单身男士：宁可打光棍 不要娶错人

Bachelor Carl Weisman got fed up of being classified as a playboy, a loser or a commitment-phobe so he set out to find out exactly why he and a growing number of eligible men were steering clear of marriage.

Weisman, 49, conducted an online survey of 1,533 heterosexual men.

He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage -- but they were afraid of a bad marriage.

"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," Weisman said.

"This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."

Weisman said U.S. figures showed that in 1980 about 6 percent of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17 percent.

Weisman said his online survey found there are three groups of bachelors -- about 8 percent who never want to marry, 62 percent want to marry but of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 percent who are on the fence.

Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.

But while 72 percent of respondents said they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that scared them most was marrying the wrong person.

"It's so important to these men to get it right. My best advice to single women after bachelors is to be patient. If you're in a hurry to get married you'll be frustrated," he said.

Weisman also found that financial issues, both positive and negative, played a large part in men's fear of commitment.

单身汉卡尔．维斯曼再也无法忍受被当作花花公子、落魄男人或“恐婚症”患者，所以他开始研究自己以及越来越多不错的男人为什么不愿意结婚。

49岁的维斯曼对1533位异性恋男士开展了一项在线调查。

他从调查中得出结论，多数男人不是害怕婚姻，而是害怕不幸的婚姻。

维斯曼说：“对于男人而言，娶错人比打‘光棍’可怕十倍。”

“这是第一代在成长过程中目睹了很多不幸婚姻的人。在人们看来，你不结婚，可能是你有什么问题。但这些男人却做出了不同的选择，他们没有屈服于社会压力。”

维斯曼说，美国有数据表明，在1980年，40岁出头的男人中有6%没结过婚，而现在这个数字已升至17%。

维斯曼开展的在线调查发现，目前有三种类型的单身汉——约8%的人从没想过要结婚，62%的人想结婚，但其中一半的人要找到理想的伴侣才肯结婚，约30%的人正在观望。

调查发现，在单身男士中，40%的人不想要孩子，30%的人想当爸爸，其他人态度不明朗。

尽管72%的受访者称自己不惧怕婚姻，但其中一半的人称他们最害怕娶错人。

维斯曼说：“对于这些男人来说，找对人十分重要。而对于那些正在追求这些单身汉的单身女士来说，我能给的最好建议就是，要有耐心。你越着急，事情会越糟糕。”

除害怕娶错人外，维斯曼发现，经济状况也是男人害怕结婚的一个重要原因，无论他们的经济状况是好还是坏。