礼节美语 069 Surviving the Gender Divide

陈豪在北京的ABC美国公司工作。他有事去找美国同事Amy。

(Office ambience)

A：Hi Chen Hao, how are you?

C：我有个问题，要请教你。你有时间吗？

A：Sure. I don't have anything on my calendar for another hour. What's the matter?

C：我们正在做一个新项目，宣传最新的客户服务计划。

A：That sounds like a good idea. We can always improve customer service. Why is that a problem?

C：我们成立了一个小组，包括三男三女，以前互不相识，结果沟通上出现了问题，影响了项目进度。

A：What kind of communication issues?

C：事先声明，我可没有大男子主义，但我觉得那三个女的浪费了很多时间。

A：How?

C：她们喜欢谈私事。好不容易谈到主题了，她们又没完没了，直到大家都对方案满意了才肯罢休。

A：It's good to be sure that you are all in accord.

C：可凡事都要有节制啊。有几次我为了推动进度，打断了她们，结果她们特不高兴。

A：I understand what is happening. You have a gender issue.

C：什么？性别问题？

A：This is going to take a bit more time to explain. Can we continue our conversation over lunch?

******

Amy和陈豪午饭时继续上午的话题。

C：我想了一上午，怎么也想不通早上我们说的事怎么会跟性别有关。

A：Remember that you started off by telling me that there were some problems in the group and you immediately zeroed in on the women.

C：没错，进度慢，就是那几个女同事的责任。

A：Men and women have different approaches to communication that both need to understand.

C：男性和女性交流的方式，可能是不一样。我们几个男的都觉得可以行动了，但那几个女的老觉得太仓促。

A：As with all conflict, you need to take time to address this. You should talk about what is happening, attempt to understand each other and resolve the issue in a cooperative manner.

C：加深相互理解？那具体该怎么做呢？

A：Tell the women you appreciate their opinions and expertise. Ask them to focus more on business conversation and less on personal. Next consider how you men are behaving.

C：难道说我们这些男的也有做错的地方吗？

A：You admitted that you interrupted in an effort to move things along. I bet that you are also trying to dominate and give the women as little chance as possible to speak up.

C：我承认，我们确实有控制会议之嫌。一般情况下，听完她们的意见，我们就不再去看她们，生怕她们没完没了地说下去。

A：To avoid additional strife and accommodate each other, you need to stop interrupting and trying to dominate.

C：我知道了，男性希望马上找到解决问题的办法，而女性喜欢先花时间，建立关系，因此双方就会出现矛盾。