林书豪恶搞视频：我不帅的十个理由

Hey guys how are you all doing? I've got lots of comments saying I try too hard to be cool and funny. And this offends me because it’s true. I try really hard. And you guys aren’t supposed to know that. So fine, no more trying to be cool. In fact, this video is going to be why I am not cool.
大家伙近来如何？很多人说我在我的视频里都一直是装帅卖萌。这么说我很火大是因为那是真的。我有努力过的。其实我不该这么跟你们说。好吧我不装逼了。今天这期节目就来告诉你为什么我不帅。

I spend more time talking to a camera than I spend talking to females. I realize I do this a lot with my hair like Justin Bieber with Tourettes. When I am bored my roommates and I have dance battles in my apartment.
我跟摄像机在一起的时间比我和妹子在一起的还多。我经常这么甩我的头发，就像得了多动症的贾斯丁比伯一样。我无聊的时候经常和室友跳舞玩，在我的公寓里面。

I am also stubborn especially when I think I’m right. Hey Jeremy Lin of the Golden State Warriors. Do you know that African elephants are the largest animals in the world? Land animal. The blue whale probably the largest…
我自认为对的时候就相当固执。嘿金州勇士队的林书豪你知道世界上对大的动物是非洲象吗？陆地上最大的吧…蓝鲸才是。

Also I subconsciously add black around black people. And it because I try really hard to fit in. Like for rizzles. I secretly really wanna be a Korean pop singer. What the fuck…
另外我老是给黑哥们起带黑字的外号，因为我真的很想融入他们。我其实很想成为一名K-POP歌星。

What is embarrassing but I cry sometimes. I cried during Up. I cried during Kong Fu Panda 2. I cried listening to Adele’s new album. You could have had it all…I definitely cried when my hero Yao Ming retired. It was just so sad. Hey man you are right? I’m fine. I’m fine, OK? He was the greatest NBA player ever! You won’t understand.
这很尴尬但是我时常哭。看《飞屋环游记》我看哭了，《功夫熊猫2》我看哭了，听阿黛尔的新专辑我也哭了。而且当我知道我的大英雄姚明退役的时候我绝对哭了。太伤心了。哥们你没事吧。我没事。姚明是最伟大的NBA球员。你不会理解的。

This is more embarrassing but my friend and I have matching pajamas.
我还有一个更尴尬的秘密就是我和我的朋友有一样的睡裤。

I like to show-off sometimes especially when I’m at the gym working out. My friends find me annoying cause I’m super competitive all the time even when it’s unnecessary. Hey Jeremy Lin I bet you can’t make this piece of paper into this trash can right here. All right. Told you. I told you. Not in my house, baby. Not in my house.
我很喜欢炫耀，尤其是在健身房练肌肉的时候。

Anyway those are the ten reasons why I’m not cool. I hope you still like me after this video. If not I understand. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m about to destroy my buddy Jeremy at the game of the basketball. What’re you doing. You could have broke my neck dude. Thanks everyone for watching and I will see you guys soon. Bye.
我的朋友认为我特别争强好胜即使是在没必要的场合之下。嘿书豪我打赌你投不进这个垃圾桶里面。好吧。怎么样？跟你说，在我的地盘这就得听我的。你不行。综上所述这就是我不帅的10个理由。希望看了这期节目你们依旧能够喜欢我。不再喜欢了我也能理解。不过现在我就要去篮球场把我的好兄弟书豪给好好虐一把了。干嘛呢！你要把我的脖子骑断吗？感谢收看，我们不见不散。