爱情专家：选择伴侣跟选择宠物类似

Do you always go for the wrong men, but have the most perfect pet? Then this relationship advice may be for you.

你是否总是会遇上错的人，却拥有一只最适合你的宠物？那么不妨看看以下这条恋爱建议。

A leading love expert has suggested there are parallels between picking the perfect partner and the way you choose your dog.

 一位著名的爱情专家认为，人们在选择最佳伴侣时有点类似于选择宠物狗。

Author and relationship coach Dr Annie Kaszina Ph.D - who is the first to admit she has her own chequered relationship history - discovered that by applying these principles she could finally make the right choices.

安妮博士是作家兼人际关系教练。作为第一个勇于承认自己复杂恋爱史的人，她发现采用一些法则会使她做出正确的选择。

When Annie met Orlandino it was love at first sight: the big brown eyes, the irresistible looks, the knack he had of making her laugh.

当安妮第一眼看到欧兰迪诺（Orlandino）时，便觉得他十分可爱。欧兰迪诺拥有一双棕色的大眼睛及令人无法抗拒的外表。他的一些小花招逗得安妮开怀大笑。

But sadly, he wasn't a keeper. Beneath that charming exterior lay some unsavoury habits and a difficult and a very demanding personality.

但令人伤心的是，他并不是那个值得安妮珍惜的人。他迷人的外表之下掩藏的是令人讨厌的习惯和执拗苛刻的个性。

Orlandino was the dog from hell.

欧兰迪诺就是一只地狱冥犬。

What Annie learned from that encounter set her on the path to becoming a women's relationship coach.

安妮在这段感情中领悟到的事情使她成为了一名女性人际关系教练。

She learned her lesson, chose her second dog - and her current lovely partner - with a lot more care, and has since taught hundreds of women simple ways to spot the right man for them, using her pet as the template.

她吸取经验教训，精心挑选了她的第二只狗，也是目前陪伴她的可爱伴侣。安妮用自己的狗作为例子，教导上百位女性如何用最简单的方式选择属于她们的真命天子。

Now Annie shares ten of her tips with Femail readers, inspired by her new book, entitled Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband?, which comes out on Valentine's Day.

日前，安妮同Femail的读者分享了十条小贴士。这十条贴士源于她即将在情人节出版的新书——《你是否选择狗狗比选择丈夫更仔细》。

1. Temperament is king

   性格才是王道

Mean, moody, and magnificent may sound exciting… So, too, may the idea of taking on a challenge, or 'taming' someone 'wild'.

吝啬卑鄙、喜怒无常、高贵华丽也许听起来令人兴奋无比，但也有可能意味着面临挑战，或是驯服某个野蛮粗鲁的人。

Unfortunately, they lead to hard work relationships; and hard work relationships lead to emotional exhaustion and breakdown.

但不幸的是，脾气不好的人会导致感情变得难以维系，而难以维系的感情又会导致情感耗竭和感情破裂。

Better to look for someone sunny and sweet-natured.

最好是找个个性阳光、脾气好的人。

Think about the way a date projects himself on first meeting and beyond. Why would pessimism or negativity be an aphrodisiac?

仔细想想你的约会对象在第一次约会和之后的约会中是怎样表现自己的。为什么悲观消极的情绪会成为一种催情剂？

2. Check the pedigree

   了解背景

Obviously, this is simpler with dogs than it is with people, and can't be settled on a first date. But then Rome wasn't built in a day, and nor should relationships be.

显然，了解狗狗的血统明显要比了解一个人的背景要容易得多，而且这不可能在第一次约会时就了解透彻。罗马不是一天建成的，恋爱关系也是如此。

You can listen to the way they talk about parents, family members, and friends.

你可以从他们对父母、家庭成员以及朋友的描述中获取一些相关信息。

If they come across as Billy-no-mates, there is cause for concern.

如果他们给你的印象是朋友寥寥无几，那你就得小心了。

3. Beware yappiness

  注意言谈

Unless you're okay with saddling yourself with Mr I'm Great, Mr Alpha Male, Mr In Love With The Sound of His Own voice, or Mr Life and Soul of the Party, be careful of over-talkers.

小心那些喋喋不休的人，除非你能忍受同自恋者、大男子主义者、喜欢自己声音的人或是派对上的活跃分子相处。

Incessant talking on a first date may be a sign of nerves, but also a lack of interest in the other person and a lack of social skills.

第一次约会时的喋喋不休可能是紧张的表现，也可能是因为他对他人没兴趣或缺乏社交技巧。

They need to take an interest in you too (This holds just as true for Strong, Silent Types).

约会对象也需要表现出对你感兴趣的样子（这一点适用于安静的壮汉）。

Asking non-intrusive questions is not rocket science.

问一些不侵犯他人隐私的问题并不是一件复杂的事。