英语流行话题听力:Unit60 男女之间

Unit 60
　　Between Men and Women
　　Men's Declaration
　　1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- enough
　　2. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
　　3. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!
　　4. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how to do it, just do it yourself.
　　5. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
　　6. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
　　7. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the trouble.
　　8. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
　　9. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
　　10. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know? It's fun like camping.
　　Differences
　　A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
　　A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
　　A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
　　A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
　　To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
　　To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot but not try to understand her at all.
　　A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
　　A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
　　A man falls in love with his eyes.
　　A woman falls in love with her ears.