英语流行话题听力:Unit80 童言无忌

Unit 80
　　As Kids Say It
　　Tell a Story with a Moral
　　A primary school class was asked to tell a story with a moral. Kathy went first. "Once, we were driving a basket of ten eggs to market and we it a big bump in the road. The eggs broke. The moral is don't put all your eggs in one basket."
　　Tammy was next. "Once, we had a dozen chicken eggs, but when hatched, we got only ten chicks. The moral is don't count your chicks before they are hatched."
　　Then it was Johnny's turn. "When my Aunt Karen was in Desert Storm, her plane was hit. She bailed out over enemy territory with only a bottle of whisky and a machine gun."
　　"She drank the liquor on the way down so it wouldn't break, and landed in the middle of 100 enemy soldiers. She killed 70 with the machine gun. When she ran out of bullets, she killed the rest with her bare hands."
　　"What's the moral of that terrible story?" the teacher asked, horrified.
　　"Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."
　　Looking for Dad
　　A young boy was lost in the mall. He ran ut over to a police office. "I've lost my dad!"
　　"What's he like?" he asked.
　　"Soccer and beer."
　　"Cheese!"
　　The camera is always in use when our three-year-old grandson, Tyler, comes by. I didn't realize how much until the night of a large thunderstorm. Our son called to tell us that when a bolt of lightning lit up their flat, Tyler turned to the window and said, "Cheese!"
　　Turning Forty
　　I recently turned 40, and on that day I took my nine-year-old daughter, Kelsey, shopping. As we crossed the car-park, she exclaimed, "Happy 40th birthday, Mum!"
　　"Thank you, honey," I said, "but don't broadcast the 40 part, please." I went on to explain that I wasn't upset about turning 40, but if people thought I was younger, that was fine with me.
　　"Why don't you tell people you're 50 then?" Kelsey asked. "Then you'll look really good!"
　　Worry
　　The night before I was scheduled to have major surgery, Jeremy, our nine-year-old son, became worried. "I'm scared, Mum. What if the doctor makes a mistake?"
　　I calmly explained that the doctor had years of experience and mistakes were unlikely.
　　"But what if he does?" Jeremy persisted.
　　"Then he'd be in a lot of trouble," I teased.
　　"You mean we could sue him," Jeremy brightened, "and I could get a new bike?"