学学"八戒" 才能把翻译做好

三、戒“水土不符”，习惯搭配失当

这的确是难度系数较大的问题，它要求译者既有较高的中文修养，又要有较高的英文造诣，一知半解的人常常在此“翻车”。如：

写罢，掷笔在桌上。又歌了一回，再饮数杯酒，不觉沉醉，力不胜酒，便呼酒保计算了，取些银子算还，多的都赏了酒保。

And tossed the pen on the table. He intoned the verses to himself, then downed a few more cups of wine. He was very dunk. Song-Jiang asked for the bill, paid, and told the waiter to keep the change.(沙博里译《水浒传·浔阳楼宋江吟反诗》)

目前，《水浒传》最好的英译本要数沙博里先生的本子了。沙博里出生在美国，青年时来到中国，一住就是半个多世纪。为了译好《水浒传》，据说他潜心研究了山东的地方志和旧时方言，可谓精诚所致，译着既“达”又“雅”。然而历史告诉我们，中国古人没有用过钢笔，宋时用的还是毛笔，故the pen 应改为the writing-brush。

白洋淀的导游牌上，“红菱”被硬硬地翻译成Red Ling。菱角有对应词的，应改为Red Water Chestnut。这里常常有外国人参观，如此翻译，令人汗颜！

下面的几段译文就较好地照顾到了西方人的思维和理解习惯。

老者道：“西方却去不得。那山离此有六十里远，正是西方必由之路。却有八百里火焰，周围寸草不生，若过此山，就是铜脑盖，铁身躯，也要化成汁哩。”

“It’s impossible to get to the west,” the old man replied, “The mountains are about twenty miles from here. You have to cross them to get to the west, but they’re over 250 miles of flame. Not a blade of grass can grow anywhere around. Even if you had a skull of bronze and a body of iron, you would melt trying to cross them.”
(詹纳尔译《西游记·孙悟空一调芭蕉扇》)

美国把贸易和人权扯在一起，只会损害两国的经济利益。
The US policy of linking trade with human rights can only bring harm to the economic interests of the two countries.

关起门来搞建设是不成的，中国的发展离不开世界。
China can’t develop in isolation from the rest of the world.

四、戒主语暗淡

主语是句子的灵魂， 定住译文的主语的是关键的一步棋。主语定偏了，整个句子将显得松散乏力，甚至会误导读者。

如果这个问题不解决，势必影响两国的利益。
Failure to settle this issue is bound impair the relations between the two countries seriously.

If the problem is not solved , it is sure to affect the interests between the two countries.

在上面的两种译文中，显然第一种译文主语选得好，句子流畅。

共同的利益把我们两个伟大的国家连接在一起。
What holds our two great nations together is the cement of common interests.

此句主语部分处理得颇为干练。

操吴戈兮披犀甲，车错毂兮短兵接。
We grasp huge shields, clad in Rhinoceros Hide;the Chariots clash, the Daggers gashing wide.(杨宪益译《屈原·国殇》)

屈原一开篇就“操吴戈兮披犀甲，车错毂兮短兵接”，显然需要补充应有的主语。在《国殇》诗中，后面还有“身既死兮神以灵，子魂魄兮为鬼雄”的句子，可见屈原是以“局外人”的视角来写为国捐躯的将士的，而非把自己混为军中一员。译文中的主语应改为“They”较妥。

厨房里少了一条鱼，主人发誓要一查到底，揪出偷鱼的贼。
Finding a fish in kitchen was lost, the host swore to find out the thief who stole the fish.

尽管汉语中似乎有“厨房”“主人”两个主语，译者果断地选定了the host作主语。打点清晰，增强了句子的内聚力。

夏威夷的沙滩上，椰影婆娑，海风习习，一妙龄女郎正躺在白色的塑料椅上养神。
On the Hawaiian sandy beach, the coconut palms are whirling, the congenial sea breeze is blowing, and a young lady is lying in the white plastics chair resting to restore energy.

因为是轻松读本，又是描述性的文字，使用三个主语the coconut palms、the congenial sea breeze、a young lady仍是可取的。