怎么样避免婚外情的发生?

Therapist Frank Pittman believes virtually all cheaters deeply regret straying.
治疗学家弗兰克·皮特曼认为，几乎所有的婚姻背叛者都会为自己的出轨深感后悔。

"Infidelity is the most devastating crisis for a family," said Pittman. "It creates an atmosphere of simmering anger, secrets and dishonesty," he says.
皮特曼说：“对于一个家庭来说，不忠是最具毁灭性的危机。它会让家庭充满怨恨、猜忌和欺骗。”

Some estimates suggest half of divorces involve infidelity. But Pittman says couples can take preventive steps. Here are some pointers and tips:
据估计，半数离婚都是由不忠造成的。而皮特曼表示，夫妻可以采取一些预防性的措施。以下是一些具体的意见和建议：

1. Stay faithful yourself 自己要保持忠贞

If you don't want your spouse to stray, don't have an affair, either. Many affairs are sparked by revenge.
如果不想配偶出轨，你自己也要忠贞。很多婚外情的产生都缘于报复。

2. Don't marry a cheater 不要嫁给“负心汉”

If your husband strayed from his former wife to be with you, then he could leave you for someone else.
如果你的丈夫背叛了他的前妻和你在一起，那么他可能也会背叛你和别人在一起。

3. Normalize lust 保持适度的欲望

It's OK to be attracted to other people; just don't act on it. It's also acceptable to let your spouse know you find a celeb attractive. But don't let your eye wander checking out every hottie that walks by.
被别人吸引是正常的，但不要有所行动。让你的配偶知道你对一个名人很着迷也未尝不可，但不要让眼睛总停留在每个从你身边走过的美女身上。

4. Don't share your marital woes with co-workers 不要将自己婚姻的不幸告诉同事

They may be sick of hearing about it and say "If you don't like her, divorce her", just to be done with it. Or it can pull you and another disgruntled spouse closer together.
他们可能不愿意听你倾诉，为了敷衍你，他们会说：“如果不爱她了，就离婚吧”。或者，这可能会拉近你和另一个对婚姻状况不满的人的关系。

5. If you're thinking about having an affair, the best thing you can do is telling your spouse. 如果你动了搞婚外情的念头，最明智的做法是告诉你的配偶。

"You can say, 'I have noticed we have not had sex in a year,' " says Pittman. This way they can work on intimacy issues and prevent the affair.
皮特曼建议，“你可以这样说，‘我觉得我们好像一年都没有性生活了。’”采用这种方式处理好暧昧关系，可以防止婚外情。

6. Stay off the computer 远离电脑

If you are intimately connected to someone online, that's a red flag. Focus more on the intimacy in your relationship at home.
如果你和某个网友在网上联系密切，这可是个危险信号。把更多的注意力放在家里和配偶的关系上吧。