那些年拒绝约会时用过的借口

Turning down a date can be tricky, particularly when you don’t feel comfortable to blurt out: 'I'm just not that into you.'
拒绝约会也是需要技巧的，尤其当你不好意思直说“我只是没那么喜欢你而已”的时候。

Since being so honest can be embarrassing and awkward, many people scramble to come up with fake reasons for why they don't want to meet up with an eager admirer.
因为太过坦诚可能会让人感到尴尬和难堪，所以许多人绞尽脑汁地编造各种理由来说明他们为什么不愿意和一位狂热追求者见面。

But it seems that some users of the secret-sharing Whisper app went to a whole lot of trouble to wriggle out of a less-than-appealing date, offering up excuses that are strange, imaginative, and sometimes totally unbelievable.
但是在秘密分享程序“耳语”（Whisper）上，有些用户为了逃避不太想去的约会，千方百计编造出一些千奇百怪的、超乎想象、有时候甚至难以置信的理由来拒绝约会。

Clearly thrilled with their ingenious excuses, however, many people couldn’t wait to offer them up for public review - using the app's promise of anonymity to spill without repercussions.
这些用户对自己机智的理由沾沾自喜，所以大多数人迫不及待地把这些理由分享到公共平台上—用这款承诺匿名发布内容的APP就可以在分享时无所顾忌了。

'I can't, I'm at Walmart,' one woman wrote when a man texted her about meeting up. When he checked in again three hours later to ask if she was home yet, she said: 'No, I'm still at Walmart.'
“不行，我在沃尔玛呢”一位女士在男士短信邀约见面时这样回答。三个小时后这位男士再一次问她是否回到家了，这位女士回答：“没有，我还在沃尔玛。”

Some people blamed their pets for making them unavailable, with one saying: 'My pet ferret has anxiety attacks so I can't be away from him for too long or he'll get worried about me.'
有些人抱怨自己的宠物让他们忙得抽不开身，其中有一个人这样说：“我的宠物雪貂焦虑症发作了，我不能离开它太久，要不它会担心我的。

'Sorry, I've got an appointment to get my cat declawed that night,' wrote another, before admitting to Whisper users that she didn't actually have a cat.
另外有人说：“对不起，那天晚上我约了美容师给我的猫剪指甲”，之后她向“耳语”用户承认其实她根本没养猫。

One person said her excuse was that her 'goldfish drowned' - and added that the guy she fed that line to believed her, indicating that she may have dodged a bullet.
还有一个人的理由是她的“金鱼淹死了”，之后她又补充说那位男士居然信了，这表明她可能成功躲过了一劫。

Others told lies that tempted fate, creating fake personal tragedies that left them otherwise 'occupied'.
另外有些人用类似造化弄人的谎言来编造个人的悲惨故事，以此表明他们真的“没有时间”。

'Grandma was in the hospital,' one woman said she told a man who was pursuing her, before adding why the excuse almost didn't work: 'He offered to go with me.'
比如一位女士对她的追求者说：“我奶奶住院了。”但后来她说这个理由几乎没什么用，因为“他说他要和我一块去。”

Another told a suitor: 'My friend just got in an accident and she's in the hospital.'
还有一位女士跟她的追求者这样说：“我朋友出了点意外，她现在人在医院。”

Of course, sometimes just saying that you're busy doesn't do the trick, as a determined person might continue to try to find a time that works. To prevent that possibility, some people just attempted to scare potential dates off.
当然，有时候单单表示你很忙是没什么用的，因为一个有决心的人会接着跟你约其他合适的时间。为了防止这种可能性，有些人试图吓跑这些潜在的约会对象。

'There's a porno of me circling the web right now. You OK with that?' wrote one, while another woman said she told a man: 'I have a male genitalia phobia.'
有一位女士这样写道：网上有一张我的艳照，你能接受吗？”另外还有一位女士跟一位男士说：“我有男性生殖器恐惧症。”

'I've had a yeast infection for the past five years,' wrote a woman who chose a photo of a tray of doughnuts as a background for her words.
“过去五年里我一直深受宫颈感染的困扰”，一位女士这样写道，然后她选择了一张托盘上满是甜甜圈的图片来做她的文字背景。

Two girls even told men that going out with guys was against the rules, saying: 'My dad doesn't allow me to go out on dates by myself,' and 'I'm a nun and I'm not allowed to marry.'
还有两位女生对男士们表示跟他们约会是不符合规定的，其中一位说：“我父亲不允许我单独出去约会”，另一位则说：“我是修女，不能结婚。”

Then, naturally, there is the option of telling someone you play for a different team, as one woman showed when she told a man: 'I think I just found out I'm not into guys. I'm homosexual.'
当然，你也可以选择告诉别人你和他们不是一类人，比如一位女士在“耳语”上发了这样的图文，当时她跟那位男士说：“我刚刚发现我不喜欢男人，我是同性恋。”

Vocabulary
blurt out: 脱口而出
scramble:争抢
wriggle out of：设法逃避
repercussion：影响