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解密:区分“喜爱”与“职责”

2015-12-14来源:赫芬顿

The busyness grind often leads to intense feelings of burnout that seem almost impossible to overcome. And then, in a rare calm, you're left with an hour of free time to do whatever you want for once. And it hits you: I have NO idea what I actually want to do. I can't even begin to tell.
忙碌的重担总是让人筋疲力尽,且难以排解。在难得镇定下来之后,你可能会有一个小时的空闲去做任何想做的事。可这却难住了你:我并不知道自己真正想做什么。

But there’s good news -- Your body already knows what you want to do from what you feel you "need" to do. Just listen.
不过有好消息!你的身体会帮你区分哪些事情是你应该做的,哪些是你认为需要做的。你只需听由身体。

"When you're busy, you're reactive to demands from the 'outside' world," New York University psychologist Gabriele Oettingen says. "You need to take a moment to cut through the demands and decide what you really want."
纽约大学的心理学家加布里埃尔·厄廷根表示:“当你忙碌时,你是在对'外界'的需求做出反应。你要做的是从中抽身,静一静,思考什么是你真正想要的。”

喜爱

Experts have varying strategies for achieving such moments.
专家有多种策略让你有时间来弄清楚自己的喜好。

1) Give yourself some time to do nothing, every day. Allow your mind to wander.
1) 每天给你自己一些时间啥事也不做,让心放空。

"Most of our brain activity, and certainly all of our nervous system, operates on a subconscious level," Christine Carter, a sociologist says. "It does not speak in words. It can only talk to you in body sensations and emotions." So stop those numbing behaviors: Put down the phone, and literally stare into space. It could be while waiting in line, or it could be in the shower. Just 20 minutes of open brain time is all you need.
社会学家克里斯汀·卡特称:“我们大多数大脑活动和整个神经系统都在一个潜意识的水平运作着。它不会用言语表达,只能通过肢体的感觉与情绪将信息传达给你。”因此停下做令你无聊的事:放下手机,开始发呆。你可以是在排队或洗澡时做这件事。你需要的只是这20分钟的放空时间。

2) Let yourself feel what you feel. Notice body sensations.
2) 感受到自己的情绪,注意身体的感觉。

Notice what you're really feeling, and where those feelings physically occur. Is it a sad sensation, in your throat? A lonely ache in your stomach? Imagination is useful here, Carter says: Can you give your feelings a color or shape? Michael Leiter, a psychologist recommends recording them in a notebook as they emerge.
注意你真正感觉到了什么以及这些感觉来自身体的哪个部位。你悲伤是因为喉咙不舒服么?你会感到孤单,是因为胃痛吗?这个环节想象力能帮助你。卡特提到,你能给自己的感觉染上一种色彩或赋予其某种形状么?心理学家迈克尔·莱特建议人们在察觉自己的情感产生时,将它们记录在笔记本中。

3) Accept what you feel.
3) 接受你的心理感受

Have a plan for when negative feelings surface, Carter says. Remember that physiologically, any emotion in your body will only last about 90 seconds.
卡特表示,我们可以制定计划,来应对消极情绪的作怪。记住,从生理学而言,你身体中的任何一种情绪仅仅将持续90秒。

Oettingen has a routine she calls WOOPing: During an introspective moment, identify a wish for either now (a worry-free evening, for example) or the future (a career in which you feel fulfilled). Then imagine the outcome of that wish, determine which obstacles prevent you from realizing that wish, and make a plan for getting past them.
厄廷根有一项她称为WOOPing的日常——在沉思时,确认一个愿望,要么是为现在(像是想要一个无忧无虑的夜晚),要么为将来(希望能找到一份成就感十足的工作),而后想想达成此愿望的成果,并明确实现这一愿望的话你会遇到何种阻碍,接下来就是制定计划突破这些阻碍了。

Don't be afraid of BIG change. Best of all, you'll be able to understand what you really, truly love to do.
别怕大改变。(因为)令人欣喜的是,你将能够了解自己真正喜欢做的事是什么啦。