比自夸更可恶的他夸

Last week Harris Wittels, the man who coined the phrase “humblebrag”, died at the unconscionable age of 30. In his memory I’ve been sifting through some of the finest examples of this specious genre — the boast that pretends not to be one — and have come up with two favourites.
近日，“谦虚的自夸”(humblebrag)一词的创造者哈里斯•维特尔斯(Harris Wittels)英年早逝，年仅30岁。为了纪念他，我把一些最符合这种表面上看不出来的自夸方式——假装不是自夸的自夸——的例子筛选了一番，并挑选出两个我最喜欢的例子。

My second best is Stephen Fry’s tweet from 2013: “Oh dear. Don’t know what to do at the airport. Huge crowd, but I’ll miss my plane if I stop and do photos . . . oh dear don’t want to disappoint.”
我挑选出的次佳例子是斯蒂芬•弗莱(Stephen Fry)2013年发的一条推文：“噢天哪。我现在在在机场不知道该怎么办。粉丝太多了，但如果我停下来和他们合影的话，我会错过航班的……噢天啊，真不想让他们失望。”

But my runaway first choice is from Oprah Winfrey. “OMG! Just had a SURPRISE date with Jackie Jackson. My teen idol heartthrob. Tried not to talk too much or eat too much. Succeeded at neither!”
但我认为最佳例子毫无疑问来自奥普拉•温弗里(Oprah Winfrey)。“噢我的天啊！刚和杰基•杰克逊(Jackie Jackson)结束了一次意外约会。我年少时的梦中情人。我一直尽力让自己不要话太多或者暴露出吃货的一面。结果都没做到！”

As Wittels put it: “Oprah, you don’t gotta brag. You’re Oprah.”
正如维特尔斯所说：“奥普拉，你用不着自夸。你可是奥普拉啊。”

However, there is another sort of boasting that needs exposing even more than the humblebrag as it is more widespread and more lethal. For want of a snappier name, I’m calling it the thirdpartybrag: when you pass on favourable remarks made about you by someone else.
不过，还有另一种形式的自夸甚至应该比“谦虚的自夸”更需要被揭露，因为这种自夸更普遍且更具杀伤力。因为想不出更俏皮的名字，我就叫它“他夸”好了(thirdpartybrag)：即传播别人对你的赞扬。

The rampant popularity of this sort of bragging is for three reasons: it involves minimal queasiness as you don’t have to make the boast yourself; it sounds almost objective; and Twitter makes it a doddle. It is as easy as hitting the retweet button and, far from looking crass, it has the further beauty of seeming almost good manners, as a retweet is a self-serving sort of thank you.
这种自夸方式之所以如此受欢迎，原因有三点：它所引起的反感度最小，因为你不需要自吹自擂；听起来差不多是客观的；Twitter使之实践起来易如反掌。这种自夸做起来十分简单，只要点击“转发”按钮，不仅看起来一点也不愚蠢，而且还几乎显得挺有礼貌，因为转发本身就是一种说“谢谢”的方式。

A particularly prolific thirdpartybragger is the British scientist Richard Dawkins, who engages in the practice several times a day. During the time I have been writing these paragraphs he has failed to resist the urge to retweet the following from @jamiesaboyname: “Such an amazing experience last night, to be in the presence of two of the worlds most beautiful minds @RichardDawkins @LKrauss1”.
英国科学家理查德•道金斯(Richard Dawkins)是一位格外高产的“他夸”践行者，他每天都要实践数次。就在我写到这里时，他没能抵抗住这样做的冲动，转发了@jamiesaboyname的如下评论：“昨晚面对面见到了世上最具才智之人中的二位——理查德•道金斯(@RichardDawkins)和@LKrauss1，真是令人难忘的经历”。

Channelling Wittels, I want to shout: Richard Dawkins, you don’t gotta brag. You’re Richard Dawkins.
借用维特尔斯的话，我想大喊道：理查德•道金斯，你用不着自夸。你可是理查德•道金斯啊。

I have become so allergic to thirdpartybragging that I am unfollowing everyone who engages in it. So it is farewell Dawkins. It’s also farewell Jack Welch, who one might have thought didn’t gotta brag either. He recently retweeted the following from @SPPresents “@jack_welch Just wanted to say THANK YOU for selecting me to narrate your new book Real Life MBA. It’s well written, funny, and engaging!”
我现在对“他夸”非常敏感，取关了所有这样自夸的人。所以，拜拜了道金斯，拜拜了杰克•韦尔奇(Jack Welch)。韦尔奇也是一个人们或许会觉得没必要自夸的人。他最近转发了@SPPresents的如下评论：“杰克•韦尔奇(@jack_welch)，只是想说‘谢谢你’选择让我来朗读你的新书《现实生活中的MBA》(Real Life MBA)。这本书写得很好，既有趣又引人入胜。”

Various colleagues have also been removed from my following list, though there are two who are getting a second chance. In one case, the thirdpartybragging was done by the man’s wife; the other retweeted comments about himself that were insulting rather than complimentary. Even though this is merely a thirdpartybrag with a bit of humblebrag thrown in, I’m forgiving him as the insult — that his column was “ludicrous bilge” — was quite funny.
许多同事也被我从关注列表中移除了，不过我给了两个人第二次机会。其中一个人，他转的夸奖来自他的妻子；另一个人转发了的评论是批评，而非赞美自己的话。尽管这“批评”不过是掺杂着些许“谦虚自夸”意味的“他夸”，但我还是原谅了他，因为这条评论——把他的专栏称为“荒唐的废话”——很有意思。

The popularity of thirdpartybragging raises the question: why do people demean themselves in this way? Partly it is because such retweeting administers a stroke to the ego.
“他夸”的普遍流行引发了一个问题：人们为什么要这样降低自己的格调？部分原因是这种转发满足了自尊心。

However, stroking egos is not what the internet is there for: it is what mothers are for instead. When mine was alive I would ring her up every time anyone said anything nice about me and hold forth at some length. From the other end of the phone would invariably come pleased noises.
然而，要满足自尊心，我们不应找互联网，而应该找妈妈。我妈妈在世的时候，每次有人夸我时，我都会给她打电话详细转述。而电话那头的妈妈，必定会开心得大喊大叫。

To follow someone on Twitter is not at all like being their mother. When the historian Simon Sebag Montefiore retweets “@SimonMontefiore J’lem one of the best books I’ve read. Can’t wait for your next tome!” I don’t make pleased noises; I make vomit ones and hit unfollow.
在Twitter上关注某人，决不是要表现地像他们的妈妈一样。当历史学家西蒙•塞巴格•蒙蒂菲奥里(Simon Sebag Montefiore)转发“西蒙•蒙蒂菲奥里(@SimonMontefiore)，《耶路撒冷》(Jerusalem)是我读过最棒的著作之一。等不及要看你下一部大作！”时，我没有开心得大喊大叫，而是大喊恶心，随后点击取关。

A bigger reason for the thirdpartybrag is not to feed egos, but to flog books, talks and so on. But can something so blatant really work?
“他夸”之所以流行，更主要的原因不在于满足自尊心，而是为了推销书籍、讲座等。但如此赤裸裸的推销真的能奏效吗？

The depressing answer is that it seems to. Seth Godin, a marketing pundit, has just devoted an entire blog post to reproducing gush from a third party. I fear I am the only person who responded badly — 876 people liked the boast post so much they retweeted it.
令人沮丧的是，答案是似乎真的可以。营销大师塞思•戈丁(Seth Godin)不久前刚用一整篇博文记录来自别人的恭维之词。恐怕我是唯一感到反感的人——有876人非常喜欢这篇自夸贴，以至于转发了它。

Thirdpartybragging shows followers as brainless and perpetrators shameless. In the case of Mr Godin, who is both in marketing and from America — where there is a more robust attitude to boasting in general — it may make sense. But what about Mr Dawkins? Has thirdpartybragging damaged the scientist’s considerable brain?
“他夸”显示出粉丝无脑，这种行为的实施者也没有节操。戈丁来自营销界和美国——总体来说对自吹自擂之风态度更为包容的地方，他搞这一套或许还说得通。但道金斯呢？“他夸”难道也损坏了这位科学家聪明的大脑吗？

To find out last week I composed a tweet that went roughly: “Didn’t realise @richarddawkins invented the meme. He’s even more of a god than I thought he was.” I sat back and waited for him to retweet, but several days passed and nothing happened. I feel better about Mr Dawkins as a result. But now I am vaguely offended. Didn’t he like my message, or something?
为了找出答案，不久前我发了一条推文，内容大致如下：“没想到是理查德•道金斯(@richarddawkins)发明了“摹因”(meme)一词。他甚至比我之前认为的更牛。”接着我就往椅背上一靠，等待他转发，但很多天过去了，什么都没发生。因此，我对道金斯的看法有所好转。但现在我有了一种模糊的被冒犯的感觉。他是不喜欢我的评论还是怎么着？