诀

If you are a socially anxious or shy person, you are probably very familiar with that heart thumping feeling you get when speaking in front of a crowd. The heart thumping feeling that causes you to get flustered and forget what you’re about to say. If this is you, I’ve written these next few lines with you in mind – because I want to document for you how you can easily succeed when this happens next time.
如果你是一个社交焦虑或害羞的人，可能会很熟悉那种当众演讲时心跳加剧的感觉，这种感觉使你心慌意乱，甚至忘了要说什么。如果你就是这样的人，那下面的内容就是为你而写的——因为我想向你证明，下次再遇到类似情况，你可以轻易取得成功。

As you know, when you practice your presentation in a room by yourself, you’re not nervous; you’re confident and poised. However, when you get in front of a group of strangers, or even your peers – the element of: possibly saying the wrong thing, or embarrassing yourself causes your body to become uptight and your heart to race.
你也知道，当一个人在房间里练习演说时，你不仅不紧张，甚至还沉着自信。可是，一旦你站到一群陌生人、甚至同行人面前时，不经意说错话或出丑就能让你身体僵硬、心跳加快。

The key to solving this dilemma is in how you practice. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but perfect practice will make you darn good. When I say perfect practice, I’m talking about recreating the situation exactly as it will be when it’s time for you to present. If your heart will be racing when it’s time for you to present, and it will. It’s important that your heart is racing when you’re practicing, this way you will be accustomed to the feeling and be able to handle it confidently and appropriately.
解决这一窘境的关键就要看你是怎么练习的了。练习不一定总能达成目标，但“无懈可击的练习”却可以让你表现出众。所谓“无懈可击的练习”，是指完全按照将要面对的情境进行准备。要是作报告时你会心跳加速，那么练习时也会。练习时心跳加速也很有意义，因为这样你就能习惯这种紧张感，慢慢知道如何自信而恰当地应对了。

So before you practice that next big speech, run up a flight of stairs a few times, or walk up a flight of stairs; do a few dozen push-ups. Anything to get your heart racing, then practice your speech. Repeat this until you can confidently and calmly present, even when your heart is racing.
所以在准备下次重要演讲前，请尝试多爬几趟楼梯或做些俯卧撑，让自己心跳加速起来，然后再练习演讲。不断重复，直到你能自信而镇定地把报告做好——哪怕当时心里仍在砰砰跳。

In time, your heart will race less and less – because you will know that there’s nothing to fear, but fear itself.
最后，你会渐渐不再心跳加速——因为你发现除了害怕本身，真的没什么好害怕的。

11. Prepare in Advance, But Don’t Practice
提前准备，但不必练习

Preparation is important. If you’re going to an event where you have to be social, it won’t hurt to brush up on the current events in the world: politically, socially, as well as in the entertainment industry (if appropriate for the event).
准备很重要。如果在接下来的活动中你必须与人打交道，那不妨了解下当今政治、社会或娱乐界的时事话题吧。（如果跟活动有关的话）

Be prepared…so you can contribute to the conversation. You want to prepare, but you don’t want to practice. If you practice you will sound rehearsed and unnatural, so brush up and add a little something special to the conversation.
事先做好准备，这样你才能有话可讲。你需要提前准备，但不必提前练习，不然听上去会跟念经一样不自然。了解时事，再在谈话时穿插点花絮边料就行了。

12. Realize There is Nothing to Fear
记住：没什么好害怕的

In social situations, realize that there’s nothing to fear. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Perhaps you should make a list of the worst things that could happen, so that you can see that they’re not that bad.
在社交环境中时，请告诉自己：没什么好害怕的。最坏又能糟糕到哪儿去呢？或许你可以把最坏的情况全都列出来，然后你就会发现，一切并没有那么糟糕！

Calm down, take your time, be yourself, there is nothing to fear.
请保持镇定，放轻松，做好你自己就行。没什么好害怕的。

Bonus: Practice Socializing
另外：社交也需要练习。

Practice, practice, practice!
一定要练习、练习、再练习！

Early I talked about U.S. President Barack H. Obama and how he appeared so confident walking into the voting location. He was able to appear confident because he practices being confident everywhere he goes.
前面我提到美国总统巴拉克•奥巴马，讲他走到投票点时表现得多么自信。他之所以看上去那么自信，其实也是因为他一直在练习变得自信而已。

You should practice being confident, practice talking to strangers in the grocery line, at work, and where ever you go.
你也应该练习提高信心，不论是买菜派对、工作还是在任何其他地方，你都可以尝试跟陌生人交谈。

Practice, practice, practice!
一定要练习、练习、再练习！