中国年轻人改变对爱情和婚姻的态度

China's transforming social structure in the past few decades also reflects how the country's young people view love and relationships. Do they still follow their parents’ footsteps when it comes to marriage?

Cindy Shao loves to play darts when she's not working. After studying five years in Canada, she came back to China to join a start-up, aiming to innovate China’s primary education sector.

Born in 1989, she is in a relationship, but says it's too early to talk about marriage.

"Marriage is not necessary for me. I haven't set a deadline. A girl must have her own path. I will not bow down to outside pressure," Shao said.

Cindy’s parents divorced in her childhood. She admits her mother’s independence influenced her a lot.

"Pursuing stability is something that has been carved onto our bones. But in the West, it may be different. Being comfortable is the most important aspect of a relationship. They have to be two independent individuals who share common values but enjoy their own interests," Shao said.

Miss Shao's attitude towards love and marriage represents that of other young people in China who embrace free, independent, and more westernized ways of thinking when it comes to romance. But lots of young people, no matter how fashionable or open they appear to be, still in their hearts want a traditional relationship.

Eric and Christina are college lovers but face a painful choice. Eric is about to start his gap year before going to the US, while his girlfriend will stay to continue her studies. Talking about love & marriage, he said it’s two different things.

"Falling in love is more about being comfortable and relaxed. But marriage is a family issue. I like the marriages of the older generation that are more enduring, more supportive and dependent of each other," Eric said.

Though still in college, Christina has already made it clear when she wants to be married—three years after graduation.

"Because I want to make myself more prepared. Marriage is very complicated. Apart from love, you have to consider babies and houses. And I will listen to my parents’ advice on choosing my future-husband," Christina said.

But still, there is one thing she disagrees on with her parents--if something bad happens, she believes divorce should always be an option.

According to a report by the All-China Women’s Federation in 2015, 70 percent of people born in the 1960s marry their first love. But for those born after 1985, the number has plunged to nearly 50 percent.
But contrary to expectations, couples are getting married at a younger age. For people born in the 60s for example, the average age was a little above 26.

In the following decade, it rose to almost 30. In the 80s, the age had fallen back to 26 and continued dropping by the 90s to just above 24.

"Young people’s marriage choices are more diversified. They’re more educated and have a bigger picture of the world. The awareness of women rights also makes marriage not a necessity for many girls," Professor Ding Yu with Sun Yat-Sen University said.

Professor Ding said this diversified trend has also given rise to online dating and one night stands among young people. But generally speaking, a more tolerant society, is one in progress.