2014年考研英语写作范文点评

【题目要求】
52. Directions:
Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should
1) describe the drawing briefly,
2) explain its intended meaning, and then
3) support your view with an example/examples.
You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

【推荐范文】
This cartoon humorously presents a scene of a football game with the two rivals facing each other. The striker on one team is preparing to make a decisive shoot while the goal-keeper on the opposite team is posing for defense. However, under overwhelming pressure, both of them are losing their confidence. The striker magnifies the goal-keeper in his mind so that chances of shooting in are slim. Likewise, the goal-keeper minimizes his own image as if he couldn’t defend the goal successfully.
Apparently, the purpose of the picture is to emphasize the importance of self-confidence in our daily life. On account of the quickening pace of life, competition goes increasingly fierce in all walks of life, imposing tremendous pressure on all individuals. The past few years have witnessed dramatic increase in the difficulty of examinations and employment. We must maintain powerful self-confidence and optimism in the face of challenges so as to survive and succeed. Suppose we are inclined to overestimate our rivals or problems and neglect our ability, we will become hesitating and doubtful of ourselves, unable to fulfill even a simple task. Therefore, it is necessary to embrace the strong faith that we are indomitable and invincible.
A case in point is the world famous star hurdler, Liu Xiang. He invariably imagines positively that he can win in every hurdle race, never shrinking in front of other experienced players. That's why he works wonders again and again. As for me, I am participating in the college admission examination for graduates with thousands of competitors. Having prepared sufficiently for one year, I have powerful self-assurance that I can cruise to my dream university. As the saying goes, our only enemy is ourselves. Only by building strong self-confidence can we show grace under pressure and turn our dreams into reality.
【内容分析】
一篇合格的应试类英语作文，首要的是内容上满足题目中给出的所有要点，这也是各个分数等级的评分标准中第一个考察点。试题题目中明确给出了提纲式的内容要点，考生只要稍加注意，找到要点，并将每个要点写清楚，文章的基本分数就拿到了，更不至于跑题。此篇范文对图画部分描述得详尽到位，意义阐释部分把自信的重要性通过正面和反面分别进行了论证，举例部分提到了刘翔和考研学生的自信，从而正面强调了自信在竞争中的巨大作用。所以，内容分析得齐全是其成功之处。
【结构分析】
从结构上看，第一段先是描述图画信息，先说明是场足球比赛，之后进入射门球员和守门员的细节描述。第二段从足球赛引申到现实生活中，生活节奏加快、竞争加剧、考试残酷就业艰难，种种挑战都需要我们树立自信心。最后一段，举例论证，刘翔因自信而百战百胜，创造了世界纪录。考研学生只有自信，才能梦想成真，考入理想学校。此篇范文的结构清晰，逻辑通顺合理。
【语句分析】
一、特色词语表达
射门球员（striker）、射门（shoot）、守门员（goal-keeper）、对方球队（opposite team）、防守姿态（pose for defense）、球门（goal）、守门（defend the goal）、百折不挠（indomitable）、不可战胜（invincible）、总是（invariably）等。
二、用词广度拓展
在强调“自信”主题时，先后分别使用了self-confidence、embrace strong faith、self-assurance等表达；修饰压力或自信的词语，分别使用了形容词overwhelming、tremendous、dramatic、strong、powerful；“竞争者”则用 rivals和 competitors。广度扩展出来的词语在不同段落中点缀，加强了语言的亮度。
三、名言名句使用
谚语和名言往往能够起到画龙点睛的作用，在文章结尾，首先借用了一句谚语来烘托主题 As the saying goes, our only enemy is ourselves，最后提到了著名强者作家海明威的名言——show grace under pressure，成功总结了自信带来的巨大作用。