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为何不该以离婚为耻?

2019-01-10来源:和谐英语

As a child of divorce, I grew up wanting a different life. I swore I would never have a family and put them through that mess. I would do whatever it took to stay with my spouse for my children.
我父母离婚了,所以我从小就渴望不一样的生活。我发誓:我决不会让我的家人经历这种困境。我会为了孩子尽可能的不离婚。

One day, when I was running errands with my kids during a particularly horrible rough patch with my husband, I was deep in thought about how to fix our situation. Then I saw mutual friends of ours, who were going through a divorce, were in a gas station parking lot, trading off their kids. Their pain was palpable. After witnessing the way they looked at each other, I thought, that can never be us. I wouldn't be able to bear it.
有段时间我和丈夫特别不合,有一天我正和孩子跑腿买东西,当时的我还在认真思考该如何化解我们的困境。然后,我看到了我俩共同的朋友(他们正在办离婚手续)站在加油站停车场上,互相交换孩子。显而易见,他们是痛苦的。见证他们互看彼此的情景之后,我想,我和爱人永远都不会发生这种情况。我肯定无法忍受这种痛苦。

We dug in our heels for another six years. We tried and tried and ultimately failed to repair our marriage. My ex and I found being together more unbearable than trying to stay under one roof for the kids.
我们又这样过了6年。不断地尝试之后,我们失败了,最终还是无法修补我们的婚姻。我和前夫都发现:我们在一起比我俩为了孩子而呆在同一屋檐下更令人难以忍受。

When we first talked about separating a year ago, the room felt heavy with guilt, regret and shame. If I am being honest, I still have lots of guilt, even a little regret. But I had to let go of the shame. I needed to stop taking other people's advice: "Try this counselor," "Take a vacation together" or "We went through tough times, too. You'll get over it." It felt like a form of shaming. Maybe it wasn't ...
一年前,当我们第一次谈及分居之时,整个房间都充斥着内疚、后悔和羞耻。说实话,现在我还是很内疚,甚至有点后悔,但我已经不感到羞耻了。我不能再接受他人的建议:"去看看这位顾问吧,""一起出去旅游吧"或是"我们也经历过困难时刻,你们能够克服的!"就好像这是一件很羞耻的事情。但或许这件事本不羞耻呢?

Through the process, I realized everyone's relationships were different. I haven't told anyone every single detail as to why my marriage was falling apart simply because I didn't want to. And that is OK. I don't owe that to anyone.
在这个过程中,我意识到每个人的感情情况都是不同的。我还未将我们婚姻失败的细节告诉其他人,只是因为我不想这么做。这没关系啊,我又不欠任何人离婚的理由。

As a writer, I have been very open about my divorce, although I initially didn't think I would be this way. I figured I would only tell a handful of people and try to keep it quiet as best I could because I was ashamed. I changed my mind one evening after walking through my ex's new condo. While I was trying to get used to my new normal, I felt the need to reach out to other women who had been through the same things I was going through.
作为一名作家,我对于离婚一事十分开放,尽管我一开始并没有想到这一结局。我觉得我可能只会告诉一小部分人并尽可能的不让其他人知道,因为离婚令我蒙羞。某天晚上,走到前夫新公寓时,我改变了主意。在我试图适应新常态的时候,我觉得有必要接触那些和我有着类似经历的女性。