小学英语作文:Being tall myself

　　Being tall myself

　　Alexis

　　Nowadays we see supermodels on almost every magazine cover and one might wonder what life will be like being one of them. Such assumption may be painful for most of the magazine readers who are already over the age when they can get taller. In response to the ”Getting taller trend”, some goes so far as to pay doctors to cut their legs open and let surgeries do the job to get just two centimeters’ higher.

　　In spite of all these that are happening, some of my taller friends desire to give up this superiority for they just don’t want to be the center of the crowd, saying that they would kill to be a 4 feet child. Girls, maybe you can’t remember the time when you were younger and you need to jump really hard to catch a glimpse of up-the-table world? But being taller, even the upper world of the refrigerator top is no longer a myth and your mom and dad can’t hide your snacks up there any more! As time goes on, you can easily see on the table the beautiful lavenders or lilies stretching themselves in their own fragrant smell, the shining toaster popping out warm tasty toast, or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table.  Don’t you just love to see every phase of the moon even when they are not that high up in the sky?

　　Well, I do. Being a 5 ft 10 myself, I am also taking the advantage of buying a larger outfit at a same price. Also, I get a cleaner view of the blackboard even when sitting far away from it. I run faster, jump higher and can think positively. I am proud to say that I possess the ability to see the upside of almost everything. I guess it is because I am closer to the clear blue sky above our heads.

　　批 改 老 师  rainbow

　　评      分   90分

　　级      别   优秀批

　　改Such assumption may be painful for most of the magazine readers who are already over the age when they can get taller.  可长高的年龄，没有比较，应该为get tall较好。

　　In response to the ”Getting taller trend”, some goes so far as to ...and let surgeries do the job to get just two centimeters’ higher.

　　1) 根据下文their legs, goes应该为go；

　　2) surgeries 应改为surgeons

　　saying that they would kill to be a 4 feet child.  应该为 4 feet children

　　Girls, maybe ...up-the-table world?But being taller, even the upper world of the refrigerator top is no longer a myth and your mom and dad can’t hide your snacks up there any more!

　　1) world 后面应使用小实点；

　　2）根据现在分词的使用规则（分词短语的逻辑主语要与主句主语保持一致），在不改动句子原意的前提下，建议在even the upper world前添加you found, 而is和can't应相应变成was和couldn't 3) any more 改为any longer 更合适。

　　or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table. or应该为and 更恰当；

　　Being a 5 ft 10 myself, I am also taking the advantage of buying a larger outfit at a same price. a 应改成the;

　　I run faster, jump higher and can think positively. 提一个问题：think positively 与being tall 有何直接联系？难道not being tall就意味着cannot think positively.

　　本文表达流畅，尤其善于细节描写，如As time goes on, you can easily see on the table the beautiful lavenders or lilies stretching themselves in their own fragrant smell, the shining toaster popping out warm tasty toast, or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table.没有什么语病。但本人提出一个意见让作者思考：本文大部分篇章讲述不同人对get tall的看法，而我的观点仅占一小部分，是否应将标题改为being tall更合理？