正文
正常人必看:你绝对不该在健身房做的21件事
1.Snapping # belfies(bottom selfies) on the weight room floor
在健身房拍臀部自拍
I’m sorry, I don’t care if you have the ass, you look ridiculous snapping pics of your own rear view in the weight room mirrors. No one actually stands or stretches like this -- belfie poses are absurd.
抱歉,我不在乎你是否有翘臀,但是照着健身房的镜子拍自己的臀部照真的很可笑。没人真的像这样站立或伸展身体,臀部自拍真的很蠢。
2.Grunting, howling, or roaring like an animal
像动物一样发出喊声、咆哮或者吼叫
There’s nothing wrong with emitting a few inadvertent grunts on the last couple reps of your bench press because you’re exerting yourself. But to the who grunt, howl, and roar before, during, and after throwing around a few questionably heavy dumbbells: you’re making a spectacle of yourselves in all the wrong ways.
你在举重练习凳上举最后几下时无意中大喊几声无可厚非,因为你锻炼时要用力。但对于那些举起好像没那么重的哑铃之前、期间或之后大喊、咆哮或者吼叫的人来说,就是在用不恰当的行为使自己成为奇葩。
3.Mansplaining
男人式的说教
And when you use your “knowledge” to get close to a woman, especially with that condescending tone? That’s skeevy.
当你利用你的“知识”去接近一个女孩儿时,尤其是带着那种居高临下的口吻的话,真的很令人讨厌。
4.Developing future douchebags
培养未来的蠢材
Dads, teaching your sons to properly lift weights is a valuable skill. Talk to a trainer about age-appropriate lifting methods before you take your Mini Me through your go-to gains program.
爸爸们,教会你们的儿子正确的举重姿势是很实用的技巧。在你带小号的自己去锻炼之前跟教练商讨一下适合他们年龄的举重方法。
5.Swinging weights
举重时站不稳
Don’t use your body’s momentum to lift the weight while performing traditional strength-training exercises. If you can’t use good form to complete a set, you have no business trying to lift the amount of weight you want everyone to notice you’re lifting.
进行传统力量训练时不要利用身体的冲力举起杠铃。如果你不能姿势优美地举完一整套杠铃,那就没必要仅仅为了博得大家的关注尝试举起过重的杠铃。
6.Wearing a mansie
着装不合适
Weightlifting-style spandex onesies have no place in your wardrobe unless you are actually a competitive weightlifter. Also, wearing a cycling bib on an upright bike? Weird.
除非你真是一个举重运动员,否则衣柜里不会有专业举重运动员穿的弹力纤维的连体衣。就像骑普通自行车时穿着一件骑行服,看起来怪怪的。
7.Leaving behind hairballs
留下很多团头发
Ladies, do what you want at home, but pick that shit up at the gym and walk the 2ft to the trashcan. It’s disgusting.
美女们,在家怎么做在这儿就怎么做,在健身房里把头发都捡起来,走几步扔到垃圾桶里。弄得到处都是头发真的很恶心。
8.Spraying deodorant like you're trying to eradicate a mosquito population
体香剂喷得太多好像你要消灭所有蚊子似的
Surely as a grown man you can do better. This also applies to grown women.
作为一个成年男人你能有更好的选择。这条也适用于成年女性。
9.Drying anything other than hands with the hand dryer
烘手机只用来烘手,还烘干别的东西
Hair, feet -- that’s not what the HAND dryer is there for. Respect the fact that when you dry your nether regions under a shared locker-room hand dryer, everyone else is getting the worst kind of peep show.
头发和脚不是烘手机的服务对象。你要意识到一个事实,当你用公用更衣室里的烘手机烘干私处时,大家就好像在看你的下流表演。
10.Loud talking
大声说话
No one else cares how your boyfriend’s mom disrespected you at last week’s family dinner. Seriously. By all means, talk, just take the volume down by a decibel or 10.
没人在乎你男朋友的妈妈上周家庭聚餐时怎么不尊重你了,真的,你说话时一定要把音量降低1分贝或10分贝。
11.Turning stretching into softcore porn
伸展身体像色情表演
Go ahead and get your stretch on in whatever weird, bendy poses your body needs, but don’t intentionally turn your cat-cow into an oversexualized softcore porn session as you make eyes at the hunk of muscle across the gym.
你可以伸展身体,根据身体需要做出任何古怪、弯曲的姿势。但千万不要为了和健身房里的肌肉男眉目传情就把瑜伽动作做得过于让人浮想联翩。
12.Leaving a trail of destruction behind you
不要把健身房弄得像犯罪现场
This is not your home, and your inability to pick up after yourself actually interferes with everyone else’s workouts.
这里不是你自己家,你不讲卫生会给别人锻炼带来麻烦。
13.Obsessing over intra-workout protein consumption
过分注意锻炼时补充蛋白质
Unless you’re engaging in extra-long, intense workouts, shaking up your protein powder after 15 minutes on the machines is completely unnecessary.
除非你正在进行超长时间、高强度的锻炼,否则完全没必要在锻炼后15分钟就喝蛋白质粉。
14.Locking a poo behind you
大便之后厕所里臭气熏天
Hey, sometimes shit happens. Do everyone a favor and leave the door open when you finish your business. Shutting the door prevents your stink from dissipating, and it’s the worst kind of surprise for the next person who opens that door.
有时锻炼时会想大便。如厕之后就算是帮别人个忙,把门开着。关门的话臭味就散发不出去,对下一个开门的人来说这个味道绝对是个惊吓。
15.Being the "Ab Guy"
自恋
In every gym, there’s at least one Ab Guy or Gal making love to themselves in the mirrors. You may be beautiful on the outside, but you’re giving me serious doubts about your insides if you’re that obsessed with your own physique.
每个健身房里至少有一个自恋的男孩或女孩,他们爱死了镜子里的自己。你可能外表很美,但如果你那么痴迷于自己的身材真的使我怀疑你心理不健康。
16.Staying naked way longer than necessary
裸体时间过长
If you forget your towel in your locker and have to walk naked from one side of the locker room to the other before wrapping up, fine. But if you strip down as soon as you walk through those doors, and practice your physique poses in the mirrors, you need to take a serious look at your personal motives. Is the gym locker room really the place to do it? I think not.
如果毛巾忘在储物柜里了,迫不得已光着身子穿过更衣室去裹浴巾,这无可厚非。但如果你一进门就脱光光,然后照着镜子练习各种健身姿势,你就要仔细考虑一下你的动机了。更衣室里适合做这些吗?我觉着不合适。
17.Getting busy in the hot tub or pool
在浴池或泳池里忙得不亦乐乎
The gym’s wet areas are not your private foreplay spots. And just because the bubbles are on in the hot tub doesn’t mean you can get away with hand stuff. What is wrong with you?
健身房里冲澡的区域不是你的私人暧昧场所。在浴池里身上有泡沫也不意味着你不会被发现。你是怎么了?
18.Blasting your own music
大声放自己的音乐
Put on some headphones! I don’t know what world you live in that you think it’s acceptable to force everyone around you to listen to your playlist, but it’s not OK.
找个耳机戴上吧!我不知道你生活在什么样的世界里,使你觉得迫使身边所有人听你喜欢的歌无所谓,但其实这并不合适。
19.Hoarding and abandoning towels
囤毛巾、随意丢弃毛巾
If you’re lucky enough to work out at a facility that provides towel service, then 1) understand there’s an actual human being responsible for washing and folding all those towels, so don’t make their job harder by taking more towels than you actually need, and 2) don’t leave your towels behind you.
如果你很幸运去了一家提供毛巾的健身房锻炼,那么第一你要明白每个人都有责任把毛巾洗干净叠好,不要多拿毛巾给服务人员增加工作负担,其次不要随手乱扔毛巾。
20.Using the sauna to "warm up"
把蒸桑拿当成“热身”
Using it so you can get that “sweaty look” before your normal workout is just weird. Know what else will give you that “sweaty look”? Your actual workout. And you’re less likely to suffer dehydration.
常规运动之前利用蒸桑拿达到“大汗淋漓”的目的是很怪异的行为。你知道有什么别的方法能使你看起来“大汗淋漓”吗?要真的去运动,这样做还能减小脱水的风险。
21.Using the showers like they’re your own
把淋浴当自家的用
No mildly empathetic adult spends 30 minutes in the gym shower, especially when other people are waiting. If you can’t lather, rinse in less than 10 minutes (and I’m being generous here), then you probably shouldn’t be showering at the gym at all.
没有一个设身处地为他人着想的人会在健身房里淋浴30分钟,尤其在还有其他人等候的情况下。如果你不能在10分钟内擦好香皂并冲洗干净的话(这个时间是很充裕的),那你就不该在健身房里洗澡了。
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