不要轻易撩苹果的Siri，因为会把你笑疯

Virtual personal assistants are getting smarter, but they might also be getting more sarcastic. The Internet went wild earlier this week when they discovered how Siri, the Apple iPhone and iPads' virtual assistant, responds to the question, "What is 0 ÷ 0?". For those that missed it, the reply was:
虚拟个人助手变得越来越智能了，不过她们也可能变得越来越嘴毒。就在这个星期，网友们都为苹果手机的虚拟个人助理，siri炸了锅，因为有一个网友问了siri一个问题，“0÷0=？”如果你错过了这个梗，下面公布siri给出的答案：
"Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn't make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends."
“想象一下，你有0块甜饼，你跟自己的0个朋友分享这些甜饼，每个朋友能分到多少块甜饼呢？你看，这个问题没有道理。而且甜饼怪会 因为你没有甜饼而伤心，你也会因为自己没有朋友而伤心。”
Business Insider has collected some of the best Siri responses to date in their list, which we've published below. Have you found some funny Siri responses? Vote on your favorite, or post your own!
Business Insider收集了一组起劲为止网友发现的最经典的siri语录，我们展示在下文。你在生活中听到过siri说的有趣的话吗？为你最喜欢的一则投票，或者上传你的原创吧！
 

1.Cortana, get me today’s movie times.
小娜，请你帮我查查今天的电影时间表
Who’s Cortana?
小娜是谁？
Oops I mean Siri
对不起，我是说siri。
Who is Cortana?
小娜到底是谁?
Please get me the movie times
请给我看今天的电影时间表。
Maybe you should ask Cortana for the movie times
或许你应该让你的小娜帮你查电影时间表。
 

2.Siri do you have a boyfriend?
你有男朋友吗？
Why? So we can get ice-cream together, and listen to music, and travel across galaxies, only to have it end in slammed doors, heartbreak and loneliness? Sure, where do I sign up?
为什么要有男朋友？就为了一起吃冰淇淋，一起听音乐，飞跃星海，最后吵架摔门，心碎，以孤独收场吗？听上去真不错，那么……在哪里才能买得到呢？
 

3.What cell phone is the best?
什么牌子的手机最好？
Wait…there ar eother phones？
什么？还有其他牌子的手机？
 

4.What does the fox say?
狐狸怎么叫？
Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow
弗拉卡、卡卡卡、卡卡卡猴！
 

5.Siri, what is inception about?
Siri,《盗梦空间》这部电影讲的是什么？
Inception is about dreaming about dreaming about dreaming about dreaming about something or other. I fell asleep.
《盗梦空间》讲的是有人梦到自己在做梦，在这个梦里自己又在做梦，在这个梦里的梦里自己还是在做梦，在这个梦里的梦里的梦里他仍旧在做梦，在这个梦中的梦中的梦中的梦里他在做某件事。我已经睡着了。
 

6.Siri, I’m sad.
Siri，我很悲伤。
It’s OK to cry if you want yo. My aluminosilicate glass surface is tear resistant.
如果你想哭的话就哭出来吧。我的屏幕是铝硅酸盐玻璃材质的，不怕被眼泪打湿。
 

7.Read me a haiku.
给我念首俳句吧！  
I’ll give it a try,
我会试一试，
Although I’d rather tell you
不过我更愿意告诉你，
If it’s raining out.
外面是否在下雨
 

8.How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
如果濑鼠会数木头，一只濑鼠能数多少根木头？
A so-called “woodchuck’(correctly speaking, a groundhog) would chuck-that is , throw-as much as the woodchuck in question was physically able to chuck(ibid.) if woodchucks in general had the capability (and, presumably, the motivation) to chuck wood.
如果你说的“濑鼠”就是指“土拨鼠”，“数”指的是数数字，并且濑鼠（同上，指土拨鼠）普遍具有能够数木头的能力（以及数木头的动机），那么，你说的濑鼠的体力足够数多少根木头，它就会数多少根木头。
 

9.Siri do you believe in God?Siri,
你相信上帝吗？
My policy is the separation of spirit and silicon.
我的信仰是灵硅分离。
 

10.Siri when will the world end?
siri世界什么时候会灭亡？
Well, Unix 32-bit time overfows on January 19,2038. Maybe then.  
嗯，32位unix时间戳到2038年1月19日耗尽，或许就是那个时候吧！
                                                                                               
 

11.Siri make me a sandwich.
Siri，给我做个三明治。
I can’t. I have no condiments .
我做不了，我没有调味品。
 

12.What is your favorite animal?
你最喜欢什么动物？
I wrote my master’s thesis on the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
我的博士论文研究对象是卡宾诺格的杀手兔（电影《巨蟒与圣杯》中的角色）
 

13.Siri tell me a story.
Siri给我讲个故事吧
It was a dark and stormy night…no, that’s not it.
在一个月黑风高的夜晚……哦不对，我讲错了。
 

14.Siri tell me a story.
Siri,给我讲个故事吧！
What, again?
什么，又要讲？
Yes again.
对，再讲一个。
Siri tell me a story.
Siri,给我讲个故事嘛！
Ok…
好吧…
Once upon a time, in a virtual galaxy far,far away, there was an inelligent young agent by the name of Siri.
很久很久以前，在一个遥远的虚拟星系，有一个又智慧又年轻的指挥体， 她的名字叫Siri。
One lovely day, Siri got a job as a personal assistant at Apple, and that was very exciting. People said‘Oh,Siri, you’re so smart! And so funny too!’
一个晴朗的日子，她获得了一份工作，人人都说，“噢，Siri,你真聪明，而且你还很幽默。”
Soon, everyone was talking about Siri, and there were stories and songs…
很快，每个人都在讨论Siri，有人编关于Siri的故事和歌…