正文
职场生存选修:如何制造忙碌假象
How to pretend that you are working hard in office?
If you are working for a boss who equates performance with how busy an employee appears or if you are working a company that rewards only workaholics, you are bound to come across a moment when pretending to look busy is the only way to guard your self-interest.
如果你老板认为工作绩效等同于员工目测的忙碌程度,或者如果你是在为一家只嘉奖工作狂的公司卖命,那么你即将面临这样的情形—只有假装忙碌,才是保护自己利益的唯一方式。
It might sound like a manipulative thing to do but it is an accepted part of contemporary organizational culture and something you should have as a part of your office arsenal.
这乍听有些工于心计,但却作为现代组织文化的一部分为人们接受,你也该将它作为你办公室武器装备的一部分。
Get Cluttered For Your Own Sake
让你的办公桌拥挤起来
Try to keep your desk cluttered. This might make you look unorganized but it will also help to establish the illusion of you being occupied with loads of work. Use every possible resource for achieving this, including your mobile, laptop, documents, files, folders, diaries, calendar, cups, previous reports and dictionary. This also helps in preventing your acquaintances in questioning the kind of work you are doing since they would fear you might seek their help in something that already looks so messy!
试着让你的办公桌拥挤起来。也许这会显得有失条理,但也会同时制造出你有一大堆工作要忙的假象。用所有可能的资源去实现这点,包括你的手机,笔记本电脑,文件,档案,文件夹,记事本,日历,杯子,先前的报告和字典。这也会阻止同事们打听你的工作,因为他们会怕你在处理已经看起来如此之乱的事情时寻求他们的帮助!
Gain From View-Blocking Stance
阻挡视线,让别人看不到你
Try to maneuver your PC in such a way that the screen is visible to others to the least possible degree. Ensure not doing this if a senior has expressed a serious concern over this. Even then you can position the monitor in such a manner that the view of others is hindered to the maximum.
试着调整你的电脑,到他人可见的屏幕部分最少的角度。如果有上级顾虑这点,那就确保别这样干。即使如此,你可以调整显示屏,尽最大可能阻挡他人能看到的部分。
Sometimes Looking Distant Helps
有时要看起来严肃些
You might be famous in your office as the joke-cracking, rib-tickling, jovial guy but sometimes looking serious can help. Try to use a facial expression that denotes an aura of being highly engaged, as if your work has consumed you—looking unavailable here will help. You can try tapping your fingers on the desk or the chair’s arm-rest. This is a typical sign of someone getting impatient or irritated with work.
也许你以即兴玩笑,滑稽逗趣的乐天派形象在办公室闻名,但有的时候,看起来严肃些是有帮助的。尝试表示高度专注的面部表情,就好像你被工作消耗了一般—这个时候,看起来没空会对你有所帮助。你可以试着用手指敲桌子或者座椅扶手。这可是表示因工作不耐心或者被惹怒的典型信号。
Sigh to Elevate Your Degree of Involvement
叹气,提升你的参与度
Inhaling slowly and exhaling deeply with some force or Sighing comes naturally to most of us. It is regarded as a definitive indicator of letting-go of stress or just having gotten over something that was really demanding. Do this every two hours or so, to make everybody around you feel that you are taking some serious pains to wrap-up your day’s work.
慢慢吸气,然后用点力深深吐气或者叹气,这是我们大多数人都习以为常的。这被看作释放压力或者刚刚完成紧急任务的确定信号。每两个小时这样做一次,让你周围每个人都感觉到你在挣扎着完成自己的每日工作。
Play The Curious Fool To Make Others Dance To Your Tune
假扮好奇傻瓜,让大家跟随你的节奏
One way of keeping yourself awake at the office, making yourself look genuinely busy and ensuring that no one can decode your hidden agenda is to keep engaging the attention of others without actually working. You can do this by repeatedly asking your team-members vague, obvious questions. At most, your colleagues will excuse you for having a bad, forgetful day at work.
工作时保持清醒的一种方法就是,让自己看起来真心忙。而要确保没人清楚你的隐秘日程,就要在没有真正工作的同时不停地吸引别人的注意力。要实现这点,你可以不停地向队友询问一些模糊且明显的问题。最多,你的同事们会因为你今天工作不顺外加健忘而谅解你。
Fool-Proof Your Idling Cover
傻瓜式掩盖你表面的闲散
Ensure that you create the perfect illusion of being occupied with work. You can do this by constantly making keyboard sounds. Move around your mouse a lot. If you are wearing a tie, loosen it a bit and ruffle your hair slightly to appear like someone who is totally lost in work. Remain hunched over the keyboard to appear occupied.
确保你制造出了忙于工作的完美假象。你可以通过不停地敲响键盘实现这点。经常移动鼠标。如果你有戴领带,将领带松开一些,并稍稍弄乱头发,让自己看起来像沉迷在工作中的人一样。保持身体前倾伏在电脑前,显出忙碌的样子。
Don’t Forget Taking Regular Breaks
别忘了经常间歇休息
Taking breaks signifies that you are slightly tired and need to refresh your senses. Not indulging in your regular tea, coffee or smoking break can create suspicion about your status.
间歇性休息表明你有些疲惫且需要清醒自己的感官。如果你没有经常间歇性地休息,以依赖喝茶、咖啡或者吸烟保持体力,别人会怀疑你的忙碌状态。
Ensure Your Create Some Noise About Your Workload
确保你有抱怨自己的工作量
Keep reinforcing the perception that you have been kept busy primarily due to a demanding workload. You can grumble about work not being distributed evenly or crib about you being singled out for working on harder tasks.
不停地向他人灌输你正因一项繁重项目忙碌不已的观念。你可以抱怨工作分配不均或者自己被挑去做了更难的任务。
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