英语四级作文范例讲解
给联合国秘书长Kofi Annan写信，阐述你对世界和平现状的看法和展望，以及对联合国发挥更大作用的期待。
Dear Mr. Annan, Jan.8 2004-12-11
I am a college student from China, majoring in International Politics. I am honored to write to you to express my view on world peace.
In this ever-changing society, peace and development are the two permanent themes. People from around the world cherish a peaceful co-existence. However, we reGREt to find that world peace is in a worsening situation. Regional conflicts, miniature wars, aggressive wars and ethnic cleansing are nothing new, if not everyday occurrences. Global powers, such as the U.S., are destroying people’s faith in peace for economic or nationalistic reasons. If this undesirable trend could not be reversed, our global village, in my view, would be ruined sooner or later.
The United Nations, which is an international body coordinating a wide range of affairs, should take a leading role in bringing us a peaceful planet. I was hoping the UN, under your guidance, could do more to make our common dream – world peace – come true in the not too distant future.
Best wishes,
Respectfully yours
Zhang Ying (174 words )
gujing101：
Jan.8.2004
Mr.Kofi:
I am a college student from China . It is seen that you have done a a lot for the peace of the world ,and now the world indeed in a relative and jarless situation. But there also have many insecure factors .Just like the war in Iraq , and civil wars in some contries in Africa and South America .And some countries’ hegemonism is a challenge for the world’s peace .
So in my opinion , in the sooner days , the situation now will not have a great improvement , and the possibility of breaking out wars in some part of the world still exist .
Undoubtedly ,the UN plays a very important character in the world’s peace now .But I think the UN should strengthen it’s influence and be the main character .
Best wishes !
Yours ，
Gujing 101
错误很多吧，哪些不足，希望老师能指出来
错误：
1.and now the world indeed in a relative and jarless situation. / and now the world is in a…. situation
2.some countries’ hegemonism is a challenge for the world’s peace . / some countries’ hegemonism is a challenge to the world peace
3.in the sooner days / in the days to come
4.and the possibility of breaking out wars in some part of the world still exist / and the possibility of the outbreak of wars still exists in some parts of the world
5.the UN plays a very important character in… / … a very important part in
6.should strengthen it’s influence and be the main character. / should spread its influence and be a major force in promoting the world peace.
太阳葵新伍：
我感觉我的作文有点像trash........不过我不怕现眼，就因为差才贴出来改进^_^！
有很多不错的词汇一到写作的时候才发现，会说会看却不会写。。。。。。。
前几次4级都是差2～3分就过了，是不是出在作文上呢
希望老师指点，使我进步
Dear sir:
I'm so excited and pleased that you give me a chance to wrie to you.
As a normal people in the world,I have been concerning he peace of the world all the days.I realize that some place on earth are peaceful,developed and prosperous.But in some countries,a great number of people are still suffering from wars,disastersand disease,like Iran and Iraq.Many people were killed and more and more children lost their home and parents.The god treat his people is not fairly,I guess.
At the end of my letter,dear sir,I expect you and your organization may do more good things for your people,for the children and for the whole world.
yours S.J
错误：
1.I'm so excited and pleased that you give me a chance to wrie to you. / I am so honored to write to you.
2.As a normal people in the world / As an average people in the world
3.I have been concerning he peace of the world / I am concerned with the peace of the world.
4.some place / some places
5.suffering from wars, disasters and disease / … diseases
6.The god treat his people is not fairly / God treat his people unfairly
半只耳：
Dear Mr. Annan
I'm a college student in China. As I know, the situation of the world is very complicated.And it has been shown that war never stops in the past 10 years. Undoubtedly, most people love peace. But for the reason that no one person or country can bear being deprived of its own economical and political benefits. So the war breaks out. And what the war brings is chaos and poverty. Like in Iraq, people wherever he comes from meets danger everyday, meanwhile, many residents there are still homeless.
Sadly, in my view,the war will never stop unless the Union State play an more important role in the adjustment of many states.Of course, it is the easier said than done. But I believe that if the Union State conduct more lawful rights than before amd today, the situation of the world may be not as worse as today's.
I'm looking forward to your reply.
Best regards.
sincerely yours
James
麻烦丁老师指导一下，谢谢哦。
错误：
1.But for the reason that no one person or country can bear being deprived of its own economical and political benefits. 意思表达不清楚。/ economic and political ….
2., meanwhile, many residents there are still homeless. / . Meanwhile,
3.the Union State / the UN
4.it is the easier said than done. / it is easier said than done.
猪外婆：
Dear Kofi Annan,
I am a student from China. I am writing to expand on my personal opinion about the situation of the world peace.
To begin with, there are some factors which do harm to the peace of world. A case in point is: a large-scale war in Iraqi is started by Bush administration. If this war enlarges, it may give rise to a comprehensive war all over the world. Undoubtedly, however, it is an inevitable trend that peace is socially acceptable. The myriad of people have the idea that we need a peaceful environment. Additionally, an army of American citizens accuse Bush of setting armies to Iraqi.
On my personal level, the United Nation must take a leading role to medicate the conflicts of the world. And dear sir, as a peacemaker, you should be respected by a multitude of people. It is beyond doubt that the period of war is coming to an end and a whole new era of lasting peace will turn up. I am fully convinced that you can evoke support of all the countries. I am hoping that the peace of world will come true early.
Respectfully yours,
ZWP
错误：
1.to expand on my personal opinion / to express my opinion
2.started by Bush administration. / launched by the Bush Administration
3.If this war enlarges, / If this war escalates,
4.setting armies to Iraqi / sending troops to Iraq.
5.must take a leading role to medicate / must take a leading role in mediating
Blonde：
November 8,2004
Dear Kofi Annan,
As everyone knows,It is vitally important for people to maintain world's peace and maintain peaceful relations is duty by The United Nations .
However,most country at war and the people at deep fire and water now. such as Iraq war at current ,whenever i am think this,my heart is very ache .I am worry about this people.
So ,I think it necessary to do maintain peaceful relations .
At that time, I am ask you to rescue that people .so that this people are gain freedom. and I hope maintain peaceful relations by The United Nations.
Yours faithfully,
blonde
错误：
1.Dear Kofi Annan / Dear Mr. Kofi Annan
2.It is vitally important for people to maintain world's peace and maintain peaceful relations is duty by The United Nations / it is vitally important for people to maintain the world peace, and the maintenance of it is a duty of the UN.
3.most country at war and the people at deep fire and water now. such as Iraq war at current / most countries are at war and their people live in hot water, such as the current Iraq War.
4.my heart is very ache / my heart aches
5.I think it necessary to do maintain peaceful relations ./ I deem it necessary to maintain ….
6.I am ask you to / I am asking you
7.so that people are gain freedom / so that people will gain freedom
8.I hope maintain peaceful relations by The United Nations. / I hope that the UN will contribute more to the maintenance of ….
您的作文几乎每句话都有错误，考试时候为2分档次作文。加倍努力啊！！！
holier-YAN：
我把作文就贴在这了，望丁sir能批下，打个分(我是考六级的)
Dear Annan
Thanks for reading my letter. As we all know, the peace of the world has risen many people’s focus on it. I also have my own idea on it.
Nowadays, a variety of conflicts happen every day all over the world and many people sacrifized BECause of that. We know wars bring the people poverty and disaster. Because of the war many pelple lost their relatives, many children can’t go to the school and haven’t enough food to eat. The present condition of the peace of the world couldn’t satisfied us. We hope the conflicts can be minimized. We appeal that all of the countries could stop these evil behavious.
I’m happy to see that you have done many to keep the peace of the world. I would also be very glad to see the world without the wars and full of love.
Your’s advocator
Holier
错误：
1.the peace of the world has risen many people’s focus on it. / the peace of the world has aroused many people’s attention .
2.can’t go to the school / can’t go to school
3.The present condition of the peace of the world couldn’t satisfied us. / … couldn’t satisfy us/
4.these evil behavious. / behaviors
5.have done many / have done a lot
6. I would also be very glad to see the world without the wars and full of love. / I would also be very glad to see a world without wars and full of love.
风中的记忆：
我的作文 http://wWw.Hxen.coM 和谐英语学习网
Dear Mr Annan:
I'm very glad to write to you. I'm a common college student in China. I think that there is a good chance to tell my images about the world peace to you.
At present ,world are quickly developing not only in Asia,Europe,Amcrican but also in Afican.But as histroic and particuraly reason,there are many unpeaceful places in the world.Such as Araqi and Afican.
there are also in the war.I think most people in the world like the peace ,but why too many countries are unpeaceful?In my opinon, we needn't take care of the reanson cause to wars.we should need UN to help these countries to escape from wars.
As its famous,UN should be as a authority at preventing the war and keeping peace.UN should announce to the world our determine against the war!We must have a faith:UN is a big family,all the states on the Earth are brothers,no matter develeping countries and develeped cuntries,no matter poor man and rich man,we can't choose nationalitys,peoples and hometowns,but we can choose the peace .If all the people follow this faith,a new world will apper in the furture.And UN is a really globe viilage at that time!
yours Eric
Mar 12 2004
错误：
1.I'm a common college student in China. / I'm an average college student in China.
2.I think that there is a good chance to tell my images about the world peace to you./ I think this is a good chance to tell my opinions about……..
3.world are quickly developing not only in Asia,Europe,Amcrican but also in Afican / the world is developing quickly not only in Asia, Europe, America but also in Africa.
4.But as histroic and particuraly reason,there are many unpeaceful places in the world.Such as Araqi and Afica / But for historical and some particular reasons, there are many unpeaceful places in the world, such as Iraq and some African countries.
5.As its famous,UN should be as a authority at preventing / As a famous organization, the Un should be an authority on preventing
6.,no matter poor man and rich man / no matter poor men or rich men
7.apper / appear
8.globe viilage / global village
Venuswang：
This is my compostion:
Dear Mr. Kofi Annan, Nov.27th. 2004
I am a junior who admire you immensely. As a Chinese college student from Beijing Material Institute, I have been concerning much about the current situation of world peace for a long time.
Much to my regret, it still exists much confliction, terror as well as warfare through out the world. When I heard out or read international news as to gunfight or brutality, the most impressive and unforgettable scenes coming into my mind are a great deal of innocent expressions in helpless children’s eyes. I can't imagine what is the true world would be like in their naive heart. As far as the children are concerned, they really want a happy and wonderful childhood without any wickedness. Therefore, I sincerely hope that everyone could live in a peaceful world rather than a horrible one in the foreseeable future.
We have only one world and anyone who eager for peace in this world advice that U.N. should make great efforts not only to pay more attention but also take effective matures to cope with this situation. Only in this way can we own a beautiful world which I am looking forward to all the time.
Yours Sincerely,
Venus
错误：
1.I have been concerning much about the current situation of world peace for a long time. / I have concerned about….
2.through out the world. / throughout the world.
3.When I heard out or read international news as to gunfight or brutality / When I heard out or read international news about gunfight or brutality
4.I can't imagine what is the true world would be like in their naive heart. / I can't imagine what the true world would be like in their naive heart.
5.anyone who eager for peace in this world advice that U.N. should make great efforts / anyone who is eager for …. advise…
写的很好！
战胜六级： http://wWw.Hxen.coM 和谐英语学习网
Nov.27st,2004
Dear Mr Annan,
I'm a university student in China. I am glad to write to you to show my opinion on the world peace.
Peace and Development are the two themes of the world nowadays.Hundreds of countries and millions of people are working hard on it. And now most of countries in the world are trying their best to keep the peace of the world ,including developed and developing countries. I think there are billions of people dreaming of living in a peaceful world. But as I know,violence is still exist.For example ,many terrorists are trying to destroy the world peace.Powerful countries as USA are inclined to be aggressive. And serious conflicts happen in African frequently. But I believe these incidents are minority,the majority of people are eager for peace.
So I hope the UN can take some measures to protect the world peace. I hope more laws and contracts about peace to be drawn up,less terror incidents to happen. I hope there are less wars in the world and people in every country enjoy their lives in peace.
Best wishes!
Yours,
wcq
错误：
1.now most of countries in the world / now most of the countries in the world
2.But as I know,violence is still exist. / violence still exists
3.Powerful countries as USA / Powerful countries like USA
4.I believe these incidents are minority / I believe these incidents are not representative.
小羽：
Dear Mr. Annan,
I am now writing to you to express my person opinion about the Internal Day of Peace which galls on September 21st, 2004.
As you said at the Millennium Summit, the United Nations should function as the leader in the intervention against war, diseases and poverty, I believe what you said is right. Currently the worsening situation in the Middle East is worrying not only me, but all the people in the world. The American government has sent its troops to occupy Iraq and even worse, some American soldier maltreated the Iraq prisoners in jail, which is seriously violating the international law. The Bush administration always advocates human rights movement, but the Iraqi situation is a very good example to let the world know clearly what the American government is aiming at. September 21st, 2004 is the International Day of Peace. I firmly believe that any body in the world, black, white or yellow, must surely I love peace and fight against wars.
I sincerely hope that the United Nations, under your guidance, will lead the world on its way to peace so that the people all over the world shall live in peace and harmony.
Yours cordially,
错误： 写的非常好！
1.some American soldier maltreated the Iraq prisoners in jail / some American soldiers maltreated the Iraqi prisoners
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