属于我的时间

Since I became a mother,
身为人母之后
I cannot remember the last time I had quality time for myself
我已经记不得上一次享受一个人的时间是什么时候了...
Even my simple hobby of reading a book was already a thing of the past.
甚至读书这样简简单单的爱好也已经成为了往事
All my time evolved in taking care of the family,
我的所有时间都用在家事上了
my kids,
养育孩子
my husband,
照顾丈夫
doing the house chores
做家务
and of course working to earn a living.
当然，还有上班赚钱养家
Whenever I get to be invited
每次我受到邀请
by my colleagues to go out after work,
同事们约我下班去聚会
I politely declined
我只能礼貌的拒绝
telling them the truth that
坦言相告
I have a family to take care after work.
我下班后还要回去照顾家人
Not to mention the tons of laundry,
更不提回家还有成堆的衣服要洗errands各种杂事要做
and other house chores waiting for me.
还有一大堆家务在等着我
Well, I guess that is all part of motherhood.
好吧，我想这些都是一个母亲生活的组成部分
Of course,
当然
I took responsibility of my being a mother and wife
我会对自己身为母亲和妻子的角色尽职尽责
and tried my very best to maximize my time as much as possible.
尽全力让自己的时间得到最大化的利用
But then,
可是随后
as years passed by
数年过去了
I realized that the chores were unending.
我意识到自己的职责没有尽头
My to-do list never seemed to have an end.
我那张“待办事宜”的清单似乎无休无止
Even if I try to finish all of it,
即使我努力做完所有的事
new ones will always come up.
新的事情最后总会出现
I tried to prioritize my tasks
我试着给自己的任务安排一个优先级
and still feel very exhausted at the end of the day.
但到了一天的末尾，我还是感到筋疲力尽
I tried to share responsibilities with my husband and kids,
我试着让丈夫和孩子们分担家务
but still felt that I have no time for myself.
但还是感到完全没有自己的时间
The chores seemed to be endless.
要干的活儿似乎没完没了
I craved for "me time. "
我渴望有点“自己的时间”
And when I say me time,
当我说“自己的时间”
I only meant being able to do my eyebrows in an unhurried way,
我值得仅仅是，可以慢条斯理的画眉毛
having an hour or so of quiet bliss,
能够安安静静的呆一分钟
playing candy crush,
玩一玩小游戏
listening to music,
听听音乐
reading a book,
看看书
or watching a movie
或者欣赏一部电影
without being constantly interrupted by my toddler
而不是经常被我的宝宝们打断
with the words, "It's my turn, mama."
提醒我，“妈妈，轮到我了”
I have been so used to not having time for myself
我太习惯这种毫无个人时间的生活了
that I didn't give much thought about that "me time"
我甚至没有怎么想到过“自己的时间”
until just recently.
直到最近
After 10 long years of waiting,
十年的漫长等待之后
my immigrant visa application was finally approved
我的签证终于办好了
and I had to travel to a new country all by myself.
我将独自去一个陌生的国家旅行
Since the agency was going to pay for my airfare only,
由于旅行社只能为我支付旅费
my husband and kids will have to follow at a later date
我的丈夫和孩子们只能日后再过来
as soon as I can purchase their plane tickets.
当我能为他们买飞机票的时候
And so it happened.
于是我愿望成真了。
I was alone in an apartment.
我一个人呆在房间里
Now I can do whatever I wanted
现在我可以做自己想做的任何事
and keep the house clean and tidy.
可以保持房间干净又整洁
I can read my favorite books
我可以读自己最喜欢的书
and do all that I wanted to do with my time.
可以花时间做自己想做的任何事
I practically had all the time for mysel while waiting for my job orientation!
事实上，由于我必须等着入职培训，眼前的时间全都是我自己的！
But surprisingly it didn't make me happy.
我惊讶的发现，自己并没有感到高兴
I was lonely.
我如此孤单
No more daily routine of nagging
突然间没有了日常的絮絮叨叨
and pushing the kids to get up and help out.
不用催促着孩子们起床，上学
I missed my kids,
我想念我的孩子们
I missed my husband,
我想念我的丈夫
I missed my family back home.
我想念我远在天边的小家
I felt something in me was missing.
我感到自己内心像是缺了一块
My kids, my family are already part of me.
我的孩子，我的家人已经是我的一部分
I spent nights crying myself to sleep
我整夜整夜哭泣，哭累了才睡着
easing the loneliness within me.
以此排解心中的孤独
Then I came to realize that making time for me
我意识到，腾出自己的时间
doesn't mean being away from those I love.
并不意外着远离自己所爱的人
I can still have a "me time"
我仍可以享受“自己的时间”
even if I have the kids around
即便孩子们都围绕在我身旁
and endless chores and errands to take care.
即便我有无尽的家务和杂事要去处理
I can prioritize and plan.
我可以排优先级，可以计划
I can change my attitude and approach towards house chores and errands.
我可以改变自己对家务杂事的态度，改进自己的做事方法
Life wouldn't be the same without the people you love near you.
没有你爱的人在你身边，生活就会变味
As of the moment,
此时此刻
I am looking forward that
我正期盼着
they can join me soon
他们能很快重新回到我身边