如何淡化雅思写作模板的痕迹?
2. 主体段
模板语言:
1. The benefits of…… can be perceived in many aspects.
In the first place, 分论点一. For instance, 例证 / 语言论证。In the second place, 分论点二. 论证.
2. However, ……has also given rise to a lot of problems.
For one thing,……For another……, Finally,……
在传统的模板里,双边结构的主体段只是简单地分段论证两方面的观点,虽然将两种对立观点展现的非常清晰,但是也难免落入模式化的俗套。
做一个简单的对比:
非模板语言:
a. 让步分析
Admittedly, hardship and bitterness of life could drive people to become mature. Under working pressure, children think about finishing their tasks before the deadline instead of concerning how to kill their seemingly limitless free time. Work may be the only priority of their life. It is fairly different between taking a dollar from their parents and earning one by themselves. Only the tough reality can force them to get rid of selfishness and dependence on their parents, which is exactly one of the most urgently needed cures in parental education.
双边结构的一个重要特点就是双边论证两种观点,在这篇文章里可以先让步论证一个观点,这样可以为后一个观点的论证提供很好的对比。
b. 转折过渡+提出观点
However, everything is mixed blessing. Employing children to work should be viewed as a harsh treatment and abuse to them. Kids, after all, unlike adults, are immature both physically and psychologically. They are extremely vulnerable to both occupational hazards and social evils. More importantly, children are at the golden age for learning not only due to their brain structure but also their curiosity and desire for knowledge. It goes without saying that the silly action permitting children to work for financial reasons is ridiculous.
双边结构的第二段要论述对立面的观点,但是不同于上一段的是,此段不仅要充分的客观陈述一种观点同时还要带有观点倾向,因为要完成文章的第二个任务---提出自己的观点。笔者认为这样的观点提法比较自然,不需要另起一段提出而显得比较呆板。
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