美式"小沈阳" 走红美利坚

以下是黄西现场表演的文本，加了注解，纯属乱弹，呵呵：）

hi, everybody...

so aah, i am irish...

开场白：“大家好，我是爱尔兰人。” 解说：由于亚裔面孔的搞笑艺人非常少见，这样一登场的自我调侃往往引发爆笑。

i read a report saying that a man reach their sexual peak at the age of 18...

but i didn't know this, until i was 25...

so the world will never knew what a stud i was...

这里又是一番自嘲，stud这里的意思是：a man who is sexually active, 和它同义的还有一个单词我们很熟悉：he-man(就是“宇宙巨人希曼”，汗...)。

nobody took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe...

"take a bite out of sth."是个很不错的表达哦！可表示尝试某个领域，例：Dentists say claim took a bite out of business.

i am not good at sports, but i love parallel parking...

parallel parking 指的就是街边停车，或是叫“入库”。

because unlike sports...

whenever parallel parking, the worse you are...the more people they are rooting for you...

这里视频的字幕有个小错误：rooting 而不是routing, be rooting for sb. 是为某人加油打气的意思。

i am an immigrant...

and i used to drive this used car with a lot of bumper stickers that impossible to peel it off...

bumper sticker就是车后杠上的贴纸，有的车很夸张，会整个车背面都贴上这些东西，上面一般是一些口号什么的，比如“此处熊出没” OR “别摸我，我很脆弱”之类的。

and one of them aid ...if you don't speak english...go home...

and i didn't notice this for two years...

和前面那个sexual peak异曲同工之妙。

i tried really hard to become an US citizen, and i had to take this america history lessons...

where they ask us questions like... who's benjamin franklin...

well, I like aah...the reason our convenience store gets robbed...

100美元上印有美国前总统本杰明·富兰克林的头像。

what's the second amendment...

well, I like aah...the reason our convenience store gets robbed...

第二次修正案允许美国公民持有枪支

what's the row (Roe) vs wade...

like aah...two ways of coming to the united states...

Roe vs Wade(禁止堕胎案件); row and wade (row=划船，wade=淌水过河)暗指偷渡。

i have a family now, but i used to be really scared of marriage...

i was like...wow...50% of all marriages end up lasting for ever...

间接讽刺美国的离婚率高达50%；

i just had my first child last year... and aah...i was really amazed by it...

you know...

i was at the delivery room...holding on my son...thinking to myself...

wow...he was just born...and he is already US citizen...

so i said to him...ah...do you even know who's benjamin franklin...

和前面的桥段呼应，“你知道富兰克林是谁了吧！”

now i have a sign on my car...it says...ah...baby on board...

this sign is basically a threat...

it just says i have a screaming baby and a nagging wife...

and i am not afraid of dying anymore...