张培基英译散文赏析之《最后一圈 》

最后一圈
The Last Lap
何为
He Wei
| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》

70年代后期，收阅萧干同志的一封信，他说“要跑好人生的最后一圈”。当时怦然有所触动，一直记得这句话。年前读他的《八十自省》一文，自谓“这一圈跑了大半，离终点不会太远了”。更是令人感慨万千，不胜惆怅。算一下他的最后一圈，长达十余年，很长，也很有成绩，殊堪庆幸。以他的坚毅顽强和旷达，其“终点”线设在21世纪，是完全可预期的。
Back in the late 1970s, I received a letter from Xiao Qian (1), in which he said, “I shouldn’t slacken off on this last lap of my life.” I was deeply touched and have remembered his words to this day. Last year, when I read his I’m an Octogenarian, in which he said, “Having covered more than half of this lap, I’m now close to the finishing line,” I was even more touched and seized with a feeling of sadness. To my great delight, however, his last lap, having lasted, as I figure out, for more than a decade now, is very long and fruitful. Judging by his strong will and broad-mindedness, the finishing line should undoubtedly be somewhere in the coming 21st century.
要点：
1，“萧干”是名人，适当备注有助于读者的理解，所以采用加脚注的方法
2，“要跑好人生的最后一圈”译为I shouldn’t slacken off on this last lap of my life.译者采用反面叙述的方法，其中slacken off 作“松劲”，“懈怠”讲。此句也可从正面译为I should make a success of this last lap of my life.
3,“《八十自省》”译为I’m an Octogenarian，其中Octogenarian意为“八旬老人”，书中还给出另一种译法，为I’ve Completed My 80th Birthday.
4,“感慨万千，不胜惆怅”中的“感慨万千”意即“感触颇深”译为I was even more touched，“不胜惆怅”即“十分伤感”译为（be）seized with a feeling of sadness.

综述：何为的作品一般简洁明了，语言锤炼，感情真切，自然流露，翻译时切记“假大空”。

从人生道路上的最后一圈，想到马拉松超长距赛跑。古希腊人在马拉松地方战胜敌军，一名士兵为了迅速传递捷报，一鼓作气跑毕四万二千一百九十五米的路程，到了雅典后就力竭死去。他带去胜利的信息，他又是长途跋涉的胜利者，后人将这一距离的竞赛项目称为马拉松赛跑，作为纪念。
Meanwhile, the last lap of human life has reminded me of the marathon race. According to legend, when the ancient Greeks defeated the invaders at Marathon (2), a Greek soldier is believed to have run nonstop from Marathon to Athens, a distance of 42, 195 metres, to announce the Athenian victory at the battlefield. Unfortunately, after making the announcement, he dropped dead from exhaustion. He was not only the courier carrying news of the Greek victory, but also the winner of the record journey. Now the long-distance foot race of the same distance has been named after the Battle of Marathon to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier.
要点：
1，“古希腊人在马拉松地方战胜敌军……”是一个传说，因此增译According to legend，下文增译“is believed to”也一样，同legend相呼应。
2，“一鼓作气跑毕四万二千一百九十五米的路程，到了雅典…”转化说法，即“他一鼓作气从战场跑回了雅典，全程…米”译为to have run nonstop from Marathon to Athens, a distance of 42, 195 metres, 这样比较符合英语行文的习惯，“一鼓作气”即“没有停顿”译为nonstop。
3，“他带去胜利的信息，他又是长途跋涉的胜利者，后人将这一距离的竞赛项目称为马拉松赛跑，作为纪念。”采用分译法，译为He was not only the courier carrying news of the Greek victory, but also the winner of the record journey. Now the long-distance foot race of the same distance has been named after the Battle of Marathon to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier. 其中“作为纪念”意即“纪念该希腊士兵的传奇功绩”，故译为to commemorate the legendary feat of the Greek soldier。

综述：本段有两个大长句，注意译者是如何将其拆分组合形成符合英语行文习惯的句子。

马拉松赛跑是考验人的意志和力量的竞技运动。长跑者在同一起跑线出发。一眼望不到尽头的跑道上，强者与弱者的差距逐渐拉开。最后一圈是拼搏的时刻。第一个到达终点的优胜者，迎来阵阵掌声和热烈欢呼，屏幕上闪耀着他创造的记录。
The marathon race is a sports event testing man’s endurance and strength. Runners start from the same starting line and on the seemingly endless track the gap gradually widens between the strong and the weak. The last lap always witnesses the runners going all out to win success. The first to reach the finishing line is showered with warm applause and acclamation while the new record he or she has created is flashing across the screen.
要点:
1,“人的意志”即“人的耐力”不宜译为willpower,可译为man’s endurance
2,“一眼望不到尽头的”=seemingly endless
3,“最后一圈是拼搏的时刻”即“最后一圈是长跑者们鼓足干劲夺取胜利的时刻”，译为The last lap always witnesses the runners going all out to win success，go all out 意为“鼓足干劲，锐意进取”也可用exert oneself to

综述：“最后一圈是拼搏的时刻。第一个到达终点的优胜者，迎来阵阵掌声和热烈欢呼，屏幕上闪耀着他创造的记录。”注意最后一句的主语与前面的不同，要进行转换。

然而，跑道上也有这样的场面：拖着疲惫不堪的双腿，苦苦挣扎着，摇摇欲坠几乎昏厥的身子，终于奋力冲过封锁线，那是多么激动人心的时刻！纵或是最后一名，也是一位胜利者，同样赢得热情的鼓励和赞许的掌声。人们为长跑者坚忍不拔的精神深深感动了。
Nevertheless, we also see this moving scene: An exhausted runner, dragging a pair of weary feet and staggering as though about to fall into a faint, barely managers at long last to hit the finishing line after a desperate struggle. Oh, what a stirring moment! He may be the last, yet he is also a winner. He likewise deserves spectators’ warm encouragement and approving applause. People are deeply moved by his tenacity.
要点：
1，“拖着疲惫不堪的双腿，苦苦挣扎着，摇摇欲坠几乎昏厥的身子，终于奋力冲过封锁线……”首先要增主语An exhausted runner，其次要看句子间的关系，即“长跑者拖着双腿和身子苦苦挣扎后终于通过了终点”，译者将其译为barely managers at long last to hit the finishing line after a desperate struggle（很少有人在苦苦挣扎后能够坚持到最后），突出了跑者的艰辛。

人的一生好比马拉松赛跑。人人都有最后一圈，这一圈通常属于人生道路漫长的老人。七老八十的人，穿过艰难的世途，穿过芸芸众生，穿过重重障碍，于是到了人生的最后一圈。
Human life can be likened to the marathon race. All people, especially the aged who have already seen much of life, have the last lap. Septuagenarians and octogenarians are on the last lap of their lives after experiencing the twists and turns of life’s journey, meeting human beings of all descriptions and going through one obstacle after another.
要点：
1，“七老八十的人”译为Septuagenarians and octogenarians。
2，“艰难的世途”译为the twists and turns of life’s journey，twists and turns 通常做“曲折变化”“艰难”讲，是翻译中的常用词。
3，“芸芸众生”即“众人，各种各样的人”译为human beings of all descriptions。
4，“重重障碍”即one obstacle after another。

这一圈路程有长有短，跑得有快有慢。有的人稳健有力，从容不迫；有的人歪歪扭扭，步子不正；有的人拖拖沓沓，蹒跚不前。也有跑入歪道的人，或跑不快还要挡道的人，或不按竞赛规则乱跑的人，都是注定要失败的。谁能跑好这最后一圈，谁就是胜利者。
The last lap may be long or short; the runners may be fast or slow. Some may run with firm and steady steps and self-possession; some may run very unsteadily and out of step; some may be sluggish with faltering steps. What is worse, some may resort to dishonest practices; some, being slow themselves, may purposely stand in the way of others; some may run without adhering to the rules of the competition. Such people are doomed to failure.Whoever acquits himself well on the last lap is a winner.
要点：
1，“从容不迫”= self-possession（沉着冷静）
out of step意即“步子不协调”
2，“有的人拖拖沓沓，蹒跚不前”即“有的人步伐不稳拖拖拉拉”译为some may be sluggish with faltering steps
3，“跑入歪道的人”即“从事不法或不道德的事情的”译为resort to dishonest practices
4，acquits oneself well 意为“表现好”如Indeed, Celtic have shown more than once they are able to acquit themselves very well, just as their fans who always help them a lot.当然，凯尔特人队已经不止一次展示了他们自己的实力，就像他们的球迷那天，帮助他们很多。

综述：这两段主要就是四字词的理解和翻译，注意有些四字词虽然中文形式上并列，但其意思并不是并列的，翻译时要照顾意思，小词的使用也值得注意，对于这类情感真挚，突出细节的文章，小词的使用是必不可少的。
(1)    Xiao Qian (1910-1999), famous writer, journalist and translator of literary works.
(2)    Marathon, Village of ancient Greece, on the east coast of Attica, some 25 miles northeast of Athens.