2岁乔治王子拥有技能TOP10

萌萌哒乔治王子2岁啦！2岁的娃都学会啥技能了？其实王室家族的娃和平民百姓的一毛一样，都是爱哭爱闹爱捣蛋的熊孩子。英国电讯报总结了乔治王子目前为止会做的事，并寄语威廉王子和凯特王妃——家家都有熊孩子，接下来的一年……珍重！

1. Become a master of combat
1. 做个对抗高手

There is no pain like biting, hair-pulling, pinching and the following patented manoeuvres:
没有哪一种疼痛可以和撕咬、拉扯头发、捏掐相较，以下专利花招一样如此：

Donkey-kicking during nappy changes
换尿布时和小毛驴一样拳打脚踢

The raised arms shoulder-socket release to avoid being picked up
耸起肩膀抬起胳膊不让抱

The arched back or “planking”to avoid being strapped into the buggy/car seat.
弓起背部、“绷直”身体，不肯坐进小推车或汽车座椅、不让系安全带。

2. Learn to whine before you can talk
2. 会说话前，先学会咿咿呀呀
Every phone call you receive or make from now on will be drowned out by blood-curdling screams of “Dadddeee!”. George will delight in this. For Kate, this could mean frantic scrabbling for the phone while she tries to converse with housekeepers at an audible volume while trying to hold her handset as high up in the air as possible, still attached to her ear.
从今往后，无论你是打电话还是接电话，你的声音都会被“爸，爸爸！”的惊声尖叫淹没，听着瘆人。乔治也会热衷于此。对于凯特王妃而言，这意味小乔治会疯狂抓电话，她想和管家以正常音量通电话时不得不尽量举高听筒，同时听筒还得不离耳朵。

3. Bath and nappy cream are a food group
3. 浴缸和尿布霜都是可以吃的！
Bathtime is little more than an all-you-can-eat buffet; the bath water, the face flannel and the rubber duck are all irresistible delicacies. And nappy cream is like caviar for toddlers, best served straight from the bottom. In fact, the only thing your toddler will consistently refuse to put in their mouth will be… a toothbrush.
洗澡的时光和一切皆可食的自助餐相差无几。洗澡水，法兰绒洗脸巾和橡皮小鸭都是抵挡不住的美味诱惑。尿布霜对蹒跚学步的小孩子就有如鱼子酱。事实上，你的小孩唯一会持续抗拒送到嘴里的只有牙刷。

4. No clothes are always better than any clothes
4. 不穿衣服总好过穿衣服
George may have been styled in his adorable vintage tank tops, shorts and knee high socks, but what he really wants to wear is…nothing. Every child in the country now thinks it’s their right to take off their shorts and swing them around their head.
乔治王子也许已经梳妆打扮完毕，穿好复古坎肩、短裤和及膝高的袜子，但他其实最想什么都不穿。于是乎，每个小孩都觉得他们有权脱掉西裤，在头顶抡转裤子。

5. Pictures are to be taken on your terms
5. 会轮到你拍照的
You may have Mario Testino as your chosen official photographer, but George will no doubt display all the modelling prowess of any modern day toddler: devoting less than a second of his time to posing for photos, followed by ten minutes of indignantly screaming to see the as-yet-untaken 'PICS!’ while attempting to wrestle the phone/camera from you.
或许你选好了马里奥·特斯蒂诺做你的官方摄影师，但小乔治无疑会和现代人任何一个蹒跚学步的孩子一样，表现拗模特造型的技艺：即只花不到一秒钟时间摆造型，剩下的十分钟怒气冲冲惊声尖叫着要看还没拍好的“照片”，一边又试图从你手中抢过电话或者相机。

6. Repetition, repetition, repetition
6. 重复，一再重复
There is nothing a toddler likes more than repetition. And obviously, if you ever decide to tune it out, just for a minute of your own sanity，that will be the moment he’s actually trying to tell you Lupo’s weed on the rug.
摇摇晃晃学步的小孩再喜欢重复话语不过了。你要是想无视，哪怕只是一分钟清静清静，也许就是那一刻他想告诉你卢波（凯特的爱犬）刚刚在地毯上尿尿了。

7. Dawdling is the new doing
7. 磨磨蹭蹭才是正紧事儿
Over the next 12 months Kate will be getting nowhere, fast. Everything warrants a closer inspection: every stone, every plane in the sky, every discarded packet of cigarettes. And he will need to stop every few steps to exclaim or point or just sit for no particular reason.
接下来的12个月，凯特也许去哪儿都快不起来。小乔治什么都得细查个遍：每块石头、每架飞过天空的飞机和每一包扔掉的香烟。而且，他会每走几步路就大呼小叫、东点西指，或者不明就里席地而坐。

8. It’s fun to embarrass mum
8. 妈妈大囧才有意思
Kate will be spending a huge portion of most social encounters saying 'be GEN-tle’. And it might be time for a style rethink on those signature ladylike skirts, unless Kate doesn’t mind having her knickers exposed by a two-year-old playing tent while she’s watching the Trooping of the Colour.
凯特社交场合得花大量时间说“礼貌点儿”。是时候重新考虑下标志性女性裙装风格了，除非凯特王妃不介意两岁的娃把裙子当帐篷玩，在她观礼阅兵的时候底裤露出来。

9. Mess is as good as rest
9. 天下大乱方能风平浪静
The royal family have always been keen hunters, and now George is set to continue that tradition with his own 'Mummy traps’: toy cars and puddles of sun cream will all find their way beneath the LK Bennett wedges soon enough.
皇室家族似乎一直就热衷搜寻，现在小乔治开始继续他的“妈咪陷阱”传统：很快LK Bennett牌坡跟鞋下就能找到一辆辆玩具车和一滩滩防晒霜。

10. If you have it, hide it
10. 有了！就藏起来！
Even if your home is immaculate things will still go missing, thanks to every two year old’s love of Hiding Vital Things In Weird Places. Missing Keys? Try the throne room. You get the idea.
哪怕你家再一尘不染，东西终究会不见踪影，谁叫每个两岁的小孩就爱“重要东西往诡异的地方藏”呢。钥匙不见了？到王宫大殿里找找看吧。