研究:找到一位恋人将失去两位好友

Ever found yourself dumped by a friend embarking on a romance? Don't worry, you're probably not the only one. For according to Oxford University scientists, every time we start a relationship we jettison two of our closest friends.

Most of us simply don't have enough time for intimate friendships with more than four or five people, their research shows.

And a new love interest leads to two friends being pushed out of the inner circle.

Professor Robin Dunbar, one of Britain's leading experts in evolutionary biology, explained: 'If you go into a romantic relationship it actually costs you two friends in that inner core of relationships.

'Instead of having the typical five friends, they only have four in that inner circle. And bearing in mind that one of those is the new person that has come into your life, it means you have to give up two others.'

Men tend to have four or five intimate friends, women five or six, he said.

However, men were just as likely to jettison friends at the start of a new romantic attachment as women, found the study of those aged 18 to 60.

'Your attention is so wholly focused on the romantic partners, you just don't get to see the other folks you had a lot to do with before,' the professor told the British Science Festival in Birmingham. 'Those relationships start to deteriorate.'

But it's not just romance that can push out close friends, he explained. Children or buying a dog can have the same effect.

'You can only have five slots for deeply intense and meaningful relations. Those individuals don't have to be human. They can be your dog - or your favourite chrysanthemum plant. They can be people in an entirely fictional world - they can be soap opera characters. They can be God or they can be saints.'

你是否曾发现自己在开始一段恋情的时候被朋友抛弃？不必担心，你很可能不是唯一一个遭遇这种事情的人。因为按照牛津大学科学家的说法，我们每开始一段感情，就会抛弃两位最亲密的朋友。

他们的研究显示，我们当中的大多数人根本没有足够的时间和四五个以上的人保持亲密的友谊关系。

而且，对新恋人的关注会使两位朋友被疏远。

英国进化生物学权威专家之一罗宾．邓巴教授解释说：“如果你投入到一段恋情中，你就会失去情感圈内的两位朋友。”

“在那个圈内，你拥有的不再是往常的五位朋友，而是四位。同时记住，其中一位是刚走进你生活的新成员，这意味着你必须放弃另外两个。”

他说，男性一般有四到五个好友，而女性有五到六个好友。

尽管如此，该研究发现，同女性一样，在一段新恋情开始之际，男性也会抛弃一些朋友。该研究涵盖了年龄从18岁到60岁的人群。

邓巴教授在伯明翰的英国科学节上讲道：“你的注意力完全集中到恋人身上，而忽视了之前跟你关系很密切的其他人，于是这些关系就开始疏远。”

他解释说，不过，并非只有恋情会将好友挤出圈外。孩子或新买的宠物狗也会如此。

“你只有五个位置来安放深厚、强烈而又重要的感情关系。这些个体不一定非得是人，他们可以是你的小狗，或是你最喜爱的菊花。他们可以是纯虚构的世界里的人，可以是肥皂剧里的人物。他们也可以是上帝或圣人。”

Vocabulary:

embark on: 从事，着手，开始（新的或艰难的事情）

jettison: to get rid of something/somebody that you no longer need or want（摆脱；抛弃）

have a lot to do with: 与……有很大联系

deteriorate: to become worse（变坏；恶化；退化）

slot: a position, a time or an opportunity for somebody/something（位置，时间，机会）

chrysanthemum: a large, brightly coloured garden flower that is shaped like a ball and made up of many long narrow petals（菊花）