我早就说了嘛！

Those 4 words never sounded so good
我从未觉得这几个字如此动听
til the June morning
直到一个六月的早晨
in my mom's hospital room.
在母亲的病房里
It began when my mother was admitted to the hospital
事情的开始是这样的，我母亲要住院
for a really bad infection in her bladder.
因为膀胱有严重的感染
It was November 21
那是11月21日
when they called us to her hospital room
医院把我们一家人叫到母亲的病房里
to tell us my mom had a mass tumor
告诉我们，母亲长了一个肿块肿瘤
it was big in her stomach
在她的胃里，面积很大
and it was malignant.
是个恶性肿瘤
They went over a couple of options
他们列出了几种治疗方案
but all I heard was MDAnderson & biopsy.
我却只听到了癌症中心和活体检查
That same night at about 2 a.m.
当天夜里，凌晨两点钟的时候
my mom got dressed
我母亲穿戴整齐
called my stepdad
叫上我的继父
and walked out of that hospital,
两人走出了医院
she wanted to go home.
她想要回家
The next morning
第二天早上
we went to talk to the surgeon
我们去找医生谈话
to find out what does this mean,
去询问母亲昨晚的举动有何用意
how long does she have by refusing treatment
她这样拒绝治疗，还剩下多少日子
& he said 15 days
他说，大概半个月
maybe less.
也可能更少
I was so scared
我害怕极了
I couldn't accept losing my mom
我不能承受失去母亲的痛苦
my only parent
双亲里我只剩下她了
since dad died when I was 5 yrs old.
因为我5岁的时候父亲就过世了
My stepdad was an ok kinda person
我的继父是一个不冷不热的人
just not involved with our lives growing.
在我们成长过程中，都没有管过我们
So 15 days,
所以，还有半个月
I had
这就是我所有的全部
to pray, to beg, to cry,
我只有这些时间去祈祷，去乞求，去痛哭流涕
to spend time with my mom.
去与母亲共度
I didn't judge her decision
我没有职责她放弃治疗的决定
she's my mom
她是我的母亲
she has earned the right to decide what she wants.
她有权决定自己想要的是什么
My siblings didn't see it that way
我的兄弟姐妹们并不这样想
but really what can you do.
可是你能怎么做呢
I asked everyone I came in contact with
我对自己能联系上的每一个人都发出了请求
if they could say wish good luck for my mom,
我问他们能否祝我母亲好运
I mean everyone.
我说的是所有人
The day came and went
日子一天天过去
and she did sleep a lot
她确实睡得很多
but my stepdad says she seems ok,
但是继父说，她看起来情况还不错
when I'd go visit her
当我去看望她的时候
I would just sit and stare at her
我坐在那里，紧紧的盯着她
I imagine she probably felt like a specimen under a microscope
我想，她大概觉得自己就像是显微镜下面的一个标本
because she'd just cough
因为，她只不过喝水呛了一下
and all heads turned to her glasses of water
所有人都看向她手中的水杯
in every direction
从各个方向看着她
my poor mom.
我可怜的妈妈
Then 7 months later
7个月过后
she ends up back in hospital
她又住进了医院
because her bladder is hurting real bad.
因为她的膀胱疼的很厉害
I remember sitting there
我记得自己坐在那里
just me and my granddaughter
只有我和我的小孙女
because she really wanted to visit her G.G.Ma
因为她很想看望一下她的曾祖母
and I watched her do her crossword puzzle
我看着她玩字谜
trying to sneak in a picture here and there.
设法在这里那里拼出一个图案来
The oncologist walks in the room
医生走进病房
asks my mom how she feeling
问我母亲感觉如何
she says I feel fine
她说，我感觉挺好的
can I go home now?
今天我能回家了吗
The Dr then says
医生说
i'm sorry
实在抱歉
but I cannot be your doctor
可是，我没法给你看病
so I cannot make that decision.
所以，我也不能决定你何时出院
She looks confused
母亲一脸的疑惑
I'm stunned
我也感到十分惊讶
so I asked what did my mom do now?
于是问道，我妈妈又做了什么
He smiled
医生笑了笑
and looked my mom straight in her eyes
直直的看着母亲的眼睛
he says I'm a cancer doctor
他说，我是一个肿瘤医生
 
since all your tests came back clear
你的结果都非常好
I cannot be in charge of your care.
我不能再掌管你的健康问题了
I'm looking at him
我定定的看着医生
wide eyed big goofy smile
双目圆瞪，一脸傻笑
and as I turned to see my mom's reaction
我转过头去看母亲的反应
she picks up her crossword puzzle
母亲拿起我女儿的字谜游戏
 
says as casual as can be
用最随意的语气说
"See I told you I wasn't sick!"
“看吧，都跟你说了，我没病！”
I could only manage to say
我一时百感交集，只能说出话一句
"yup you sure did mom."
“嗯呐，你确实说过，妈妈”
That was 2 and a half years ago
这是两年半之前的事情
and she's still mouthier as ever
她还和往常一样巧言善辩
but I went and thanked everyone
我向所有的人都道谢了
because I truly witnessed a miracle first hand.
因为我真的亲眼见证了一个奇迹