2009年6月英语四级作文预测及范文(三)
2009-05-11来源:和谐英语
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic A Food Poisoning Accident. You should write at least 120 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:
你的几个同学因食用了从某超市买回的食品而中毒，幸亏及时治疗而脱险。请描述他(们)中毒与脱险的过程，并呼吁要加强食品安全。
A Food Poisoning Accident _______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
行文思路
本题属于情景式命题。提纲要求描述一件事情的经过，由此可判断本文应为记叙文。
根据所给提纲，本文应包含如下内容：交待食物中毒的背景和原因;叙述中毒的和脱险的经过;谈谈由此引发的感想，呼吁加强食品安全。
高分范文
A Food Poisoning Accident
Last month, I [1]witnessed a food poisoning accident [2]happening to my classmates. At that time the situation was really very dangerous and urgent. Though finally they got out of danger, this accident [3]is still vivid in my mind.
That day was Julie’s birthday, one of my classmates. In order to celebrate it, her roommates bought a big birthday cake for her from a supermarket nearby. They shared the cake happily. [4]However, after a while, all of them felt abdominal pain, nausea and dizziness. Two of them even cannot stand up because of great pain. We [5]rushed to send them to the hospital. [6]It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period. Futunately, [7]due to timely treatment, they all recovered very soon.
[4]However, this accident [8]leaves me a deep ponder. I think it is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety. [4]Firstly, the government should [9]strengthen supervision and administration on food safety. [4]More importantly, to those who immoral businessmen, more strict punishment should be given. [4]Besides, we consumers should be more careful in buying food. [10]Only in this way can we make sure that no same accident happens.
【亮点点评】
[1]“目睹，目击”。
[2]“发生在某人身上”，现在分词短语作定语。
[3]“仍然令我记忆犹新”。
[4]过渡衔接词语，使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。
[5]“闻讯赶来”。
[6]“结果是，原来是”。
[7]“由于及时的治疗”。
[8]“留给我深深的思考”。
[9]“加强监管”。
[10]“only+状语”位于句首，引起句子部分倒装。
佳句临摩
1.佳句：Though finally they got out of danger, this accident is still vivid in my mind.
临摩：尽管这件事情已经过去了很多，但它仍然让我记忆犹新。
___________________________________________________________________________.
2.佳句：It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period.
临摩：结果他没能在红灯前通过那个路口，而和另外一辆车撞在了一起。
___________________________________________________________________________.
3.佳句：It is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety.
临摩：现在的当务之急是帮助大学生树立一个正确的就业观。
___________________________________________________________________________.
【KEY】
1. Though this incident happened a long time ago, it is still vivid in my mind.
2. It turned out that his car could not pass through the crossroad before the light turned red and crashed into another car.
3. It is very urgent to help college students form a right idea on employment.
你的几个同学因食用了从某超市买回的食品而中毒，幸亏及时治疗而脱险。请描述他(们)中毒与脱险的过程，并呼吁要加强食品安全。
A Food Poisoning Accident _______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
行文思路
本题属于情景式命题。提纲要求描述一件事情的经过，由此可判断本文应为记叙文。
根据所给提纲，本文应包含如下内容：交待食物中毒的背景和原因;叙述中毒的和脱险的经过;谈谈由此引发的感想，呼吁加强食品安全。
高分范文
A Food Poisoning Accident
Last month, I [1]witnessed a food poisoning accident [2]happening to my classmates. At that time the situation was really very dangerous and urgent. Though finally they got out of danger, this accident [3]is still vivid in my mind.
That day was Julie’s birthday, one of my classmates. In order to celebrate it, her roommates bought a big birthday cake for her from a supermarket nearby. They shared the cake happily. [4]However, after a while, all of them felt abdominal pain, nausea and dizziness. Two of them even cannot stand up because of great pain. We [5]rushed to send them to the hospital. [6]It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period. Futunately, [7]due to timely treatment, they all recovered very soon.
[4]However, this accident [8]leaves me a deep ponder. I think it is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety. [4]Firstly, the government should [9]strengthen supervision and administration on food safety. [4]More importantly, to those who immoral businessmen, more strict punishment should be given. [4]Besides, we consumers should be more careful in buying food. [10]Only in this way can we make sure that no same accident happens.
【亮点点评】
[1]“目睹，目击”。
[2]“发生在某人身上”，现在分词短语作定语。
[3]“仍然令我记忆犹新”。
[4]过渡衔接词语，使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。
[5]“闻讯赶来”。
[6]“结果是，原来是”。
[7]“由于及时的治疗”。
[8]“留给我深深的思考”。
[9]“加强监管”。
[10]“only+状语”位于句首，引起句子部分倒装。
佳句临摩
1.佳句：Though finally they got out of danger, this accident is still vivid in my mind.
临摩：尽管这件事情已经过去了很多，但它仍然让我记忆犹新。
___________________________________________________________________________.
2.佳句：It turned out that the cake they ate had expired its guarantee period.
临摩：结果他没能在红灯前通过那个路口，而和另外一辆车撞在了一起。
___________________________________________________________________________.
3.佳句：It is very urgent to take effective measures to improve food safety.
临摩：现在的当务之急是帮助大学生树立一个正确的就业观。
___________________________________________________________________________.
【KEY】
1. Though this incident happened a long time ago, it is still vivid in my mind.
2. It turned out that his car could not pass through the crossroad before the light turned red and crashed into another car.
3. It is very urgent to help college students form a right idea on employment.
手机网站