Hillel Cooperman:成年人也玩积木

So, these are the Dark Ages. And the Dark Ages are the time between when you put away the Lego for the last time as a kid, and you decide as an adult that it is okay to play with a kid's toy. Started out with my then four-year-old. "Oh, should buy the kid some Lego. That stuff's cool." Walked into the Lego store. Bought him this. It's totally appropriate for a four-year-old.  I think the box says -- let's see here -- "8 to 12" on it. I turn to my wife and said, "Who are we buying this for?" She's like, "Oh, us." I'm like, "Okay. All right. That's cool."

我们都有黑暗时代。我说的黑暗时代是指,在你还是一个孩子，最后一次玩毕放下乐高积木的时候，和你已经长大成人，决定重新开始玩这个看起来是给小孩子玩的玩具的时候，之间的这段日子。就拿我来说吧，当我儿子四岁时，（我说：）“是时候给他玩乐高积木了。那个挺好玩的。”我就跑去乐高专卖店，给他买了这个。这看起来倒真像是给四岁的孩子玩的（其实不然）。（笑声）我想盒子上写着--让我们看这边--“八岁到十二岁”。我问我太太：“到底我们这是给谁买呀？”她回答：“哦，给我们自己吧。”我说：“也成，好吧，那也挺好的。”

Pretty soon it got a little bit out of control. The dining room looked like this. You walk there and it hurts. So we took a room downstairs in the basement that had been used as sort of an Abu Ghraib annex. Torture, very funny. Wow, you guys are great. And we put down those little floor tiles. And then I went onto eBay and bought 150 pounds of Lego -- which is insane. My daughter -- the day we got it, I was tucking her in -- and I said, "Honey, you're my treasure." And she said, "No, the Lego is the treasure." And then she said, "Dad, we're Lego rich." I was like, "Yeah. I suppose we are." So then once you do that you're like, "Oh, crap. Where am I going to put all this?" So you go to The Container Store and spend an enormous amount of money. And then you start this crazy sorting process that never -- it's just nuts. Whatever.

没多久事情就失控啦。我们的餐厅变成了这个样子。你走进去脚都硌得疼。所以我们就启用了地下室的一个房间，以前是用来虐待人的。（笑话）（笑声）（我说我在家）虐待（人），（你们却觉得）好笑，哇，你们这帮听众真酷。然后我们就换掉了这些地砖。我就跑去易趣买了150磅重的乐高--（笑声）这有点抽疯。我女儿--我们买到手这些乐高那天晚上，临睡前我给她把被子掖好--我说：“宝贝，你是我的宝贝。”她说：“不对，乐高才是宝贝。”（笑声）接着她说：“爸爸，我们发乐高财了。”我说：“对，我们是发乐高财了。”当你做了这么疯狂的事，你就觉得：“噢，坏了，我把它们搁哪儿呀？”你就会去卖整理箱的地方，花一大堆钱（买好多整理箱）。然后你就分门别类的收拾吧。没个头--简直就是发疯。无所谓啦。

So then you realize there are these conventions. And you go to one of these conventions, and some dude built the Titanic. And you're like, "Holy shit! He had to come in like a truck, a semi, with this thing." And then built this -- this is the Smith Tower in Seattle. Just beautiful. And there's a dude selling these aftermarket weapons for Lego, because Lego -- the Danish -- no, they're not into guns. But the Americans? Oh, we'll make some guns for Lego, no problem. And at a certain point you look around, you're like, "Whoa, this is a really nerdy crowd." And I mean like this is a nerdy crowd, but that's like a couple of levels above furries. The nerds here, they get laid -- except for the lady with the condoms in her pocket -- and you said to yourself at some point, "Am I part of this group? Like, am I into this?" And I was just like, "Yeah, I guess I am. I'm coming out. I'm kind of into this stuff, and I'm going to stop being embarrassed."

接着你就开始注意到这些集会。你去了一个这种集会，看到别人竟然堆了个泰坦尼克号出来，你就会说：“老天呀！他得拿卡车或者半挂车，来装这个玩意儿。”接着有人做了这个--这是模拟西雅图的史密斯塔。美极了。接着有人卖这个，给乐高补充的武器装备。因为乐高吧--这些丹麦人--他们倒不迷恋武器，但是美国佬？哇，我们当然会给乐高添上武器了。不在话下。后来到一定的程度，你左右环顾一下，你会说：“哇塞，这可真是一帮疯子。”我是说比一般的疯子要疯上好几倍这帮疯子，他们特别自在--除了那个老带着个避孕套的女生--我就对自己说“我也是他们的一份子么？我也好这个调调么？”我回答自己：“对呀。我想我也是。我应该告诉大家。我喜欢乐高，我不应该觉得羞愧。”

So then you really get into it. And you're like, "Well, the Lego people in Denmark, they've got all this software to let you build your own virtually. And so this is like this CAD program where you build it. And then whatever you design virtually you click the button and it shows up at your doorstep a week later. And then some of the designs that people do they actually sell in the store. The Lego guys don't give you any royalties, strangely. But some user made this and then it sold. And it's pretty amazing actually.

之后你就彻底掉进去了。你会说:“好的，丹麦的乐高公司，他们有电脑软件可以让你自己设计乐高。比如这个电脑辅助设计的软件。你可以假装搭一个积木，点击采购所有的零件，一周后就送货上门了。有些好的设计他们还真在店里卖。这些卖乐高的人也不给你什么专利，奇怪吧。但是有人用软件做了了么个东西，后来还卖钱了。特神。

Then you notice, that if that Lego-provided CAD program isn't enough, there's an entire open-source third party independent Lego CAD program that lets you do 3D modeling and 3D rendering and make, in fact, movies out of Lego, 3D films of which there are thousands on YouTube. And some of them sort of mimicking famous films. And some totally original content. Just beautiful. And people recreating all sorts of things. I have to take a moment. I love the guy who's like running away with his clasps, his hooks. Okay. Anyway.

接下来你会发现，如果乐高公司的电脑软件还不够，还有别的人，独立于乐高公司的资源共享的那种电脑软件商。你可以用他们的软件做立体模型，立体表演，还可以做出乐高电影来。立体的影片。Youtube上有成千上万这样的电影。有些模仿已成名的电影片段，有些是原创的。美极了。人们还重现了一些东西。我得花点时间说说这个。我喜欢这个像是要跑的人拿着钩子夹子的。就这样。

There's a whole programming language and robotics tool. So if you want to teach someone how to program, kid, adult, whatever it is. And the guy that made this, he made a slot machine out of Lego. And I don't mean he made Lego that looked like a slot machine. I mean he made a slot machine out of Lego. The insides were Lego.

我们有整个一个编码语言，还有机器人技术。如果你想教人编程，孩子啦，成人啦，都行。做这个的人，他拿乐高做了个投币自动售货机。不是说他用乐高搭了一个像投币自动售货机一样的东西，我是说他真的用乐高做出了一个投币自动售货机。里面的部件全是乐高。

There's people getting drunk building Lego. And you've got to finish the thing before you puke. There's a whole gray market for Lego, thousands of home-based businesses. And some people will fund their entire Lego habit by selling the little guys. But then you have no guys in your ships.

有的人边做边喝，你可得在吐得一塌糊涂前做完才行。乐高也有地下市场，成千上万的家庭型工厂。有人为了能挣钱玩乐高，还卖这些东西。只是船上没人罢了。

And then just some examples. This stuff really is sculpture. This is amazing what you can do. And don't kid yourself; some architectural details, incredible organic shapes and just, again, nature out of, again, little blocks. This is my house. And this is my house. I was afraid a car was going to come smash it as I was taking a picture for you guys.

这里有些例子。这个东西像是个雕塑品。简直无法想象你能用乐高做到这一步。不是开玩笑的，这些建筑上的细节，这些绝妙的生物形体，这些仅仅是靠着这些小小的积木的自然魅力。这是我的乐高房子。这是我的真房子。我给你们照这张照片的时候特别担心有车过来轧坏了我的乐高房子。

Anyway, I'm out of time. But just very quickly -- we'll just see if I can do this quick. Because there aren't enough TED logos around here. Let's see here. Okay. Ta-da.

我没时间继续了。但是快速地——让我们看看我能不能完成这个。这间屋里TED的标志有点不够。（笑声）看这里。好了。完成了！

Notes:
Lego: 乐高，流行的儿童塑料积木游戏

slot machine: 吃角子老虎；自动售货机

gray market: 灰色市场，水货市场